I haven't a lot of time due to a baby sitting job in forty-five minutes and not even having gotten out of bed yet, but I wanted to post this real fast so as to reassure Trinity that every one is doing quite well. Well, in the original they are. We won't speak of the deviant.
This scrawl was one that just came out of no where last week and is a short amount of time after Jhidek, Ruusan, and their four children moved from Norsha'ac to Istilanda, the difference being, from grassy hills, to oceans and beaches.
Please note, also, that Gramma Ti-ti is Tara and Grampa Ar-ar is Nuridarr. Vivian did love her nicknames as a baby and a few have stuck.
It is almost one o'clock in the morning when the first crack of lightning illuimnates the bedroom and it is quickly followed by a boom of thunder, wakening Ruusan almost instantly.
Disoriented initially, her heart pounds in her chest as she lifts her head from her pillow then lightning flashes again and she realizes, belatedly, that a storm has blown in off the ocean and even now, the rain batters against the glass windows taking up the far wall of the room.
Rolling over and sitting up, Ruu pulls the comforter around herself, glancing at the empty space on the other side of the bed. A quiet sigh escapes her.
Sometime in the next twenty-four hours, he'd said when he'd called earlier. This job was turning out to be a bit more unpredictable than expected, stretching to three days, possibly four, but Ruu knows Jay has to make up for his absence while moving her and the kids to Istilanda.
There are still boxes scattered everywhere because she hasn't been able to find the energy to both unpack and mind her children. Vivian and Ellora's excitement over the new location is complete, but just as often, she has to wipe away tears because, yes, they're going to see Gramma Ti-ti and Auntie Merri and Grampa Ar-ar and Auntie Raina again.
That is one thing Ruusan hadn't considered entirely when she and Jhidek had decided to move; the relative solitude that she'd be placed in by the new location. Having lived his family for the past five years, not having someone popping in and out throughout the day or meandering over to Auntie Tara's house when the girls had too much energy was a foreign concept.
But the change is doing her a lot of good at the same time. The fresh start and new setting helps Ruu keep her head clearer, freer of thoughts that threaten to weigh her down.
A faint smile pulls at her mouth as she looks around she and Jay's new room, the large bay windows looking out over the ocean, the light wood flooring and white-painted walls.
Overall, the house has five separate bedrooms, four on the second story, one on the first floor, and there is a small basement that acts as a storm shelter in case of a typhoon. Vivian and Ellora have been installed down the hall in the other room that overlooks the beach and sea, much to their delight, and Connor will be across the hall from them in a couple more months. Ruu has already had to nurse more than one pair of bruised knees due to the slippery hardwood floors, but is finding she likes them much better than the carpet in the apartment on Norsha'ac, if only because they are far easier to clean.
Sleep having fled for the time being despite her exhaustion earlier that evening, the woman slides out of bed, not bothering with the robe pooled on the floor beside the bed. She goes to the tall windows and pushes the curtains out of the way so she can see out. Wind is whipping at the trees and the ocean rolls and tosses, crashing up on the beach only to subside again.
Thunder continues to boom as well, and she absently hopes it won't wake the kids as it had her.
Ruusan watches the effect of the storm, crossing her arms over her stomach. She doubts it will hamper Jhidek's return, but still worries a bit that it will.
She lingers over the view a few minutes longer, then goes to check on Connor. At seven months, he's just beginning to crawl and Ruu made quick work of installing gates on the stairs so that neither he nor Ellie will take a tumble down them. Leaning over the crib, she smiles softly, brushing her fingers over the baby's cheek.
As always, the curls are her own, but it's the sandy color that means her genes have finally had some influence. A small triumph, but after both Vivian and Ellora turned out looking much like their respective fathers,
having Connor bear some resemblance to herself made the back-aches worth it.
Of course, his eyes are still brown.
Oh well, Ruu muses, tucking the blanket closer around her son and straightening to go check on her daughters. Maybe next round.
As she pads across the floor to the bedroom door, a small frown pulls at Ruusan's mouth. Not being near Jhidek's family any longer means that, aside from her husband, who is constantly coming and going, she'll be devoid of an extra set of hands to help with the kids while she's pregnant, especially when she nears her due date.
Considering this problem a few moments later, Ruu decides to bring it up with Jay at some point and tucks the thought away as she goes to her daughters' room.
The nightlight casts a faint glow over the space, giving it a warm atmosphere that seems to ward off the severity of the storm. On the short table between the two little beds and their slumbering occupants, a small, lavender music player has a soft piano piece on, keeping the thunder at bay.
Ruusan gently pushes back Ellora's dark curls, feeling her warmth and hearing her little breaths and pulls up the light purple comforter before shifting across the space between Ell's and Vivi's bed to check on her oldest.
Vivian's leg is hanging over the side of the mattress, so she eases back under the covers and bends down to kiss the five-year-old's temple.
I have no idea what I ever did to deserve all this, Lord, she thinks, rising after a couple more moments and going to stand in the doorway.
She stays there, lost in thought, until a faint clatter from downstairs catches the mother's attention.
Hope causes her pulse to pick up.
Jhidek.
Closing the girls' door behind herself, Ruu makes her way downstairs, the gates opening soundlessly at her behest as she passes through them to reach the main floor.
The air is cooler on the first floor and she crosses her arms over her chest to ward off the chill that causes goosebumps to break out over her arms. There's another faint noise that draws her attention and guides her through the dark house towards the entry way.
Ruu wanders to the short hallway that leads to the front door and draws to a halt when she sees Jhidek there, leaning over to pull off his boots.
He looks up and she smiles.
There you have it. Right as rain.
And now, I must dash. Thank you for reading!
Also, I'm considering doing a short review on BBC's North & South. Would anyone be interested in that?
Thank you muchas for reading!
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Writing: "nerves"
Truth be told, I can't remember when I wrote this. It was in the last year, I know that much, but otherwise, I'm quite in the dark. The computer says 8/17/2012, but that could be the last time I edited it.
This scribble is... a part of my heart, I guess. Nobody probably reads the tags, but for this one I've added "best friends" to the handful of identifying markers because I wrote this with myself and Penny's friendship in mind.
While day described in the scrawl has not yet come for either of us (I am only seventeen, after all), I believe it shall, and when it does, I quite expect I shall be this nervous mess, on both counts. Maybe. We'll just have to see now, won't we?
You should also note this isn't exactly representative of how Penny and I's conversations tend to go, but it is how some of them look to me. My grown-up, mature, and quite insightful ENFP of a best friend, giving me advice that makes me pause and go, "Oh, I hadn't though of it like that..."
The format is a bit weird, so it may take you a couple of sentences to adjust. Otherwise, I hope you'll find this to be amusing, if not a bit heart-warming.
(The height difference is totally accurate though. I'm 5'Nothing" to her... 5'6", Penny?)
Is this where I should comment that any similarities to persons either living or dead are entirely coincidental?
i clasp my hands over my stomach, over that white, white fabric that has enveloped my small frame, its many folds trailing out behind me and whispering whenever i move. nervous anxiety has gripped me and it makes my guts begin to churn.
where my mother is, i have no idea. the others all left me what felt like hours ago but must only be a few minutes in reality, per my own request.
i'd wanted a little bit of time to compose myself and the only result thus far had been to only make myself more uncertain.
had i made the right choice? was this who god was leading me to? could i spend the rest of my life with this man?
the thoughts weighed down on me, forcing me to find a seat and try to regain my nerve.
you've known him for years, everyone likes you, you love him, i told myself, taking in a deep breath, and then stilling when i heard the door into the room open.
the eyes that peeked in i would've known anywhere and the questioning look made me smile despite myself.
"can i come in?" she asked, stepping more fully into my line of vision.
"always," i murmured in reply, dropping my gaze to my lap.
she knows how to read me, she'll know what's going on.
not that there is anything wrong with that.
as i thought she would, my best friend of what must be almost two decades now came to sit next to me, smoothing out the fabric of her own gown - a gorgeous blue that she'd helped me pick out for the bridesmaid dresses.
"it's okay to be scared." she said after a moment, voice quiet in the otherwise still room. "it's not everyday you decide to give your life to someone else forever."
"thank you for that reminder," i grumbled halfheartedly, stomach rolling again because i can't do this but i can't dream of not doing this and--
"trust me," she murmured softly and i felt her hand on my back, rubbing a vague circle to try and calm me. "i've been in your shoes before."
"you wouldn't fit my shoes," i couldn't help but insert this somewhat witty comment, trying desperately to cover up my insecurity.
her laugh was quiet, but i could tell she's not distracted from the original subject. "you remember last time we were in this position but our roles were reversed, right?"
i mumbled an affirmative, recalling that time three years ago incredibly well, despite the time that had passed since.
"you thought i was nervous but trying to hide it and took it upon yourself to try and reassure me, remember?" there's amusement in her voice and i huffed in response to it. "what was it you told me again?"
"i just said that there was nothing to worry about because, in the movies, he's always just as nervous as she is, but you love each other and that'll make everything okay. even if you trip walking up the aisle, which you won't because you've got your big, buff daddy there to hold you up." i recited dutifully, then felt my ears heat. yes, i remembered every word of my nervous speech to my not-nervous best friend on her wedding day.
i had practiced it for days in advance, after all.
humor was back in her tone. "i haven't got anything like that for you, but maybe you should listen to your own advice."
"i'd rather hear yours," i murmured, finally glancing up at her and seeing the warmth in her dark eyes. "if you've got anything. if not, that's fine. i can totally come up with something on my own and --"
"hey," she stopped me with the quiet word, heading off my uneasy ramble before it got any further. "i have got something, if you're willing to hear it."
"always."
she nodded, studied me another moment, then said, "you love him, yes?"
a smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. "you actually want an answer to that?"
there's laughter in her eyes again but she didn't let it escape her. "you told me the day you met him that you'd fallen in love with his eyes and his smile. a year later you said you thought god might be trying to tell you something when it came to you and him because nothing ever felt so right when you were together. you two kept god right here all through your journey to this point," the words were spoken quietly as she touched a finger to where my heart lay. "and he never asked you to give each other up. i am of the opinion, that when god approves, you're in love, your parents have given their permission, and your friends are in total agreement, you've found the right guy."
i watched her quietly, always unsure of how to reply to her wisdom, but this time it seemed she had a bit more to say, saving me from the embarrassment of my own words a few minutes longer.
"so when your dad comes to that door in a few minutes," she continued at last. "i want to see your chin held high and a smile on your face because you are marrying the man you love. and i like to think that god is up there smiling somewhere because one of his precious children is getting married today and he could not be more proud of you."
words stuck to my throat and i couldn't speak for a moment. "you cannot make me cry right now because my sister put heavens-knows how much makeup on my face that has the potential to smear."
now she laughs, the sound quiet yet loud in the small room and i can't help but join her.
when our amusement dies down, i hug her, having to go up on tiptoe so i can rest my chin on her shoulder, arms tight around her "thank you," i whisper, emotion making my voice uneven. "thank you so much for everything."
"you're welcome," she whispers in reply, her embrace just as tight as mine is.
"there will still be an us after this," i say, drawing back enough to look at her face and seeing the tears in her eyes. "he and i will get back from the honeymoon and it'll be back to instant messaging everyday and random phone calls whenever we feel like it."
"maybe not everyday," humor is back on her face. "but often."
i let out a gusty sigh. "every other day, then. i can't live without you for that long, you know."
So, there you have it. I've always found that the art of writing without any capitalization to be a somewhat... special one, I suppose. It makes it feel more personal to me, somehow.
But anyways. I shall leave you to your day, while I got and watch North & South starring Richard Armitage, who many of you might know as Thorin from The Hobbit.
Many thanks, dear readers, for doing what you do best when it comes to this blog, and that is, reading, as one might expect. Have a lovely Sunday or Monday or whatever day it is when you read this.
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
This scribble is... a part of my heart, I guess. Nobody probably reads the tags, but for this one I've added "best friends" to the handful of identifying markers because I wrote this with myself and Penny's friendship in mind.
While day described in the scrawl has not yet come for either of us (I am only seventeen, after all), I believe it shall, and when it does, I quite expect I shall be this nervous mess, on both counts. Maybe. We'll just have to see now, won't we?
You should also note this isn't exactly representative of how Penny and I's conversations tend to go, but it is how some of them look to me. My grown-up, mature, and quite insightful ENFP of a best friend, giving me advice that makes me pause and go, "Oh, I hadn't though of it like that..."
The format is a bit weird, so it may take you a couple of sentences to adjust. Otherwise, I hope you'll find this to be amusing, if not a bit heart-warming.
(The height difference is totally accurate though. I'm 5'Nothing" to her... 5'6", Penny?)
Is this where I should comment that any similarities to persons either living or dead are entirely coincidental?
i clasp my hands over my stomach, over that white, white fabric that has enveloped my small frame, its many folds trailing out behind me and whispering whenever i move. nervous anxiety has gripped me and it makes my guts begin to churn.
where my mother is, i have no idea. the others all left me what felt like hours ago but must only be a few minutes in reality, per my own request.
i'd wanted a little bit of time to compose myself and the only result thus far had been to only make myself more uncertain.
had i made the right choice? was this who god was leading me to? could i spend the rest of my life with this man?
the thoughts weighed down on me, forcing me to find a seat and try to regain my nerve.
you've known him for years, everyone likes you, you love him, i told myself, taking in a deep breath, and then stilling when i heard the door into the room open.
the eyes that peeked in i would've known anywhere and the questioning look made me smile despite myself.
"can i come in?" she asked, stepping more fully into my line of vision.
"always," i murmured in reply, dropping my gaze to my lap.
she knows how to read me, she'll know what's going on.
not that there is anything wrong with that.
as i thought she would, my best friend of what must be almost two decades now came to sit next to me, smoothing out the fabric of her own gown - a gorgeous blue that she'd helped me pick out for the bridesmaid dresses.
"it's okay to be scared." she said after a moment, voice quiet in the otherwise still room. "it's not everyday you decide to give your life to someone else forever."
"thank you for that reminder," i grumbled halfheartedly, stomach rolling again because i can't do this but i can't dream of not doing this and--
"trust me," she murmured softly and i felt her hand on my back, rubbing a vague circle to try and calm me. "i've been in your shoes before."
"you wouldn't fit my shoes," i couldn't help but insert this somewhat witty comment, trying desperately to cover up my insecurity.
her laugh was quiet, but i could tell she's not distracted from the original subject. "you remember last time we were in this position but our roles were reversed, right?"
i mumbled an affirmative, recalling that time three years ago incredibly well, despite the time that had passed since.
"you thought i was nervous but trying to hide it and took it upon yourself to try and reassure me, remember?" there's amusement in her voice and i huffed in response to it. "what was it you told me again?"
"i just said that there was nothing to worry about because, in the movies, he's always just as nervous as she is, but you love each other and that'll make everything okay. even if you trip walking up the aisle, which you won't because you've got your big, buff daddy there to hold you up." i recited dutifully, then felt my ears heat. yes, i remembered every word of my nervous speech to my not-nervous best friend on her wedding day.
i had practiced it for days in advance, after all.
humor was back in her tone. "i haven't got anything like that for you, but maybe you should listen to your own advice."
"i'd rather hear yours," i murmured, finally glancing up at her and seeing the warmth in her dark eyes. "if you've got anything. if not, that's fine. i can totally come up with something on my own and --"
"hey," she stopped me with the quiet word, heading off my uneasy ramble before it got any further. "i have got something, if you're willing to hear it."
"always."
she nodded, studied me another moment, then said, "you love him, yes?"
a smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. "you actually want an answer to that?"
there's laughter in her eyes again but she didn't let it escape her. "you told me the day you met him that you'd fallen in love with his eyes and his smile. a year later you said you thought god might be trying to tell you something when it came to you and him because nothing ever felt so right when you were together. you two kept god right here all through your journey to this point," the words were spoken quietly as she touched a finger to where my heart lay. "and he never asked you to give each other up. i am of the opinion, that when god approves, you're in love, your parents have given their permission, and your friends are in total agreement, you've found the right guy."
i watched her quietly, always unsure of how to reply to her wisdom, but this time it seemed she had a bit more to say, saving me from the embarrassment of my own words a few minutes longer.
"so when your dad comes to that door in a few minutes," she continued at last. "i want to see your chin held high and a smile on your face because you are marrying the man you love. and i like to think that god is up there smiling somewhere because one of his precious children is getting married today and he could not be more proud of you."
words stuck to my throat and i couldn't speak for a moment. "you cannot make me cry right now because my sister put heavens-knows how much makeup on my face that has the potential to smear."
now she laughs, the sound quiet yet loud in the small room and i can't help but join her.
when our amusement dies down, i hug her, having to go up on tiptoe so i can rest my chin on her shoulder, arms tight around her "thank you," i whisper, emotion making my voice uneven. "thank you so much for everything."
"you're welcome," she whispers in reply, her embrace just as tight as mine is.
"there will still be an us after this," i say, drawing back enough to look at her face and seeing the tears in her eyes. "he and i will get back from the honeymoon and it'll be back to instant messaging everyday and random phone calls whenever we feel like it."
"maybe not everyday," humor is back on her face. "but often."
i let out a gusty sigh. "every other day, then. i can't live without you for that long, you know."
So, there you have it. I've always found that the art of writing without any capitalization to be a somewhat... special one, I suppose. It makes it feel more personal to me, somehow.
But anyways. I shall leave you to your day, while I got and watch North & South starring Richard Armitage, who many of you might know as Thorin from The Hobbit.
Many thanks, dear readers, for doing what you do best when it comes to this blog, and that is, reading, as one might expect. Have a lovely Sunday or Monday or whatever day it is when you read this.
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
Friday, March 22, 2013
A Writer on Pinterest
You know that awful moment when it's a Saturday morning and you're expecting to sleep in after a really long, really emotional day yesterday that had you in tears as you crawl into bed, and then it's 7:30 in the morning and you never wake up this early, let alone on a Saturday, but you're awake now and it's just... Sigh.
So, yes, it's 7:45 and while my headache from last night is gone, I really had wanted to sleep longer. Oh well.
For the focus of this post, Pinterest.
I believe that the majority of you already follow me on Pinterest, but I'm going to put this together for those who don't.
As any good writer on Pinterest does, I have a variety of story and character related boards to which I pin a good deal of pictures pertaining to the board's title.
I will provide a link to each board and a brief summary about what's entailed below. Please don't hesitate to follow through, even if you don't have Pinterest. (Though if you don't have Pinterest, you might consider it.)
Story Inspiration
I have three boards that all begin with "story". Story Inspiration is a collection of pins that provide me with inspiration for something to include in a story. That could be anything from a bunch of dragon pictures to a short quote that makes me go "Ooh, that'd be a fascinating line to spin a story off of."
Story Setting
As the title might suggest, Story Setting is all about the world in which a story might take place. The locations range from an artwork of an oriental palace in mountains to a digital rendering of a sci-fi style hotel room. Take your pick.
Story Style
This would be for those looking to outfit their heroes in anything from silver wire masquerade masks to a black bustle skirt from the Victorian era. This board is still a bit new and my eye is not particularly drawn to things of the accessory/clothing genre, so filling it is a work in progress.
Faces to Remember
When you're on Pinterest and going through people's story boards, you'll find that they have a penchant to save pictures of people who they find inspiring, and this is my take on that. All the faces to be found in this board are ones that I think would be interesting in a story, but have not yet found a home for. Ages range from adorable little Asian girls to an older woman with gray hair who has all the qualities of a mentor in her face.
Now, for the more personal boards, involving the characters I already have.
Characters
This is a stashing spot for the pictures I find that remind me of my characters. It doesn't always have to be spot on. Maybe it's his hair, or her expression, but it's a little conglomerate of things that make up the people inside my head. (Hint: If you wanted to have an idea of what Vivian looks like, here's your chance.)
Hints of Character
This board is very similar to Characters, but it's in words, songs, and poses instead. This song lyrics remind me of those two characters at this given time; that Mustang is one that I could see my character's brother fixing and then the character driving. Little things that make up the characters on the inside, instead of on the outside.
Profile: Sarris and Novarr Schaefe
This is a specialized board for my characters, Sarris and Novarr. It's a big mish-mash of Characters and Hints of Characters, just for the two of them. I also enjoy doing MBTI for my characters, so Novarr has a fair deal of ENTP pins. Sarris, on the other hand, shares her type with several other of my characters, and I have stuffed them all in another board that I'll share at the end. (Warning: Sarris has had a tough background, and a couple of the pins in this board reflect that. One is of bloody hands, the other uses the word "h*ll", so if you're not comfortable with either, consider skipping this board.)
Profile: Ruusan and Jaydn Schaefe
Technically, Ruusan has been both an Armstrong and a Vhander, but calling her a Schaefe was easiest, so I went with that. Like Sarris and Novarr's board, this is just a collection of pictures and quotes that remind me of these two sisters, although now it's extended to encompass the Deviant, so if something doesn't make sense, see if it has a "Deviant Ruu/Jade" note attached. If not, it may have a "Kidnapped Ruu" note, and that means the same as the deviant.
Profile: Ianthe and the Tribes
I believe I already shared this board when I posted about Ianthe a while back, but I'll share it again for any newcomers or happen-byers. This board is a bit more expansive than the last world, extended to include Ianthe's world and all the people and places in it. So there'll be pictures that remind me of characters or images of real life Arabian palaces, all in an attempt to capture the feel of that world.
Profile: Jasmine "Jaz" O'Haire
Not one of my largest boards ever, but this is a smattering of things that make me think of Jaz, who I've posted a couple of scrawls about. The majority of this board's contents are her MBTI type, which is ESTJ, but there are a handful of others things included as well.
MBTI Personality
And last but not least, my MBTI Personality board. This has a mix of various types that either hold meaning to me via friends or characters, or just interested me enough to repin them. If they are connected to a character, there will be a note at the bottom saying who it is. For instance, there are several ISTJ pins that are marked with Sarris, Jaydn, and Cameron, and more still of ISFP, which is a new character of mine, Leo Argon.
And with that, I think I've covered all my story-related boards on Pinterest. If you feel like delving into the bottomless pit that is the rest of my Pinterest, feel free, but don't expect to escape for some time.
Hopefully, you all found this quite interesting, or some such. Thanks for your time and I pray you all will be sleeping on Saturday morning, not writing blog posts, as I am.
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
So, yes, it's 7:45 and while my headache from last night is gone, I really had wanted to sleep longer. Oh well.
For the focus of this post, Pinterest.
I believe that the majority of you already follow me on Pinterest, but I'm going to put this together for those who don't.
As any good writer on Pinterest does, I have a variety of story and character related boards to which I pin a good deal of pictures pertaining to the board's title.
I will provide a link to each board and a brief summary about what's entailed below. Please don't hesitate to follow through, even if you don't have Pinterest. (Though if you don't have Pinterest, you might consider it.)
Story Inspiration
I have three boards that all begin with "story". Story Inspiration is a collection of pins that provide me with inspiration for something to include in a story. That could be anything from a bunch of dragon pictures to a short quote that makes me go "Ooh, that'd be a fascinating line to spin a story off of."
Story Setting
As the title might suggest, Story Setting is all about the world in which a story might take place. The locations range from an artwork of an oriental palace in mountains to a digital rendering of a sci-fi style hotel room. Take your pick.
Story Style
This would be for those looking to outfit their heroes in anything from silver wire masquerade masks to a black bustle skirt from the Victorian era. This board is still a bit new and my eye is not particularly drawn to things of the accessory/clothing genre, so filling it is a work in progress.
Faces to Remember
When you're on Pinterest and going through people's story boards, you'll find that they have a penchant to save pictures of people who they find inspiring, and this is my take on that. All the faces to be found in this board are ones that I think would be interesting in a story, but have not yet found a home for. Ages range from adorable little Asian girls to an older woman with gray hair who has all the qualities of a mentor in her face.
Now, for the more personal boards, involving the characters I already have.
Characters
This is a stashing spot for the pictures I find that remind me of my characters. It doesn't always have to be spot on. Maybe it's his hair, or her expression, but it's a little conglomerate of things that make up the people inside my head. (Hint: If you wanted to have an idea of what Vivian looks like, here's your chance.)
Hints of Character
This board is very similar to Characters, but it's in words, songs, and poses instead. This song lyrics remind me of those two characters at this given time; that Mustang is one that I could see my character's brother fixing and then the character driving. Little things that make up the characters on the inside, instead of on the outside.
Profile: Sarris and Novarr Schaefe
This is a specialized board for my characters, Sarris and Novarr. It's a big mish-mash of Characters and Hints of Characters, just for the two of them. I also enjoy doing MBTI for my characters, so Novarr has a fair deal of ENTP pins. Sarris, on the other hand, shares her type with several other of my characters, and I have stuffed them all in another board that I'll share at the end. (Warning: Sarris has had a tough background, and a couple of the pins in this board reflect that. One is of bloody hands, the other uses the word "h*ll", so if you're not comfortable with either, consider skipping this board.)
Profile: Ruusan and Jaydn Schaefe
Technically, Ruusan has been both an Armstrong and a Vhander, but calling her a Schaefe was easiest, so I went with that. Like Sarris and Novarr's board, this is just a collection of pictures and quotes that remind me of these two sisters, although now it's extended to encompass the Deviant, so if something doesn't make sense, see if it has a "Deviant Ruu/Jade" note attached. If not, it may have a "Kidnapped Ruu" note, and that means the same as the deviant.
Profile: Ianthe and the Tribes
I believe I already shared this board when I posted about Ianthe a while back, but I'll share it again for any newcomers or happen-byers. This board is a bit more expansive than the last world, extended to include Ianthe's world and all the people and places in it. So there'll be pictures that remind me of characters or images of real life Arabian palaces, all in an attempt to capture the feel of that world.
Profile: Jasmine "Jaz" O'Haire
Not one of my largest boards ever, but this is a smattering of things that make me think of Jaz, who I've posted a couple of scrawls about. The majority of this board's contents are her MBTI type, which is ESTJ, but there are a handful of others things included as well.
MBTI Personality
And last but not least, my MBTI Personality board. This has a mix of various types that either hold meaning to me via friends or characters, or just interested me enough to repin them. If they are connected to a character, there will be a note at the bottom saying who it is. For instance, there are several ISTJ pins that are marked with Sarris, Jaydn, and Cameron, and more still of ISFP, which is a new character of mine, Leo Argon.
And with that, I think I've covered all my story-related boards on Pinterest. If you feel like delving into the bottomless pit that is the rest of my Pinterest, feel free, but don't expect to escape for some time.
Hopefully, you all found this quite interesting, or some such. Thanks for your time and I pray you all will be sleeping on Saturday morning, not writing blog posts, as I am.
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Something I Said
Normally, I wouldn't promote my own maxims, because, to be honest, I kind of suck at giving advice.
But, in this instance, I am making an exception because I posted it a couple of times on the OYAN writing forum and several people said that they either really liked it or that they needed it that day.
"Don't be afraid to cry because it hurts, because you're in pain. Let it out. Let all of it out. Then pick yourself back up the next day and take another step forward. "
It's nothing huge, but I think it's important for people to know that it is okay to cry every once in a while. Crying is a way to release pent-up emotion and letting all that crud that's built up out will help to clear your head, allowing for a better mindset and focus.
At any rate, I hope you found this somewhat paltry, perhaps encouraging scrawl of mine to be interesting.
Thank you much for your time and feel free to leave your thoughts!
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
But, in this instance, I am making an exception because I posted it a couple of times on the OYAN writing forum and several people said that they either really liked it or that they needed it that day.
"Don't be afraid to cry because it hurts, because you're in pain. Let it out. Let all of it out. Then pick yourself back up the next day and take another step forward. "
It's nothing huge, but I think it's important for people to know that it is okay to cry every once in a while. Crying is a way to release pent-up emotion and letting all that crud that's built up out will help to clear your head, allowing for a better mindset and focus.
At any rate, I hope you found this somewhat paltry, perhaps encouraging scrawl of mine to be interesting.
Thank you much for your time and feel free to leave your thoughts!
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Writing: Deviant -- Jaydn's Resolve and Jase Drouais
As I promised, I am back after writing my email. I'm going to attempt to jam this all into one long post, but it might end up as two, and if it does, make sure to read part one (I'll edit the title if need be) then part two, or you'll be really discombobulated.
There isn't really a lot of explanation for these bits as they explain themselves pretty well. But for age reference, Jaydn is nineteen in the first bit, twenty-four in the second and third, twenty-five in the fourth, and twenty-eight in the fifth. Jase is within a year of her age, maybe a wee bit older, if you were curious.
Also, a non-serious warning that the notorious, stop-in-the-middle-of-a-tense-moment part of me struck in the fourth bit, and a serious WARNING for the mentioning of sensitive themes in the third bit in a bit more detail than my last Deviant Jade scrawl that I posted. So if you're skittish around that stuff, you might want to skip the third segment of this series of scrawls.
I think you all have figured out Gogamian fairly well by not, and if you haven't, well, I'm going to make you do the legwork. The most recent language reference is located in the last Deviant Jade scrawl I posted.
Jaydn leaned back against the couch, rubbing Merri's back absently while the two year old snoozed against her chest, as she’d been doing for the past half hour. A couple of feet away, Jhidek sat tinkering with her comlink that had been damaged which she and Imo had been on a mission two days prior.
She didn't hold out too much hope that he'd be able to fix it, but was willing to let him give it a shot before she just grabbed another one from their cache of replacement gear.
Stretched out on the couch behind her, Raina was absorbed with a book, the only thing truly capable of keeping her still for more than five minutes. The relative quiet was soothing to the nineteen-year-old.
Imo and Ha'imo had gone out to meet with one of Ha'imo's old hunter friends about a possible Gogamian threat an hour earlier. Jade had been more than glad to stay at home with her siblings, still low on energy and motivation to do much in the wake of the longer job she and Imo had been gone on up until the prior day.
Brown eyes were distant as she drifted through her thoughts even while she made sure to keep an eye on Jhidek so he wouldn't zap himself or cause the comm. to overload by accident. Merri shifted and Jade glanced down to see if she was awakening, but she resettled and the young woman smiled faintly.
There had been an ultimatum weighing on her mind for some time, since the pirates had found them and she'd been stabbed, but now Jade made up her mind.
No one else but them.
Jade didn’t delude herself. Imo and Ha’imo wouldn’t live forever. Time was a bitter foe mankind had fought for a millennia and lost to for just as long. If nothing happened to them sooner, it would take them both and she and her siblings would have to rely solely on each other. They’d watch out for and protect each other.
No one else but them.
She would never leave her siblings, not unless Death was the one who came and then she would fight against it with everything she had left to stay with them a little longer.
And Jade knows this means she will never have a family of her own. A new family means her priorities will have to shift. Her children would have to be protected as well, because this life is not one she will ever be able to leave behind and they would have to be shielded from that danger.
The hollowness at this thought is something she’s aware of. Her baby sister’s quiet breaths as she slumbers remind her of what this choice will mean for her, but she closes her heart off from it.
Jade knows that her parents will have a hard time accepting her decision and while she’s always wanted to do what makes them happy, her mind has been made up.
This is my decision, my choice, my resolve.
She watches Jay work, is aware of Raina behind her, and brushes her fingers over Merri’s soft cheek. Maybe one day she’ll be able to keep an eye on their children.
Auntie. Jade tests the word inwardly, and nods to herself.
~~*~~
Maybe it was because she was so tired, worked into the dirt and ready to be home again. Maybe it was the low lights, pounding music, and dancing people reminding her that she was still only twenty-four.
He didn’t belong there, in that setting, any more than she did.
The strobe lights that flashed across the bar area of the club brought out the stormy blue of his eyes, illuminated his midnight black hair.
Jade moved her gaze onwards before he noticed, watching the rest of the room while she waited for Imo to return from upstairs. He sat down two stools away and ordered something she didn’t hear the name of.
The glance was seen in her peripherals, lingering a beat too long to be cursory, not long enough to be interest, but the correct amount of time to make deductions, before his eyes moved on as well.
She wondered if he was as aware of her as she was of him, but it didn’t matter either way.
No one else but them. Her decision from five years earlier.
Another man approached on the other side of the stormy-eyed stranger. She caught the name uttered in greeting.
Jase.
Even if Jade hadn’t wanted it to, her acute mind committed it to memory, sealing away the storm blue, the raven black, the name Jase.
The newcomer sat down next to him and their voices were covered up by the bass that made the very air shiver as if alive. Her drink was cold in her hand. Non-alcoholic but high in caffeine.
It set her nerves on edge and that was fine.
The second man stayed for only a few minutes. Imo would be back soon. Jade didn’t look forward to the rain they’d had to trek through to get here. Istilanda was beautiful in the summer, but the winters brought constant downpours, although the temperature didn’t drop below fifty.
That much was a relief, at the very least. All the same, she’d just starting to dry out.
I miss Ha’imo… It’d been a long three days constantly on the move.
The beverage helps to calm her again.
He hasn’t moved. Jade doesn’t think it’s right to call him by his name without permission even in the privacy of her mind. That’s when she decides she’ll need to sleep at the first available opportunity. If Imo’s conversation pans out as they hope it will, they can go home.
Her eyes slipped shut as she leaned her arms against the bar.
“Jade.” Imo’s voice.
Did it carry?
The young woman straightened and rose, already having settled her bill with the bar-tender. Imo started walking and she followed, ready to be out of the club, away from the music, the people.
Whether he glanced after her she doesn’t know. Jade knew she wouldn’t see the man with the stormy blue eyes who didn’t belong again, and that was okay.
No one else but them.
And Imo probably wouldn’t have liked him anyways.
~~*~~
Jade lounged in her starfighter, finishing up with her calls to the various contacts and information hoarders she knew and could trust to keep their mouths shut.
That way, there was a low chance of either Imo or Ha’imo hearing about her researching, at least from them. They were already aware that something was up, but hadn’t asked yet and Jade wasn’t sure what she would say if they did ask.
There hadn’t been many search results in the public records for the name Jase, blue-grey eyes, and black hair; even less when she initially searched through solely Istilanda’s records.
Drouais, Jasen. Twenty-five years old. Parents deceased. Three siblings.
Istilanda’s ‘secure’ files listed him as an active bounty hunter. But Kahn’s secure profile on him was far more interesting.
Bounty hunter, yes, but also former assassin.
The calls Jade had put out to her contacts were to learn more about that time of his life.
They hadn’t known much. Vesper had said he was a loner, though mostly because K-Sec had him on a tight leash and there weren’t many hunters that wanted to work too closely with K-Sec. He’d done hard time for a few years, only for K-Sec to offer him a deal that would never have flown if put through the proper channels.
The scandal of it all was the gossip of the contacts who did know about Drouais, and even those who didn’t. They’d let him out of jail decades early and cleaned up his public profile in exchange for him doing some dirty work.
Even Jaydn, used to the sometimes illicit activities of governments, was a bit surprised by that turn of events.
She watched out of the hangar bay’s entrance at the stars, mind turning over the data she had collected.
It wasn’t matching up.
People would say assassin and she saw someone who pulled the trigger for money, who had a cold, feeling-less edge to everything they did, and there had been none of that in the man she’d seen at the club.
He’d had two kills, both on Istilanda, both in the city where he’d lived. One had been a high-profile crime syndicate boss and the other had been a senator whose corruption had run deeper than his pockets.
And those two targets had been too close while being too far away to be part of a paid job. So Jade looked into the possibility of personal motive.
It wasn’t because of his parents; his father had been Istilandan Police and had been killed during a raid on a completely different syndicate. From the sound of it, his mother hadn’t ever recovered from his loss and had succumbed to illness the year following.
Both the brothers were businessmen for an upright and reputable real estate company, with nothing fishy to be found within a hundred miles of either them or their bosses.
Which left the sister.
She’d looked over everything public records had on his family, though, and besides Jase’s activities, there was nothing to be concerned about.
Jade drummed her nails on the arm rest. I’m missing something. She reopened the file on the sister on the datapad in her lap, dark gaze narrowed in thought.
Drouais, Danica. Twenty years old. Her picture revealed a woman who could’ve been Jase’s twin.
Even if she hadn’t borne eyes that made Jaydn want to sit and just memorize the way they looked, she would’ve said Danica was stunning.
Her natural, breathtaking beauty brought a thought back to the forefront of Jade’s mind. That senator—
Scrolling back through the news report she’d found ten minutes prior, her suspicions were confirmed by the long list of crimes he’d committed that had only been discovered in the wake of his assassination.
Apparently, the dirt-bag had kept girls on his private estate for his sick pleasures and if Danica Drouais had fit his profile…
Jade had to shake her head as the pieces began to fall into place in the mental picture she had been constructing.
Raina leaned into their small hangar space at that moment, saying that Aunt Sarris and Uncle Novarr had arrived with Ruusan and Ha’imo wanted them to join them.
She acknowledged her sister’s call and swung from the cockpit of her starfighter.
Thoughts swirled through her, continuing to put the puzzle together, but she was fairly certain of one thing as she locked up the bay behind herself.
He’d been willing to give up his future with his family to protect his sister and probably his brothers as well by killing two men; Jade was still fitting the crime syndicate boss into the series of events, but was positive that he played an important part in everything that had occurred.
It might’ve been horrifying to other people, normal people, but Jaydn had killed her first man at six years old to protect her mother, and countless others in the seventeen years since in defense of her family. His actions, though extreme, were ones that she could relate to.
~~*~~
Her heart was pounding in her throat as she darted through the closing doors of the underground metro, making it with a moment to spare. A couple of people glanced up as the doors sealed shut and she leaned against them, taking in controlled breaths to bring her racing pulse back under control.
Jade wasn’t a fan of Kahn’s countless subterranean metro lines – affectionately called “the tube” by long-term residents of the planet – the enclosed space a bad one to be caught in.
The choice had been taken from her today though as she’d had to outmatch several pursuers. Speaking of which…
Retrieving her comlink from the inner pocket of her coat, Jade keyed a message to Imo, telling him they needed to rendezvous at an alternate location. He had Jhidek and Raina with him and while she wasn’t sure their meeting spot hadn’t been compromised, they couldn’t take that risk.
The comm. vibrated once to indicate her message had been sent and Jade went to study the map of the stations that was displayed on the wall, keeping an eye on the other occupants of the transit car.
It took a few moments to calculate a path to the second rendezvous point as she plotted a winding, backtracking trail through an upcoming hub of activity that would be bursting with people right now. Jade determined the station where she would switch lines then settled with her back to the rest of the car’s inhabitants to wait.
The tube itself was almost soundless, with only a faint whistling from outside to indicate the rapid speed at which they traveled. Inside, though, was alive with the quiet voices of the travelers, talking with each other and on their comms. The latter was practically unheard of on Uhric, with the majority of the planet’s inhabitants following an unspoken rule of politeness to refrain from conversations over comlink.
That was just one of several reasons why Jade preferred Uhric to Sinjaro Kahn, despite Kahn’s tolerance of bounty hunters coming and going.
A man entered the compartment through the connecting passages located at the ends of the cars, and Jaydn watched him in the reflection of the doors which she stood before. The tension in her shoulders loosened when he gave no sign of searching the faces of the other passengers.
There had been no way for her to ascertain whether her pursuers had made it onto the metro as well, and she wills the train to hurry and reach her destination.
Minutes seemed to crawl pass. Jade received confirmation from Imo about the change along with a bidding to be careful. That drew a brief smile from her.
Two stops came and went, and she was beginning to think that she’d managed to lose them at the station where she’d gotten on when a commotion at the other end of the car drew her attention.
The third one was nowhere to be seen, but the two older men were making their way through the compartment, their experienced gazes going over the inhabitants. Jade made sure her back was towards them, eyes flicking to the door, which had closed moments prior, sealing her into the tube until the next stop. But now there were several other passengers standing in the car, getting themselves settled.
She used them as a cover, making sure to keep her movements easy and sure. Nothing brought attention like slinking around. There was a call.
“Stop right there!”
Shak.
Jade kept moving, jamming her elbow into the locking mechanism for the door as she got to the other side. It wouldn’t keep them for long, but it would buy her enough time to pass through this car and get to the next.
Focus from years of similar situation kept her calm, her pace easy despite its length. Her pursuers had security uniforms on; if the rest of the passengers caught wind that she was their target, they would aid the false officers, and not herself.
Seven strides away from the next car. Jade would keep walking, slowing them with locked doors until the train stopped again and she could escape into the station.
I hate traveling on the tube.
This car had more people, with quite a few standing and holding onto the hanging handholds. She was almost to the next connecting door when a hand caught her arm and jerked her to a sudden halt.
Instinct burst through her that Jaydn had to quell to a simple, but tight, grip on the wrist of her assaulter – male, her mind informed –, her brown eyes flicking to where he stood near the wall on the left.
Stormy grey-blue met her gaze and her initial surprise gave him the edge he needed. Jade found herself towed out of the middle of the car, moved between Drouais and the curving wall of the train as there was an impatient banging against the transparasteel window in the access point she’d passed through moments earlier.
She had half a minute, tops, and her mind was blanking on what to do. She had yet to let go of his wrist, but he twisted out of her hold with a simple movement and caged her in with his arms.
Jade stopped breathing at his proximity, the sharp, clean, distinctly male smell that filled her senses. She flattened herself back against the wall. What are you trying to do? She wanted to ask, staring up at him, but she couldn’t trust her voice right now.
Drouais’ gaze narrowed, then he bent his head so his words came next to her ear, quiet but intense. “Play along if you don’t want to be caught, Vhander.”
Imo, what do I do?
Jade longed to be able to turn to one of her parents for help at that moment and instead had only herself to rely on to make the decision.
It was either him or her pursuers and right now, the ex-assassin that she’d seen once in a club was the better option. She glanced to the side at him, only seeing his ear and part of his jaw, and nodded once. Her forehead bumped into his shoulder with the short motion.
Jase Drouais slid his arm around her waist and pulled her against him. Jade felt fear rise up in her throat, tensing to attack him if she needed to. He pinched her and the message was clear. Relax.
While the young woman had never participated in this style of detection avoidance, she was aware of the theory behind it. Sometimes the best way to hide was in plain sight and Jase was offering – forcing? – her to take that route.
There was a hiss as the door slid open, almost undetectable, then the angry murmurs of the two men registered in her hearing and Jade knew she had moments.
Turning her head the other direction so they wouldn’t glance over and see her face, Jade leaned hesitatingly into the taller hunter whose frame seemed to envelop her. Arms. What did one do with their arms at this point?
Jase’ free hand moved down her shoulder to her elbow, pulling it up so one of her arms went around his waist. She mirrored that position with her other limb, clasping her fingers together at the small of his back and wondered if he could feel the faint tremble in them.
She was aware of how he pulled his unzipped coat forward to hide her away within it as well. The collar of it brushed her nose and Jade resisted the urge to wrinkle her features in response.
This is not what I had in mind when I wanted to learn more about him.
And Drouais had apparently done his research on her and Imo in return. Jaydn supposed whether that was a good thing or not would be determined in the next few minutes.
The young woman could hear them approaching, their boots falling heavily on the train’s patterned floor. The voice overhead began to announce the next station. And it was all overlaid with the steady beating of Jase’s heart beneath her ear.
He was shorter than Imo, and slimmer. Hugging him was strange and Jade didn’t know how she would ever explain this to the rest of her family if they found out.
Hopefully they wouldn’t though, because this didn’t matter. It couldn’t. Her jaw tightened a fraction. No one else but them.
The two men were closer. Jade squeezed her eyes shut, pressing her face closer to Jase, mentally planning a counter-offense if they discovered her. All it would take was one question to one of the other passengers who would’ve seen her coming through here. Unless they were particularly unobservant, they could blow the whistle on this deception in a moment.
The overhead called the name of the station again, approximating half a minute until arrival.
The heavy tread came nearer.
~~*~~
Jade sat on the beach, running her fingers through the sand as the salty breeze sifted through her loose hair.
The overcast skies allowed the choppy waves a gray hint to their blue depths, bringing similarly shaded eyes to her thoughts.
It had been years since their last encounter on Kahn in the metro, and she had heard little about him or his activity in the hunter world since.
Jaydn had told herself numerous times in that time that she didn’t want their paths to cross again, that she didn’t notice that shivering, tentative connection between the two of them, even though her subconscious had told her otherwise in many vivid ways.
A small family registered in her peripherals, strolling along the beach, nearer to where the ocean licked at the shore. The two children raced ahead, their bare feet kicking up sand and their laughter carrying on the wind.
Her brown gaze followed their progress, lost in thought, before she closed her eyes and just breathed in sea air, so different from anywhere else she had been.
All the planets that she’d seen after leaving Gogam eighteen years earlier were captivating, each in their own way, but some of them were more entrancing then others.
Istalanda was one of them, with its endless oceans and smooth sands that were so unlike the coarse grit found everywhere on Gogam’s rough surface.
The children’s excited calls drifted to meet her ears again, despite their having almost disappeared around a bend in the coast a few hundred feet to her left. Jade contemplated how much time she had until she needed to get moving. Her errand was successfully completed and Ha’imo wanted her back to accompany her on another job.
All in a day’s work…
A soft swish of a footfall in the sand caused her eyes to open again, going to the side to see who was approaching.
Somehow, Jaydn wasn’t surprised to see him standing there, stormy blue eyes considering her for a long moment.
Jase looked older than he had three years ago in the tube, and maybe a bit taller, but Jade supposed the time had worn a bit on her as well.
After a bit, she glanced to the empty space beside her. A silent invitation, and then she looked back out to the sea to try and calm the way her heart had sped its pace.
The other Hunter accepted wordlessly, dropping easily to sit at her side and he leaned back on his hands, seeming perfectly at ease where he was. Jade envied him that calm.
In the corner of her eye, she saw the wind toy with his hair like it did hers and the quiet reigned for several minutes longer. She was the one to break it, her arms looped loosely around her knees.
“Visiting your siblings?” It was a gamble, beginning with this, one that depended on just how clueless he believed she was.
There was a pause from the man before he replied. “…Just checking up on them.”
Jade was glad that he hadn’t severely underestimated how much she’d discovered. It would’ve been just about insulting, had she been one to take offense over such things, and anyways, didn’t they know each other better than that by now?
“Job?” Jase returned after a beat.
“Contact,” she corrected easily, taking in a quiet breath and wishing that this didn’t hurt quite so much.
“Aa…”
Jade had questions, and while she would’ve liked to ask them, she was very aware of the internal battle that was being fought over his very presence right now. She knew the effect Drouais had on her, but she also knew of her decision, made almost ten years prior that had never been threatened before she’d met him.
She had to know, though. The answer had been taunting her, remaining just out of reach due to a lack of insight. “The senator wanted her and that’s why you killed him. What part did the crime lord play?”
At first, Jaydn didn’t think Jase would answer, judging by the way he stilled.
But the Hunter spoke, slowly and with a subtle edge that Jade was mostly certain wasn’t directed at her.
“The senator hired him to kill my brothers and deliver Danica to his estate.” Short, succinct, but telling much. Kill only one, and there would’ve been the other to contend with later. Kill both and solve the problem. She nodded once. One of her theories had included this, but she hadn’t been able to find connections between the politician and the criminal to prove anything.
“I’ve heard about you and your family. For people relatively hard to find, you tend to stir up a lot of chatter.” Jase commented and Jaydn couldn’t decide if he was fishing for something or just saying it for the sake of saying it.
“Does that mean you’ve been looking?” Jade countered, her voice quiet as she turned her head so she could look at him and found that gaze that had haunted her for years already watching.
“Would it matter?”
Jade paused. Would it?
The reply that came to her immediately was a resounding ji. It wouldn’t because it couldn’t.
I won’t leave them alone in the years to come. Merri especially.
But the other part of herself that would take these brief respites on Istilanda and that could’ve sat and just stared at Jase’s eyes, trying to memorize the way they looked, wanted to say ey, yes, it would.
The struggle must’ve shown on her face because he sat up, slowly, carefully, with another faint swish of sand so that their gazes were level, the expression on his own features one of patience.
“…I can’t leave them alone, Jasen.” Jade said at last, addressing him by name for the first time and looking away in the same moment, back towards the waves that broke upon the beach. “My siblings. Merri is only eleven and with the life we lead, something could happen any day, to any of us. If something happens to—to our parents, I can’t have any other priorities but to protect them.”
Whatever his reaction was, she didn’t see it.
But she did hear his reply, the sincerity in his voice. “I understand.”
Jade frowned as he stood, but instead of leaving, held out a hand to help her up. After a hesitation, she took the offer and let him hoist her to her feet. His gaze was steady, looking into hers, as he released her and put his hands in his pockets.
“I would ask something, though,” Jase continued, watching her, now with a hint of guardedness.
Jade brushed the sand off her clothes and nodded for him to go on, even while she tried to guess what was going through his mind.
“That if these crop up,” he glanced around at their surroundings, the empty beach and the looming clouds, then back to her. “We keep them.”
Understanding dawned in her mind and Jaydn studied him, thinking through what the request might have to offer, what it would mean, and what that might end up doing to her.
Ji.
I can’t lead him on.
And so Jade shook her head once, choosing not to speak and letting the action speak for her.
His eyes – was she going to see them again after this? – were unreadable. Jade wondered if her decision had hurt him, because she could feel the hollowness in her chest growing.
Then Jase nodded and he was gone a moment later, pacing along the beach away from her.
She left as well, because Ha’imo was waiting for her and emotion was rising in her throat, choking and suffocating and she’d never felt this way before.
And thus ends Jase and Jaydn (sorry for the proximity of name spellings; not sure what possessed me when I named him that) for the next seven years. She's searching him out for all the kidnapping stuff though, for his expertise and experience in dealing with slave-traders and the such. Which is, of course, seven some years down the road.
At this point, I don't know if they're going to work out. They could, but they could just as easily not work out. This whole business with Ruu could either push her closer to him or cause her to draw even farther away. We'll have to see.
At any rate, I hope you found these interesting, and isn't baby Merri just so adorable? I'm ready to just steal her and cuddle her, myself.
Please feel free to leave a comment with feedback or if you need anything explained. I enjoy helping clear up the confusion I cause. Thank you for reading!
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
P.S. This is my fiftieth post already. Two landmarks in one day! You all are amazing for sticking around this long, honestly. Have an amazingly good day, everybody. *twinkle*
There isn't really a lot of explanation for these bits as they explain themselves pretty well. But for age reference, Jaydn is nineteen in the first bit, twenty-four in the second and third, twenty-five in the fourth, and twenty-eight in the fifth. Jase is within a year of her age, maybe a wee bit older, if you were curious.
Also, a non-serious warning that the notorious, stop-in-the-middle-of-a-tense-moment part of me struck in the fourth bit, and a serious WARNING for the mentioning of sensitive themes in the third bit in a bit more detail than my last Deviant Jade scrawl that I posted. So if you're skittish around that stuff, you might want to skip the third segment of this series of scrawls.
I think you all have figured out Gogamian fairly well by not, and if you haven't, well, I'm going to make you do the legwork. The most recent language reference is located in the last Deviant Jade scrawl I posted.
Jaydn leaned back against the couch, rubbing Merri's back absently while the two year old snoozed against her chest, as she’d been doing for the past half hour. A couple of feet away, Jhidek sat tinkering with her comlink that had been damaged which she and Imo had been on a mission two days prior.
She didn't hold out too much hope that he'd be able to fix it, but was willing to let him give it a shot before she just grabbed another one from their cache of replacement gear.
Stretched out on the couch behind her, Raina was absorbed with a book, the only thing truly capable of keeping her still for more than five minutes. The relative quiet was soothing to the nineteen-year-old.
Imo and Ha'imo had gone out to meet with one of Ha'imo's old hunter friends about a possible Gogamian threat an hour earlier. Jade had been more than glad to stay at home with her siblings, still low on energy and motivation to do much in the wake of the longer job she and Imo had been gone on up until the prior day.
Brown eyes were distant as she drifted through her thoughts even while she made sure to keep an eye on Jhidek so he wouldn't zap himself or cause the comm. to overload by accident. Merri shifted and Jade glanced down to see if she was awakening, but she resettled and the young woman smiled faintly.
There had been an ultimatum weighing on her mind for some time, since the pirates had found them and she'd been stabbed, but now Jade made up her mind.
No one else but them.
Jade didn’t delude herself. Imo and Ha’imo wouldn’t live forever. Time was a bitter foe mankind had fought for a millennia and lost to for just as long. If nothing happened to them sooner, it would take them both and she and her siblings would have to rely solely on each other. They’d watch out for and protect each other.
No one else but them.
She would never leave her siblings, not unless Death was the one who came and then she would fight against it with everything she had left to stay with them a little longer.
And Jade knows this means she will never have a family of her own. A new family means her priorities will have to shift. Her children would have to be protected as well, because this life is not one she will ever be able to leave behind and they would have to be shielded from that danger.
The hollowness at this thought is something she’s aware of. Her baby sister’s quiet breaths as she slumbers remind her of what this choice will mean for her, but she closes her heart off from it.
Jade knows that her parents will have a hard time accepting her decision and while she’s always wanted to do what makes them happy, her mind has been made up.
This is my decision, my choice, my resolve.
She watches Jay work, is aware of Raina behind her, and brushes her fingers over Merri’s soft cheek. Maybe one day she’ll be able to keep an eye on their children.
Auntie. Jade tests the word inwardly, and nods to herself.
~~*~~
Maybe it was because she was so tired, worked into the dirt and ready to be home again. Maybe it was the low lights, pounding music, and dancing people reminding her that she was still only twenty-four.
He didn’t belong there, in that setting, any more than she did.
The strobe lights that flashed across the bar area of the club brought out the stormy blue of his eyes, illuminated his midnight black hair.
Jade moved her gaze onwards before he noticed, watching the rest of the room while she waited for Imo to return from upstairs. He sat down two stools away and ordered something she didn’t hear the name of.
The glance was seen in her peripherals, lingering a beat too long to be cursory, not long enough to be interest, but the correct amount of time to make deductions, before his eyes moved on as well.
She wondered if he was as aware of her as she was of him, but it didn’t matter either way.
No one else but them. Her decision from five years earlier.
Another man approached on the other side of the stormy-eyed stranger. She caught the name uttered in greeting.
Jase.
Even if Jade hadn’t wanted it to, her acute mind committed it to memory, sealing away the storm blue, the raven black, the name Jase.
The newcomer sat down next to him and their voices were covered up by the bass that made the very air shiver as if alive. Her drink was cold in her hand. Non-alcoholic but high in caffeine.
It set her nerves on edge and that was fine.
The second man stayed for only a few minutes. Imo would be back soon. Jade didn’t look forward to the rain they’d had to trek through to get here. Istilanda was beautiful in the summer, but the winters brought constant downpours, although the temperature didn’t drop below fifty.
That much was a relief, at the very least. All the same, she’d just starting to dry out.
I miss Ha’imo… It’d been a long three days constantly on the move.
The beverage helps to calm her again.
He hasn’t moved. Jade doesn’t think it’s right to call him by his name without permission even in the privacy of her mind. That’s when she decides she’ll need to sleep at the first available opportunity. If Imo’s conversation pans out as they hope it will, they can go home.
Her eyes slipped shut as she leaned her arms against the bar.
“Jade.” Imo’s voice.
Did it carry?
The young woman straightened and rose, already having settled her bill with the bar-tender. Imo started walking and she followed, ready to be out of the club, away from the music, the people.
Whether he glanced after her she doesn’t know. Jade knew she wouldn’t see the man with the stormy blue eyes who didn’t belong again, and that was okay.
No one else but them.
And Imo probably wouldn’t have liked him anyways.
~~*~~
Jade lounged in her starfighter, finishing up with her calls to the various contacts and information hoarders she knew and could trust to keep their mouths shut.
That way, there was a low chance of either Imo or Ha’imo hearing about her researching, at least from them. They were already aware that something was up, but hadn’t asked yet and Jade wasn’t sure what she would say if they did ask.
There hadn’t been many search results in the public records for the name Jase, blue-grey eyes, and black hair; even less when she initially searched through solely Istilanda’s records.
Drouais, Jasen. Twenty-five years old. Parents deceased. Three siblings.
Istilanda’s ‘secure’ files listed him as an active bounty hunter. But Kahn’s secure profile on him was far more interesting.
Bounty hunter, yes, but also former assassin.
The calls Jade had put out to her contacts were to learn more about that time of his life.
They hadn’t known much. Vesper had said he was a loner, though mostly because K-Sec had him on a tight leash and there weren’t many hunters that wanted to work too closely with K-Sec. He’d done hard time for a few years, only for K-Sec to offer him a deal that would never have flown if put through the proper channels.
The scandal of it all was the gossip of the contacts who did know about Drouais, and even those who didn’t. They’d let him out of jail decades early and cleaned up his public profile in exchange for him doing some dirty work.
Even Jaydn, used to the sometimes illicit activities of governments, was a bit surprised by that turn of events.
She watched out of the hangar bay’s entrance at the stars, mind turning over the data she had collected.
It wasn’t matching up.
People would say assassin and she saw someone who pulled the trigger for money, who had a cold, feeling-less edge to everything they did, and there had been none of that in the man she’d seen at the club.
He’d had two kills, both on Istilanda, both in the city where he’d lived. One had been a high-profile crime syndicate boss and the other had been a senator whose corruption had run deeper than his pockets.
And those two targets had been too close while being too far away to be part of a paid job. So Jade looked into the possibility of personal motive.
It wasn’t because of his parents; his father had been Istilandan Police and had been killed during a raid on a completely different syndicate. From the sound of it, his mother hadn’t ever recovered from his loss and had succumbed to illness the year following.
Both the brothers were businessmen for an upright and reputable real estate company, with nothing fishy to be found within a hundred miles of either them or their bosses.
Which left the sister.
She’d looked over everything public records had on his family, though, and besides Jase’s activities, there was nothing to be concerned about.
Jade drummed her nails on the arm rest. I’m missing something. She reopened the file on the sister on the datapad in her lap, dark gaze narrowed in thought.
Drouais, Danica. Twenty years old. Her picture revealed a woman who could’ve been Jase’s twin.
Even if she hadn’t borne eyes that made Jaydn want to sit and just memorize the way they looked, she would’ve said Danica was stunning.
Her natural, breathtaking beauty brought a thought back to the forefront of Jade’s mind. That senator—
Scrolling back through the news report she’d found ten minutes prior, her suspicions were confirmed by the long list of crimes he’d committed that had only been discovered in the wake of his assassination.
Apparently, the dirt-bag had kept girls on his private estate for his sick pleasures and if Danica Drouais had fit his profile…
Jade had to shake her head as the pieces began to fall into place in the mental picture she had been constructing.
Raina leaned into their small hangar space at that moment, saying that Aunt Sarris and Uncle Novarr had arrived with Ruusan and Ha’imo wanted them to join them.
She acknowledged her sister’s call and swung from the cockpit of her starfighter.
Thoughts swirled through her, continuing to put the puzzle together, but she was fairly certain of one thing as she locked up the bay behind herself.
He’d been willing to give up his future with his family to protect his sister and probably his brothers as well by killing two men; Jade was still fitting the crime syndicate boss into the series of events, but was positive that he played an important part in everything that had occurred.
It might’ve been horrifying to other people, normal people, but Jaydn had killed her first man at six years old to protect her mother, and countless others in the seventeen years since in defense of her family. His actions, though extreme, were ones that she could relate to.
~~*~~
Her heart was pounding in her throat as she darted through the closing doors of the underground metro, making it with a moment to spare. A couple of people glanced up as the doors sealed shut and she leaned against them, taking in controlled breaths to bring her racing pulse back under control.
Jade wasn’t a fan of Kahn’s countless subterranean metro lines – affectionately called “the tube” by long-term residents of the planet – the enclosed space a bad one to be caught in.
The choice had been taken from her today though as she’d had to outmatch several pursuers. Speaking of which…
Retrieving her comlink from the inner pocket of her coat, Jade keyed a message to Imo, telling him they needed to rendezvous at an alternate location. He had Jhidek and Raina with him and while she wasn’t sure their meeting spot hadn’t been compromised, they couldn’t take that risk.
The comm. vibrated once to indicate her message had been sent and Jade went to study the map of the stations that was displayed on the wall, keeping an eye on the other occupants of the transit car.
It took a few moments to calculate a path to the second rendezvous point as she plotted a winding, backtracking trail through an upcoming hub of activity that would be bursting with people right now. Jade determined the station where she would switch lines then settled with her back to the rest of the car’s inhabitants to wait.
The tube itself was almost soundless, with only a faint whistling from outside to indicate the rapid speed at which they traveled. Inside, though, was alive with the quiet voices of the travelers, talking with each other and on their comms. The latter was practically unheard of on Uhric, with the majority of the planet’s inhabitants following an unspoken rule of politeness to refrain from conversations over comlink.
That was just one of several reasons why Jade preferred Uhric to Sinjaro Kahn, despite Kahn’s tolerance of bounty hunters coming and going.
A man entered the compartment through the connecting passages located at the ends of the cars, and Jaydn watched him in the reflection of the doors which she stood before. The tension in her shoulders loosened when he gave no sign of searching the faces of the other passengers.
There had been no way for her to ascertain whether her pursuers had made it onto the metro as well, and she wills the train to hurry and reach her destination.
Minutes seemed to crawl pass. Jade received confirmation from Imo about the change along with a bidding to be careful. That drew a brief smile from her.
Two stops came and went, and she was beginning to think that she’d managed to lose them at the station where she’d gotten on when a commotion at the other end of the car drew her attention.
The third one was nowhere to be seen, but the two older men were making their way through the compartment, their experienced gazes going over the inhabitants. Jade made sure her back was towards them, eyes flicking to the door, which had closed moments prior, sealing her into the tube until the next stop. But now there were several other passengers standing in the car, getting themselves settled.
She used them as a cover, making sure to keep her movements easy and sure. Nothing brought attention like slinking around. There was a call.
“Stop right there!”
Shak.
Jade kept moving, jamming her elbow into the locking mechanism for the door as she got to the other side. It wouldn’t keep them for long, but it would buy her enough time to pass through this car and get to the next.
Focus from years of similar situation kept her calm, her pace easy despite its length. Her pursuers had security uniforms on; if the rest of the passengers caught wind that she was their target, they would aid the false officers, and not herself.
Seven strides away from the next car. Jade would keep walking, slowing them with locked doors until the train stopped again and she could escape into the station.
I hate traveling on the tube.
This car had more people, with quite a few standing and holding onto the hanging handholds. She was almost to the next connecting door when a hand caught her arm and jerked her to a sudden halt.
Instinct burst through her that Jaydn had to quell to a simple, but tight, grip on the wrist of her assaulter – male, her mind informed –, her brown eyes flicking to where he stood near the wall on the left.
Stormy grey-blue met her gaze and her initial surprise gave him the edge he needed. Jade found herself towed out of the middle of the car, moved between Drouais and the curving wall of the train as there was an impatient banging against the transparasteel window in the access point she’d passed through moments earlier.
She had half a minute, tops, and her mind was blanking on what to do. She had yet to let go of his wrist, but he twisted out of her hold with a simple movement and caged her in with his arms.
Jade stopped breathing at his proximity, the sharp, clean, distinctly male smell that filled her senses. She flattened herself back against the wall. What are you trying to do? She wanted to ask, staring up at him, but she couldn’t trust her voice right now.
Drouais’ gaze narrowed, then he bent his head so his words came next to her ear, quiet but intense. “Play along if you don’t want to be caught, Vhander.”
Imo, what do I do?
Jade longed to be able to turn to one of her parents for help at that moment and instead had only herself to rely on to make the decision.
It was either him or her pursuers and right now, the ex-assassin that she’d seen once in a club was the better option. She glanced to the side at him, only seeing his ear and part of his jaw, and nodded once. Her forehead bumped into his shoulder with the short motion.
Jase Drouais slid his arm around her waist and pulled her against him. Jade felt fear rise up in her throat, tensing to attack him if she needed to. He pinched her and the message was clear. Relax.
While the young woman had never participated in this style of detection avoidance, she was aware of the theory behind it. Sometimes the best way to hide was in plain sight and Jase was offering – forcing? – her to take that route.
There was a hiss as the door slid open, almost undetectable, then the angry murmurs of the two men registered in her hearing and Jade knew she had moments.
Turning her head the other direction so they wouldn’t glance over and see her face, Jade leaned hesitatingly into the taller hunter whose frame seemed to envelop her. Arms. What did one do with their arms at this point?
Jase’ free hand moved down her shoulder to her elbow, pulling it up so one of her arms went around his waist. She mirrored that position with her other limb, clasping her fingers together at the small of his back and wondered if he could feel the faint tremble in them.
She was aware of how he pulled his unzipped coat forward to hide her away within it as well. The collar of it brushed her nose and Jade resisted the urge to wrinkle her features in response.
This is not what I had in mind when I wanted to learn more about him.
And Drouais had apparently done his research on her and Imo in return. Jaydn supposed whether that was a good thing or not would be determined in the next few minutes.
The young woman could hear them approaching, their boots falling heavily on the train’s patterned floor. The voice overhead began to announce the next station. And it was all overlaid with the steady beating of Jase’s heart beneath her ear.
He was shorter than Imo, and slimmer. Hugging him was strange and Jade didn’t know how she would ever explain this to the rest of her family if they found out.
Hopefully they wouldn’t though, because this didn’t matter. It couldn’t. Her jaw tightened a fraction. No one else but them.
The two men were closer. Jade squeezed her eyes shut, pressing her face closer to Jase, mentally planning a counter-offense if they discovered her. All it would take was one question to one of the other passengers who would’ve seen her coming through here. Unless they were particularly unobservant, they could blow the whistle on this deception in a moment.
The overhead called the name of the station again, approximating half a minute until arrival.
The heavy tread came nearer.
~~*~~
Jade sat on the beach, running her fingers through the sand as the salty breeze sifted through her loose hair.
The overcast skies allowed the choppy waves a gray hint to their blue depths, bringing similarly shaded eyes to her thoughts.
It had been years since their last encounter on Kahn in the metro, and she had heard little about him or his activity in the hunter world since.
Jaydn had told herself numerous times in that time that she didn’t want their paths to cross again, that she didn’t notice that shivering, tentative connection between the two of them, even though her subconscious had told her otherwise in many vivid ways.
A small family registered in her peripherals, strolling along the beach, nearer to where the ocean licked at the shore. The two children raced ahead, their bare feet kicking up sand and their laughter carrying on the wind.
Her brown gaze followed their progress, lost in thought, before she closed her eyes and just breathed in sea air, so different from anywhere else she had been.
All the planets that she’d seen after leaving Gogam eighteen years earlier were captivating, each in their own way, but some of them were more entrancing then others.
Istalanda was one of them, with its endless oceans and smooth sands that were so unlike the coarse grit found everywhere on Gogam’s rough surface.
The children’s excited calls drifted to meet her ears again, despite their having almost disappeared around a bend in the coast a few hundred feet to her left. Jade contemplated how much time she had until she needed to get moving. Her errand was successfully completed and Ha’imo wanted her back to accompany her on another job.
All in a day’s work…
A soft swish of a footfall in the sand caused her eyes to open again, going to the side to see who was approaching.
Somehow, Jaydn wasn’t surprised to see him standing there, stormy blue eyes considering her for a long moment.
Jase looked older than he had three years ago in the tube, and maybe a bit taller, but Jade supposed the time had worn a bit on her as well.
After a bit, she glanced to the empty space beside her. A silent invitation, and then she looked back out to the sea to try and calm the way her heart had sped its pace.
The other Hunter accepted wordlessly, dropping easily to sit at her side and he leaned back on his hands, seeming perfectly at ease where he was. Jade envied him that calm.
In the corner of her eye, she saw the wind toy with his hair like it did hers and the quiet reigned for several minutes longer. She was the one to break it, her arms looped loosely around her knees.
“Visiting your siblings?” It was a gamble, beginning with this, one that depended on just how clueless he believed she was.
There was a pause from the man before he replied. “…Just checking up on them.”
Jade was glad that he hadn’t severely underestimated how much she’d discovered. It would’ve been just about insulting, had she been one to take offense over such things, and anyways, didn’t they know each other better than that by now?
“Job?” Jase returned after a beat.
“Contact,” she corrected easily, taking in a quiet breath and wishing that this didn’t hurt quite so much.
“Aa…”
Jade had questions, and while she would’ve liked to ask them, she was very aware of the internal battle that was being fought over his very presence right now. She knew the effect Drouais had on her, but she also knew of her decision, made almost ten years prior that had never been threatened before she’d met him.
She had to know, though. The answer had been taunting her, remaining just out of reach due to a lack of insight. “The senator wanted her and that’s why you killed him. What part did the crime lord play?”
At first, Jaydn didn’t think Jase would answer, judging by the way he stilled.
But the Hunter spoke, slowly and with a subtle edge that Jade was mostly certain wasn’t directed at her.
“The senator hired him to kill my brothers and deliver Danica to his estate.” Short, succinct, but telling much. Kill only one, and there would’ve been the other to contend with later. Kill both and solve the problem. She nodded once. One of her theories had included this, but she hadn’t been able to find connections between the politician and the criminal to prove anything.
“I’ve heard about you and your family. For people relatively hard to find, you tend to stir up a lot of chatter.” Jase commented and Jaydn couldn’t decide if he was fishing for something or just saying it for the sake of saying it.
“Does that mean you’ve been looking?” Jade countered, her voice quiet as she turned her head so she could look at him and found that gaze that had haunted her for years already watching.
“Would it matter?”
Jade paused. Would it?
The reply that came to her immediately was a resounding ji. It wouldn’t because it couldn’t.
I won’t leave them alone in the years to come. Merri especially.
But the other part of herself that would take these brief respites on Istilanda and that could’ve sat and just stared at Jase’s eyes, trying to memorize the way they looked, wanted to say ey, yes, it would.
The struggle must’ve shown on her face because he sat up, slowly, carefully, with another faint swish of sand so that their gazes were level, the expression on his own features one of patience.
“…I can’t leave them alone, Jasen.” Jade said at last, addressing him by name for the first time and looking away in the same moment, back towards the waves that broke upon the beach. “My siblings. Merri is only eleven and with the life we lead, something could happen any day, to any of us. If something happens to—to our parents, I can’t have any other priorities but to protect them.”
Whatever his reaction was, she didn’t see it.
But she did hear his reply, the sincerity in his voice. “I understand.”
Jade frowned as he stood, but instead of leaving, held out a hand to help her up. After a hesitation, she took the offer and let him hoist her to her feet. His gaze was steady, looking into hers, as he released her and put his hands in his pockets.
“I would ask something, though,” Jase continued, watching her, now with a hint of guardedness.
Jade brushed the sand off her clothes and nodded for him to go on, even while she tried to guess what was going through his mind.
“That if these crop up,” he glanced around at their surroundings, the empty beach and the looming clouds, then back to her. “We keep them.”
Understanding dawned in her mind and Jaydn studied him, thinking through what the request might have to offer, what it would mean, and what that might end up doing to her.
Ji.
I can’t lead him on.
And so Jade shook her head once, choosing not to speak and letting the action speak for her.
His eyes – was she going to see them again after this? – were unreadable. Jade wondered if her decision had hurt him, because she could feel the hollowness in her chest growing.
Then Jase nodded and he was gone a moment later, pacing along the beach away from her.
She left as well, because Ha’imo was waiting for her and emotion was rising in her throat, choking and suffocating and she’d never felt this way before.
And thus ends Jase and Jaydn (sorry for the proximity of name spellings; not sure what possessed me when I named him that) for the next seven years. She's searching him out for all the kidnapping stuff though, for his expertise and experience in dealing with slave-traders and the such. Which is, of course, seven some years down the road.
At this point, I don't know if they're going to work out. They could, but they could just as easily not work out. This whole business with Ruu could either push her closer to him or cause her to draw even farther away. We'll have to see.
At any rate, I hope you found these interesting, and isn't baby Merri just so adorable? I'm ready to just steal her and cuddle her, myself.
Please feel free to leave a comment with feedback or if you need anything explained. I enjoy helping clear up the confusion I cause. Thank you for reading!
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
P.S. This is my fiftieth post already. Two landmarks in one day! You all are amazing for sticking around this long, honestly. Have an amazingly good day, everybody. *twinkle*
Writing: Original -- A Psycho from the Past (VOID)
I did not forget about the deviant Jade bits, don't worry, I just meant to put this before I went on to those ones.
The title explains most of what this bit is about. Original storyline Ruusan went back to Uhric with Connor, she and Jhidek's second child, after her mother was in an accident and ran into an old acquaintance who is a few fries short of a happy meal from her ERTP days.
Also, this scrawl -- or at least this version -- has been voided due to Jhidek's insistence that Ruusan take his younger brother, De'keth (fifteen or thereabouts, but a Vhander and thus not to be taken lightly) along with her.
I just thought it was an interesting look into some of the things Ruusan dealt with while she was an ERTP on Sinjaro Kahn, a borderline psychopath being one of them.
Ruu hummed to her son absently, glancing at the time on the spaceport’s display screen, the digits glowing blue in the warm morning light. Despite the hour – 0715 -- the port bustled with life.
There weren’t many families, the multitude being mostly made up of single business workers, suits almost seeming to glint in the sunlight. She sat in an otherwise empty row of seats near one of the large windows that gave an excellent view of Uhric’s capital city.
Their flight left in half an hour and she was ready to be home. After the past week with her parents, all that they’d talked about, Ruu felt drained. She wanted to be back with the rest with her family, to be able to actually see Jay as opposed to the visual communicator they’d been using for the past few days.
“Momma’s kind of pathetic without Daddy, isn’t she, sweetheart?” Ruusan murmured to the child who slept in the sling on her front, a bemused smile touching her features.
The hand that appeared on her shoulder made the woman jump because she hadn’t seen anyone in her vicinity for several minutes now, and the chances that anyone knew her here were slim.
A man swung into her vision and Ruu felt coldness wash through her.
“Ruusan! You haven’t changed in the slightest. Do you remember me?”
Delusional. Obsessive. Borderline psychotic.
She could remember every detail of the fateful day she got assigned the case that led to her save Patrick Wile’s life. He had scared her then and that hadn’t changed.
“Mr. Wile, what are you doing here?” Ruusan asked, telling herself to keep calm as she put her arms around her son protectively.
He took it badly if he knew you were unnerved by his presence. Don’t show fear. Remain serene.
“I came to get you!” The curly-haired man dropped into the seat at her side, resting his arms along the backs of the chairs. “They said I would find you here. I didn’t believe them at first, but now I do.”
"Mr. Wile, I’m leaving Uhric soon. I’m sorry, but I don’t have time to catch up right now.”
It was as if her words went right through him. Patrick leaned over to look at the child in the sling, and Ruu leaned away out of instinct, her guts clenching at the thought of this man being near Connor. Right now, every fiber in her being was telling her to get far, far away from this man and to not look back.
The frown that appeared on his face due to her shift away from him made Ruu’s pulse speed up with fear.
Stay calm.
“Don’t be like that, Ruusan. I’m not going to hurt you. I just can’t let you get on that flight, you see.” His tone was matter-of-fact but she knew that could change in a heartbeat.
She could still see his face from all those years ago, the way it had been pleasant and then turned so very black when something didn’t go as he wanted it to. Her team had been informed that he’d been put away in a care center. Obviously, that hadn’t worked out.
“I have a husband now, Mr. Wile. This is our son. If I don’t get home on this flight, he will come and find me and you won’t like how he will take your presence.” Ruu’s mind went to every other antagonist who had appeared in their lives and she badly wished this was one of those moments, when she’d look over and Jay would be standing there, ready to protect her again.
But he was light years away, at home with the girls and waiting for her to come home to him.
Patrick was unbothered by her words. “They said he was wrong for you, Ruusan; that he doesn’t take care of you like he should.”
Anger bubbled through her fear in a moment, rising to the surface and bringing sharp words with it. “Jhidek has never done anything other than take care of me, Patrick Wile. Talk about him like that again and you’ll regret it dearly.”
His easy posture didn’t change but he slanted her a hard look that made Ruu want to run.
So she decided to do just that.
Collecting her tote bag and pulling it onto her shoulder, Ruusan stood up and took hold of the handle of her rolling suitcase. The light metal was cool beneath her hand as she made sure Connor was situated before starting to walk away.
Patrick was on his feet in a moment, striding after her and grabbing her wrist to wrench her around to face him again. Ruu was unable to help the gasp of surprise and she twisted her hand, yanking it away from his tight grasp. She used both her arms to support her child who still slumbered despite the proceedings. It would have been humorous in any other situation.
“I can’t let you leave, Ruusan. They said, no matter what, you can’t leave Uhric.” His green gaze was pleading as he reached for her again.
The Norsha’acite took a step back to avoid his touch, her throat tight. She wanted to be done with all this. She wanted to be home, with Jay, and Vivi, and Ellora, and blast anyone who tried to stop her at this point.
I’m an ERTP and I’m a Vhander. I’m stronger than this.
Her voice was uncompromising. “I don’t care, Patrick Wile, what they told you. If you touch me again, there are a dozen security guards within shouting distance so don’t you dare take another step.”
It was strange to Ruu, playing this role. The strong one, the one who employed the threats.
Jhidek usually covered this bit when it was needed.
Patrick’s gaze hardened in a way that spelled disaster. His hand disappeared into his jacket and returned with a gun clearly designed for stealth and secrecy. The cameras would be unable to pick it up, at that size.
“You see, the problem now, Ruu—“
“Don’t call me that,” she interrupted before she could help herself, earning a dark look from Wile.
“Shut up. I’m talking now. Your turn is done. As I was saying, the problem is that I love you, and another man’s child doesn’t fit into that equation.”
Ruu stilled, heart racing with fear as it exploded through her. No, Lord, please, no. I can’t handle this. Please, Lord.
“I’m not the paramedic here, though. What do you think even a low-level stun round would do to a child his age, Ruusan?” The was a deceptive note of lightness that might’ve worked if the circumstances had been different.
If he hadn’t been talking about killing her son to force her into doing what he wanted. Because it would kill Connor. She knew too much about the effect weapons had on children to consider otherwise. She had too much experience to be able to think otherwise.
Ruusan’s hold on the baby sleeping against her chest tightened in an effort to protect him, at least in her mind. “He’s going to kill you, Patrick. You’re going to die if you don’t stop right now. So just leave us alone and maybe things will work out better for you.”
“But I’ve got friends, Ruu,” Patrick announced smugly. “Friends who can hide us away where no one will be able to find us! It’ll be perfect, I promise. You’ll love it. Away from all these people who—“
“No.” She bit out, taking an unsteady step backwards. “No. Patrick, no. I’m not leaving with you and even if you force me to, my husband will find me and then you’ll regret ever considering something like this, I can promise you that.”
“I don’t care about this husband of yours. He’s one man, while I have so many friends in the shadows who know how to hide things.”
“Jhidek Vhander specializes in finding things, as does his family and my parents too.” All her strength was bravado now. Trying to intimidate him into releasing her before any further harm could be done.
Patrick shot her a flat look. “We’re done here. You either come with me now, and your son might be okay, or you can continue to resist, and he won’t make it out of the spaceport. Am I making any sense here?”
Ruu wished her comm. weren’t buried at the bottom of her tote where she’d stuffed it in her hurry to leave that morning. She could feel the hot sting of tears at the corners of her eyes, but strove to ignore them.
Jay’s going to find us. He will. That’s what he’s good at. She repeated that to herself over and over as she took her suitcase by the handle and followed Patrick’s instructions, always aware of the weapon he still held discretely in one hand.
I may or may not like kidnapping Ruusan, although it never really got that far in the original while Penny and I were TGing, so it was probably an uneventful trip to and from Uhric with Connor and De'keth.
Now I shall move onto the Jade bits, although I may send an email first, so there will be a slight delay.
Thank you for reading!
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
The title explains most of what this bit is about. Original storyline Ruusan went back to Uhric with Connor, she and Jhidek's second child, after her mother was in an accident and ran into an old acquaintance who is a few fries short of a happy meal from her ERTP days.
Also, this scrawl -- or at least this version -- has been voided due to Jhidek's insistence that Ruusan take his younger brother, De'keth (fifteen or thereabouts, but a Vhander and thus not to be taken lightly) along with her.
I just thought it was an interesting look into some of the things Ruusan dealt with while she was an ERTP on Sinjaro Kahn, a borderline psychopath being one of them.
Ruu hummed to her son absently, glancing at the time on the spaceport’s display screen, the digits glowing blue in the warm morning light. Despite the hour – 0715 -- the port bustled with life.
There weren’t many families, the multitude being mostly made up of single business workers, suits almost seeming to glint in the sunlight. She sat in an otherwise empty row of seats near one of the large windows that gave an excellent view of Uhric’s capital city.
Their flight left in half an hour and she was ready to be home. After the past week with her parents, all that they’d talked about, Ruu felt drained. She wanted to be back with the rest with her family, to be able to actually see Jay as opposed to the visual communicator they’d been using for the past few days.
“Momma’s kind of pathetic without Daddy, isn’t she, sweetheart?” Ruusan murmured to the child who slept in the sling on her front, a bemused smile touching her features.
The hand that appeared on her shoulder made the woman jump because she hadn’t seen anyone in her vicinity for several minutes now, and the chances that anyone knew her here were slim.
A man swung into her vision and Ruu felt coldness wash through her.
“Ruusan! You haven’t changed in the slightest. Do you remember me?”
Delusional. Obsessive. Borderline psychotic.
She could remember every detail of the fateful day she got assigned the case that led to her save Patrick Wile’s life. He had scared her then and that hadn’t changed.
“Mr. Wile, what are you doing here?” Ruusan asked, telling herself to keep calm as she put her arms around her son protectively.
He took it badly if he knew you were unnerved by his presence. Don’t show fear. Remain serene.
“I came to get you!” The curly-haired man dropped into the seat at her side, resting his arms along the backs of the chairs. “They said I would find you here. I didn’t believe them at first, but now I do.”
"Mr. Wile, I’m leaving Uhric soon. I’m sorry, but I don’t have time to catch up right now.”
It was as if her words went right through him. Patrick leaned over to look at the child in the sling, and Ruu leaned away out of instinct, her guts clenching at the thought of this man being near Connor. Right now, every fiber in her being was telling her to get far, far away from this man and to not look back.
The frown that appeared on his face due to her shift away from him made Ruu’s pulse speed up with fear.
Stay calm.
“Don’t be like that, Ruusan. I’m not going to hurt you. I just can’t let you get on that flight, you see.” His tone was matter-of-fact but she knew that could change in a heartbeat.
She could still see his face from all those years ago, the way it had been pleasant and then turned so very black when something didn’t go as he wanted it to. Her team had been informed that he’d been put away in a care center. Obviously, that hadn’t worked out.
“I have a husband now, Mr. Wile. This is our son. If I don’t get home on this flight, he will come and find me and you won’t like how he will take your presence.” Ruu’s mind went to every other antagonist who had appeared in their lives and she badly wished this was one of those moments, when she’d look over and Jay would be standing there, ready to protect her again.
But he was light years away, at home with the girls and waiting for her to come home to him.
Patrick was unbothered by her words. “They said he was wrong for you, Ruusan; that he doesn’t take care of you like he should.”
Anger bubbled through her fear in a moment, rising to the surface and bringing sharp words with it. “Jhidek has never done anything other than take care of me, Patrick Wile. Talk about him like that again and you’ll regret it dearly.”
His easy posture didn’t change but he slanted her a hard look that made Ruu want to run.
So she decided to do just that.
Collecting her tote bag and pulling it onto her shoulder, Ruusan stood up and took hold of the handle of her rolling suitcase. The light metal was cool beneath her hand as she made sure Connor was situated before starting to walk away.
Patrick was on his feet in a moment, striding after her and grabbing her wrist to wrench her around to face him again. Ruu was unable to help the gasp of surprise and she twisted her hand, yanking it away from his tight grasp. She used both her arms to support her child who still slumbered despite the proceedings. It would have been humorous in any other situation.
“I can’t let you leave, Ruusan. They said, no matter what, you can’t leave Uhric.” His green gaze was pleading as he reached for her again.
The Norsha’acite took a step back to avoid his touch, her throat tight. She wanted to be done with all this. She wanted to be home, with Jay, and Vivi, and Ellora, and blast anyone who tried to stop her at this point.
I’m an ERTP and I’m a Vhander. I’m stronger than this.
Her voice was uncompromising. “I don’t care, Patrick Wile, what they told you. If you touch me again, there are a dozen security guards within shouting distance so don’t you dare take another step.”
It was strange to Ruu, playing this role. The strong one, the one who employed the threats.
Jhidek usually covered this bit when it was needed.
Patrick’s gaze hardened in a way that spelled disaster. His hand disappeared into his jacket and returned with a gun clearly designed for stealth and secrecy. The cameras would be unable to pick it up, at that size.
“You see, the problem now, Ruu—“
“Don’t call me that,” she interrupted before she could help herself, earning a dark look from Wile.
“Shut up. I’m talking now. Your turn is done. As I was saying, the problem is that I love you, and another man’s child doesn’t fit into that equation.”
Ruu stilled, heart racing with fear as it exploded through her. No, Lord, please, no. I can’t handle this. Please, Lord.
“I’m not the paramedic here, though. What do you think even a low-level stun round would do to a child his age, Ruusan?” The was a deceptive note of lightness that might’ve worked if the circumstances had been different.
If he hadn’t been talking about killing her son to force her into doing what he wanted. Because it would kill Connor. She knew too much about the effect weapons had on children to consider otherwise. She had too much experience to be able to think otherwise.
Ruusan’s hold on the baby sleeping against her chest tightened in an effort to protect him, at least in her mind. “He’s going to kill you, Patrick. You’re going to die if you don’t stop right now. So just leave us alone and maybe things will work out better for you.”
“But I’ve got friends, Ruu,” Patrick announced smugly. “Friends who can hide us away where no one will be able to find us! It’ll be perfect, I promise. You’ll love it. Away from all these people who—“
“No.” She bit out, taking an unsteady step backwards. “No. Patrick, no. I’m not leaving with you and even if you force me to, my husband will find me and then you’ll regret ever considering something like this, I can promise you that.”
“I don’t care about this husband of yours. He’s one man, while I have so many friends in the shadows who know how to hide things.”
“Jhidek Vhander specializes in finding things, as does his family and my parents too.” All her strength was bravado now. Trying to intimidate him into releasing her before any further harm could be done.
Patrick shot her a flat look. “We’re done here. You either come with me now, and your son might be okay, or you can continue to resist, and he won’t make it out of the spaceport. Am I making any sense here?”
Ruu wished her comm. weren’t buried at the bottom of her tote where she’d stuffed it in her hurry to leave that morning. She could feel the hot sting of tears at the corners of her eyes, but strove to ignore them.
Jay’s going to find us. He will. That’s what he’s good at. She repeated that to herself over and over as she took her suitcase by the handle and followed Patrick’s instructions, always aware of the weapon he still held discretely in one hand.
I may or may not like kidnapping Ruusan, although it never really got that far in the original while Penny and I were TGing, so it was probably an uneventful trip to and from Uhric with Connor and De'keth.
Now I shall move onto the Jade bits, although I may send an email first, so there will be a slight delay.
Thank you for reading!
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
Writing: Original -- Ruusan, Vivi, and Life
Honestly, half the time I don't even know how to title these things because the contents are so hard to define in a few words.
But, the three original Ruu bits I have decided aren't too awful to look at take place about ten months apart, although the last two will require a bit of explaining. As does this first one, I suppose, though it needs less than the others.
The first scrawl takes place about a year after Ruusan and Jhidek are married in the original storyline, putting Vivian at three years old, as you will read. I am contemplating not explaining the reasons behind Ruu's odd physical health until the very end of this post, so you smart readers who figure it out can congratulate yourselves on not needing to be told what was going on.
Actually, you know what, I'm going to hold on and let you guys see if you can work it out, just for kicks. Also, as a warning, this one's a bit on the old side and probably needs a bit of cleaning, but I'm not in a current mindset to do so, so you'll have to wade through the un-edited-ness. My apologies.
Ruusan puttered through the apartment, humming along with whatever was coming through the radio. Jhidek was off-planet working, so she and Vivian had been left to their own devices for a few days.
The three year old was caught up in an alphabet video, and her vocabulary had been expanding by the day. Ruu had been surprised though, that her daughter didn’t ask a hundred million questions, preferring to observe and learn for herself what something did.
She picked up a pair of socks and added them to the laundry basket on her hip, pausing to watch Vivi’s video for a moment.
The animated characters on the screen were in the midst of singing the alphabet song, and Vivian’s brow was lowered in concentration.
Ruu continued her foray for dirty clothing, getting the towels from the kitchen and bathrooms then went to the washer. She started a load, bent retrieve the dry clothes, and reached out to steady herself when she straightened. The world went black for a moment, and Ruusan hurriedly sat down, fighting a sudden bout of nausea.
Her heart pounded as she tried to control the urge to throw up.
Ruu worked to rationalize. We haven’t been anywhere; I haven’t been exposed to anything. So what’s going on?
When her stomach settled enough so she could stand again, Ruusan left the laundry and went on unsteady legs to sit on the couch near Vivian.
Her daughter’s green eyes turned her way when she came back into view. “What’s wrong, Mommy?”
“Mommy just feels funny,” Ruu said, smiling a bit to put the child’s worries to ease. “I’ll be okay in a minute.”
Vivian watched her for a moment, and then came over to sit beside her on the couch. She didn’t comment further, drawn in once more by her video, but Ruusan reached out to smooth her curls that were going wild.
After a few minutes, the nausea and dizziness faded entirely, leaving Ruu wondering what had happened as she contemplated returning to her work.
“When’s Daddy going to be home?” Vivian asked, looking away from her show.
The woman tucked the child close and kissed her forehead. “He said tomorrow, but we can watch for him tonight as well.”
“At bedtime?” Vivi checked, brow furrowing.
“Yes, at bedtime,” Ruu said, getting to her feet and carrying the child with her. “Are you hungry?”
Vivian thought for a minute, gaze returning to her movie and Ruusan knew she’d lost her.
“Alright, you stay here; I’ll scrounge up something to eat. Mommy’s starving all of a sudden.”
She went to the kitchen, and began to go through the fridge, looking for something that seemed at least remotely edible. The music of the alphabet movie shut off and Vivian appeared in the doorway.
“Vivi, does something smell funny to you?” Ruusan questioned, wrinkling her nose as she took a whiff of a Tupperware in the fridge.
“No,” the three year old said simply, coming in to sit on one of the stools.
“Huh.” Ruu murmured, frowning. “I think your father brought home something the other day and decided to share it, Viv.”
“Share what, Mommy?”
The blue-eyed woman smiled, and held out an orange to her daughter. “A bug, sweetheart. Mommy feels kind of off.”
“You said you were okay,” Vivian said, seeming put out.
She ruffled the mop of curls and picked out a couple of apples.
Alright. That is that. Feel free to leave a comment if you figured out what's up before I revealed it at the end. :P
Oh, crud... I just realized that the next two bits are going to spoil my surprise. How very frustrating. Oh well. Kudos to you if you figured it out before getting down to these next scrawls.
They take place, again, after about ten months, and in that time, several things happened. Namely, Jhidek being in an accident with a chemical (I think...) called tefloidite that caused him to go blind, followed promptly by the birth of his and Ruusan's first daughter, Ellora, the following day. There was a bunch of drama around all that as well, considering Ruu came pretty close to dying and such, but she was fine in the end.
It takes a month to locate a doctor who (Ha. Anyone else see that?) can fix Jay's eyes, and two days after that, he's already gotten a job. To say the least, Ruusan was not pleased over that, but he distracted her pretty well after allaying her fears.
These bits take place during the week that Jhidek is gone working, one mid-week, the other the day before her gets back, although they seem a bit disoriented, in that, the first doesn't seem to have any effect on the second.
You'll see what I mean. But, on their own, I rather like both the bits and I hope you will as well.
The darkness poured in then and she couldn’t see anything, could barely breathe, and this couldn’t be happening, not again, not to her, please Lord don’t do this to me.
Ruusan woke to more darkness interrupted only by a pale splotch that was her mother’s face. That was the only thing that saved her from panicking.
The sheets were tangled tight around her legs, and her heart was pounding from her dream; no, her nightmare. Definitely a nightmare.
Ruu drew in a shaking breath and croaked, “Momma...” She sat up with Sarris’ help that came in an arm across her shoulders.
“You were... crying, Ruu,” she replied, voice hushed in the stillness of the room as the Warrior drew a cool hand across the younger woman’s forehead.
“Did either of the girls wake up?” Ruusan asked, wiping the evidence of tears from her cheeks with a trembling hand.
Focus on the girls, don’t think about it, she told herself.
“No. Ellora almost did but she fell back asleep.” Sarris informed her, easing down onto the bed at her daughter’s side. “Do you need your comlink?”
The reminder of Jay brought tears back to Ruu’s eyes, but she blinked them away and shook her head. “No, I’ll be okay.”
Silence reigned for a long moment before Sarris murmured, “You were screaming, Ruu. It was like someone was killing you.”
Years of learning this woman, her mother, had taught Ruusan how to read the hidden emotions in her voice and on her face and right now there was a tinge of pain to her words. “I’m sorry, Mom,” she whispered, leaning into the Warrior. “It was a nightmare about Jay and... and Cameron too.”
The details of it felt like they’d been etched into her mind; the blood, the distorted scream of pain – not her own – and then the silence that had been the part to truly terrify her. He’d been motionless, not responding, then Cameron had been there – she’d known it was him from the moment he took her arm in hand – dragging her away. He’d pulled Jay’s arm around his shoulders, dragging him way into the darkness and he didn’t look back once.
Ruu didn’t remember screaming in the nightmare, but she must have. Her skin prickled and she shook her head to try and dislodge the memories. Sarris rubbed her upper arm, resting her chin on the top of her daughter's head.
Some of her bubbling fear slid away at the soothing touch, and Ruusan slumped against her mother, exhaustion pouring into her. “Sorry about this, Mom... you should be sleeping since your flight is tomorrow, not dealing with a nightmare.”
“It’s fine. I can sleep on the way home.” The Warrior said dismissively.
Did I mention Sarris visited? Calling her "the Warrior" is a reference to her being a Uhrician Elite Force Warrior, just as a reminder, and I'll go more into Ruu's nightmares after the next bit.
The apartment was dark and quiet, moonlight peeking through the shades over the windows. Ruusan lay on the couch with Ellora sleeping on her chest. Vivian had been asleep in her room for hours already and she had no wish to know what the time was now.
All that she needed to know was that it was late – or early - and even though she felt weariness weighing her eyelids down, Ruu didn’t want to get up and go back into the bedroom and the empty bed to be found there.
Ruusan studied the pale light that illuminated the living room, noting how much larger it felt right now and wishing it didn’t appear that way.
He’ll be home soon, the woman reassured herself, rubbing El’s back absently, unperturbed by the small puddle of drool staining the tank-top of her pajamas.
Jay had said he would be back tomorrow afternoon, so she just had to hold out until then, but it felt like the time between now and then was a month, not a matter of hours.
Her attempts to hide how much his absence had affected her this time from Vivian had failed rather dismally. The four-year-old could be more than observant at times, and Ruusan had already fielded a question of, “Are you sick, Mommy? You’ve got black things under your eyes.”
A quiet sigh escaped her as blue eyes went to the roof, contemplative.
As much as she missed him while he was gone, Ruu knew Jay was happy. With the device implanted into his eyes to help him see again, he was back to flying. And she was here with Vivian and Ellora, waiting for him to come home.
That was the way it was supposed to be, right? That was how it had been since the beginning, and that was how it would continue to be.
Ruusan laid an arm across her eyes, her other hand on Ellora’s back. I miss him more than I thought I would. I guess I just got used to having him around after El was born. Now though... It hurt.
A quiet breath left her. The first year of Vivian’s life had been like this, only ten times as worse. There'd only been a sleeping child and a bed devoid of a warmth she needed to be there during the heavy hours of night.
Ruu knew Jay was all right. He was out there, doing his job, doing what he loved. But when she would be just waking up in the mornings, still between sleep and awareness, and she’d reach out to find him... feeling that emptiness where he should be made her heart stop. Then she would wake fully, and remember that he was fine, just working, you don't have to be afraid.
And that is that. What doest you all think?
I mentioned explaining Ruusan's nightmares, so allow me to digress briefly on the matter. For some reason, after Cameron's death in the Original and after a rather difficult situation with a very close family friend in the Deviant, Ruusan is often subjected to nightmares when she has a lot of negative emotions swirling around inside her.
For instance, with the second bit, she'd been majorly worried about how Jay was doing, adjusting to his eyes being functional again while working at the same time, and that translated over very strongly into her dreams. She dreamed he'd died and that Cameron had dragged him away.
Also affecting her at that point were the similarities between that week and basically any point after Cam died, before she married Jay. Having a small child and waking up alone in a bed when she'd been expecting to find her husband there with her. The reminders of the devastating days following Cameron's death weighed really heavily on her mind.
And those are just a couple of emotions that her subconscious can be affected by; stress can get to her, feeling alone, even though she knows she's not, general worry over things occurring in her life, etc.
I find it, personally, to be a very interesting trait of hers. Thus far, it has cropped up more in the Original than in the Deviant, although I believe that, with all this kidnapping business, her four months completely cut off from her family and Jhidek in difficult conditions are going to have some pretty bad aftereffects on her mental state.
(I absolutely cannot wait. #sadisticwriter)
And, with that, I am finished with this post. Next, I want to do those Jaydn and Jase scrawls that I mentioned, although I can't decide whether or not to split them up into two different posts, because the bits are of some length and there are at least four of them, possibly five.
At any rate, I hope you've enjoyed this glimpse into another aspect of Ruusan and thank you for putting up with all this randomness! (And muchas gracias for reading, my amazing followers and random visitors. I adore you all to bits.)
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
P.S. This forgetful writer almost forgot to let you know what Ruu was suffering from in the first bit, although you all probably know due to the following two bits. It was that evening that, with a bit of help from Jay, Ruusan realized she was pregnant with their first child. It was all quite adorable, let me tell you.
But, the three original Ruu bits I have decided aren't too awful to look at take place about ten months apart, although the last two will require a bit of explaining. As does this first one, I suppose, though it needs less than the others.
The first scrawl takes place about a year after Ruusan and Jhidek are married in the original storyline, putting Vivian at three years old, as you will read. I am contemplating not explaining the reasons behind Ruu's odd physical health until the very end of this post, so you smart readers who figure it out can congratulate yourselves on not needing to be told what was going on.
Actually, you know what, I'm going to hold on and let you guys see if you can work it out, just for kicks. Also, as a warning, this one's a bit on the old side and probably needs a bit of cleaning, but I'm not in a current mindset to do so, so you'll have to wade through the un-edited-ness. My apologies.
Ruusan puttered through the apartment, humming along with whatever was coming through the radio. Jhidek was off-planet working, so she and Vivian had been left to their own devices for a few days.
The three year old was caught up in an alphabet video, and her vocabulary had been expanding by the day. Ruu had been surprised though, that her daughter didn’t ask a hundred million questions, preferring to observe and learn for herself what something did.
She picked up a pair of socks and added them to the laundry basket on her hip, pausing to watch Vivi’s video for a moment.
The animated characters on the screen were in the midst of singing the alphabet song, and Vivian’s brow was lowered in concentration.
Ruu continued her foray for dirty clothing, getting the towels from the kitchen and bathrooms then went to the washer. She started a load, bent retrieve the dry clothes, and reached out to steady herself when she straightened. The world went black for a moment, and Ruusan hurriedly sat down, fighting a sudden bout of nausea.
Her heart pounded as she tried to control the urge to throw up.
Ruu worked to rationalize. We haven’t been anywhere; I haven’t been exposed to anything. So what’s going on?
When her stomach settled enough so she could stand again, Ruusan left the laundry and went on unsteady legs to sit on the couch near Vivian.
Her daughter’s green eyes turned her way when she came back into view. “What’s wrong, Mommy?”
“Mommy just feels funny,” Ruu said, smiling a bit to put the child’s worries to ease. “I’ll be okay in a minute.”
Vivian watched her for a moment, and then came over to sit beside her on the couch. She didn’t comment further, drawn in once more by her video, but Ruusan reached out to smooth her curls that were going wild.
After a few minutes, the nausea and dizziness faded entirely, leaving Ruu wondering what had happened as she contemplated returning to her work.
“When’s Daddy going to be home?” Vivian asked, looking away from her show.
The woman tucked the child close and kissed her forehead. “He said tomorrow, but we can watch for him tonight as well.”
“At bedtime?” Vivi checked, brow furrowing.
“Yes, at bedtime,” Ruu said, getting to her feet and carrying the child with her. “Are you hungry?”
Vivian thought for a minute, gaze returning to her movie and Ruusan knew she’d lost her.
“Alright, you stay here; I’ll scrounge up something to eat. Mommy’s starving all of a sudden.”
She went to the kitchen, and began to go through the fridge, looking for something that seemed at least remotely edible. The music of the alphabet movie shut off and Vivian appeared in the doorway.
“Vivi, does something smell funny to you?” Ruusan questioned, wrinkling her nose as she took a whiff of a Tupperware in the fridge.
“No,” the three year old said simply, coming in to sit on one of the stools.
“Huh.” Ruu murmured, frowning. “I think your father brought home something the other day and decided to share it, Viv.”
“Share what, Mommy?”
The blue-eyed woman smiled, and held out an orange to her daughter. “A bug, sweetheart. Mommy feels kind of off.”
“You said you were okay,” Vivian said, seeming put out.
She ruffled the mop of curls and picked out a couple of apples.
Alright. That is that. Feel free to leave a comment if you figured out what's up before I revealed it at the end. :P
Oh, crud... I just realized that the next two bits are going to spoil my surprise. How very frustrating. Oh well. Kudos to you if you figured it out before getting down to these next scrawls.
They take place, again, after about ten months, and in that time, several things happened. Namely, Jhidek being in an accident with a chemical (I think...) called tefloidite that caused him to go blind, followed promptly by the birth of his and Ruusan's first daughter, Ellora, the following day. There was a bunch of drama around all that as well, considering Ruu came pretty close to dying and such, but she was fine in the end.
It takes a month to locate a doctor who (Ha. Anyone else see that?) can fix Jay's eyes, and two days after that, he's already gotten a job. To say the least, Ruusan was not pleased over that, but he distracted her pretty well after allaying her fears.
These bits take place during the week that Jhidek is gone working, one mid-week, the other the day before her gets back, although they seem a bit disoriented, in that, the first doesn't seem to have any effect on the second.
You'll see what I mean. But, on their own, I rather like both the bits and I hope you will as well.
The darkness poured in then and she couldn’t see anything, could barely breathe, and this couldn’t be happening, not again, not to her, please Lord don’t do this to me.
Ruusan woke to more darkness interrupted only by a pale splotch that was her mother’s face. That was the only thing that saved her from panicking.
The sheets were tangled tight around her legs, and her heart was pounding from her dream; no, her nightmare. Definitely a nightmare.
Ruu drew in a shaking breath and croaked, “Momma...” She sat up with Sarris’ help that came in an arm across her shoulders.
“You were... crying, Ruu,” she replied, voice hushed in the stillness of the room as the Warrior drew a cool hand across the younger woman’s forehead.
“Did either of the girls wake up?” Ruusan asked, wiping the evidence of tears from her cheeks with a trembling hand.
Focus on the girls, don’t think about it, she told herself.
“No. Ellora almost did but she fell back asleep.” Sarris informed her, easing down onto the bed at her daughter’s side. “Do you need your comlink?”
The reminder of Jay brought tears back to Ruu’s eyes, but she blinked them away and shook her head. “No, I’ll be okay.”
Silence reigned for a long moment before Sarris murmured, “You were screaming, Ruu. It was like someone was killing you.”
Years of learning this woman, her mother, had taught Ruusan how to read the hidden emotions in her voice and on her face and right now there was a tinge of pain to her words. “I’m sorry, Mom,” she whispered, leaning into the Warrior. “It was a nightmare about Jay and... and Cameron too.”
The details of it felt like they’d been etched into her mind; the blood, the distorted scream of pain – not her own – and then the silence that had been the part to truly terrify her. He’d been motionless, not responding, then Cameron had been there – she’d known it was him from the moment he took her arm in hand – dragging her away. He’d pulled Jay’s arm around his shoulders, dragging him way into the darkness and he didn’t look back once.
Ruu didn’t remember screaming in the nightmare, but she must have. Her skin prickled and she shook her head to try and dislodge the memories. Sarris rubbed her upper arm, resting her chin on the top of her daughter's head.
Some of her bubbling fear slid away at the soothing touch, and Ruusan slumped against her mother, exhaustion pouring into her. “Sorry about this, Mom... you should be sleeping since your flight is tomorrow, not dealing with a nightmare.”
“It’s fine. I can sleep on the way home.” The Warrior said dismissively.
Did I mention Sarris visited? Calling her "the Warrior" is a reference to her being a Uhrician Elite Force Warrior, just as a reminder, and I'll go more into Ruu's nightmares after the next bit.
The apartment was dark and quiet, moonlight peeking through the shades over the windows. Ruusan lay on the couch with Ellora sleeping on her chest. Vivian had been asleep in her room for hours already and she had no wish to know what the time was now.
All that she needed to know was that it was late – or early - and even though she felt weariness weighing her eyelids down, Ruu didn’t want to get up and go back into the bedroom and the empty bed to be found there.
Ruusan studied the pale light that illuminated the living room, noting how much larger it felt right now and wishing it didn’t appear that way.
He’ll be home soon, the woman reassured herself, rubbing El’s back absently, unperturbed by the small puddle of drool staining the tank-top of her pajamas.
Jay had said he would be back tomorrow afternoon, so she just had to hold out until then, but it felt like the time between now and then was a month, not a matter of hours.
Her attempts to hide how much his absence had affected her this time from Vivian had failed rather dismally. The four-year-old could be more than observant at times, and Ruusan had already fielded a question of, “Are you sick, Mommy? You’ve got black things under your eyes.”
A quiet sigh escaped her as blue eyes went to the roof, contemplative.
As much as she missed him while he was gone, Ruu knew Jay was happy. With the device implanted into his eyes to help him see again, he was back to flying. And she was here with Vivian and Ellora, waiting for him to come home.
That was the way it was supposed to be, right? That was how it had been since the beginning, and that was how it would continue to be.
Ruusan laid an arm across her eyes, her other hand on Ellora’s back. I miss him more than I thought I would. I guess I just got used to having him around after El was born. Now though... It hurt.
A quiet breath left her. The first year of Vivian’s life had been like this, only ten times as worse. There'd only been a sleeping child and a bed devoid of a warmth she needed to be there during the heavy hours of night.
Ruu knew Jay was all right. He was out there, doing his job, doing what he loved. But when she would be just waking up in the mornings, still between sleep and awareness, and she’d reach out to find him... feeling that emptiness where he should be made her heart stop. Then she would wake fully, and remember that he was fine, just working, you don't have to be afraid.
And that is that. What doest you all think?
I mentioned explaining Ruusan's nightmares, so allow me to digress briefly on the matter. For some reason, after Cameron's death in the Original and after a rather difficult situation with a very close family friend in the Deviant, Ruusan is often subjected to nightmares when she has a lot of negative emotions swirling around inside her.
For instance, with the second bit, she'd been majorly worried about how Jay was doing, adjusting to his eyes being functional again while working at the same time, and that translated over very strongly into her dreams. She dreamed he'd died and that Cameron had dragged him away.
Also affecting her at that point were the similarities between that week and basically any point after Cam died, before she married Jay. Having a small child and waking up alone in a bed when she'd been expecting to find her husband there with her. The reminders of the devastating days following Cameron's death weighed really heavily on her mind.
And those are just a couple of emotions that her subconscious can be affected by; stress can get to her, feeling alone, even though she knows she's not, general worry over things occurring in her life, etc.
I find it, personally, to be a very interesting trait of hers. Thus far, it has cropped up more in the Original than in the Deviant, although I believe that, with all this kidnapping business, her four months completely cut off from her family and Jhidek in difficult conditions are going to have some pretty bad aftereffects on her mental state.
(I absolutely cannot wait. #sadisticwriter)
And, with that, I am finished with this post. Next, I want to do those Jaydn and Jase scrawls that I mentioned, although I can't decide whether or not to split them up into two different posts, because the bits are of some length and there are at least four of them, possibly five.
At any rate, I hope you've enjoyed this glimpse into another aspect of Ruusan and thank you for putting up with all this randomness! (And muchas gracias for reading, my amazing followers and random visitors. I adore you all to bits.)
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
P.S. This forgetful writer almost forgot to let you know what Ruu was suffering from in the first bit, although you all probably know due to the following two bits. It was that evening that, with a bit of help from Jay, Ruusan realized she was pregnant with their first child. It was all quite adorable, let me tell you.
Writing: Deviant -- Jaydn on Ruu's Kidnapping
As the title suggests, I have kidnapped Ruusan by a band of slave-traders and this is a small glimpse into Jade's thoughts on it all a couple of months after she disappears.
I don't have a lot of lead-up to tell about it aside from that, when Ruu was kidnapped, she and Jhidek had been married maybe five months, six at the max. As one might expect, he is not taking her absence well, and that shows up in this bit with Jade.
Also, please take WARNING that there are some sensitive themes mentioned in this scrawl, and while they're nothing explicit, they're enough that it might make someone uncomfortable. So please be aware before you head on into this scribble of mine.
Gogamian Language Review:
Imo = father
Ha'imo = mother, or, literally, sub-father
Shak = a curse (don't try this at home, kids.)
Ji = no
With that, please enjoy and I will have more news down below.
Jade collapses onto the couch, exhaustion causing her head to ache and her limbs to feel weighted. She can’t recall the last time she’s had more than a couple hours of solid sleep. They’ve been on the go since two and a half months ago, constantly on the move, searching, questioning, following up leads, and breaking down the proverbial doors on more slave-trading rings than she cares to remember.
It’d taken them just a few weeks to run down any enemies in either their pasts or Aunt Sar and Uncle Novarr’s pasts that might still be alive and holding a grudge and because there had been no ransom demand, they can only assume that it means she’d been taken by a slave-trading operation.
Ordinarily, she might feel a quiet sense of pride over what they’ve accomplished in such a short time, how many syndicates and crime gangs they’ve brought down, but their goal was never the human trafficking.
Despite her weariness, Jaydn is aware of the helpless frustration churning inside her. There is nothing. No whispers. No crumbs. Nothing to lead them to Ruu.
Jay looks worse and gets quieter by the day and Jade wishes that they would just find something, anything at this point that will give him, and the rest of them, hope.
There’s been too much time to consider what may have befallen her, because although Ruusan is strong, she’s not strong in a way that will protect her from the malevolent side of this galaxy, and that’s what Jade’s truly afraid of.
Not that Ruu will be found dead, although that is her second greatest fear, but that she will be dead inside, a shell of her former self, broken down with her good heart crushed into dust.
She’s seen it before in the past, and countless times in these recent months. Women who have had everything taken from them. Bruised, beaten, abused, destroyed until there’s nothing left of who they were before.
Jade shifts onto her back, letting her arm fall over her eyes to block out the faint light from the rest of the room. Her mind is full of images she wishes she could erase and she makes her tensing form relax once more, although her fingers remain clenched into a fist.
That can’t happen to her; not to Ruu.
We just need one sign, one bread crumb to show us where to go. Everyone is looking, talking to their people. Aunt Sar is edging the line of abusing her authority as a grandmaster searching for Ruu and Uncle Nov disappears for days at a time to search.
We’re doing everything we can.
And it’s not. enough. She swallows back the emotion that tightens her throat, feeling hot water flood her eyes. What do we do, Imo? Ha’imo? I can’t bear seeing Jay like this. I can’t bear seeing any of us like this, but Jhidek especially.
Her brother’s pain drives her to the point of distraction sometimes, unable to fathom what it is he feels every time they come out with nothing again. Raina’s being affected by it as well. Shak, everyone is.
Jade sits up without warning and hastily sheds herself of her gear, dropping her weapons on the coffee table before she gets up to go to her room.
Shower. She needs a shower because otherwise she’s going to break down.
Ji. I can’t.
The door slides shut behind her and Jaydn goes about divesting herself of her clothes, stepping out of her boots, throwing her jacket on her bed, and she tries to ignore the fine tremble that’s setting into her hands.
The cold water is a shock to her system. Jade forces herself to remain under the icy rain from the showerhead, leaning her forehead against the wall.
Dear God… help us…
So that's pretty much the situation with Ruusan in the deviant storyline currently. I'd had one idea how things go down with Ruu while Jay and everyone else is looking for her, but my sisters got to me and I decided to take another path, one that will have far more serious repercussions on Ruusan.
It's all deliciously dramatic and just a wee bit angsty.
Just a little awkward, "Is she alright?", sadistic!writer moment there for you all.
News, news. Well, I hope to sit here on the computer and post several more various scribbles from different points in both the Deviant and Original storylines this evening while I am avoiding math and Latin.
Beyond that, I don't have any plans, but I do have a good-sized stack of randomness that I'd like to share with you, including deviant stuff including Jaydn and this hunter with stormy blue eyes who goes by the name Jase Drouais.
Unfortunately, the course of love (true love?) never did run smooth, as I am very fond of proving in my characters' love lives.
Ah well. They shall survive.
With that, I shall cease talking your ear off and go put together a few more posts for your perusal.
As always, thank you ever so much for reading! (And I hit 1000 views today, which is incredibly exciting, and I thank you all for that as well!)
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
I don't have a lot of lead-up to tell about it aside from that, when Ruu was kidnapped, she and Jhidek had been married maybe five months, six at the max. As one might expect, he is not taking her absence well, and that shows up in this bit with Jade.
Also, please take WARNING that there are some sensitive themes mentioned in this scrawl, and while they're nothing explicit, they're enough that it might make someone uncomfortable. So please be aware before you head on into this scribble of mine.
Gogamian Language Review:
Imo = father
Ha'imo = mother, or, literally, sub-father
Shak = a curse (don't try this at home, kids.)
Ji = no
With that, please enjoy and I will have more news down below.
Jade collapses onto the couch, exhaustion causing her head to ache and her limbs to feel weighted. She can’t recall the last time she’s had more than a couple hours of solid sleep. They’ve been on the go since two and a half months ago, constantly on the move, searching, questioning, following up leads, and breaking down the proverbial doors on more slave-trading rings than she cares to remember.
It’d taken them just a few weeks to run down any enemies in either their pasts or Aunt Sar and Uncle Novarr’s pasts that might still be alive and holding a grudge and because there had been no ransom demand, they can only assume that it means she’d been taken by a slave-trading operation.
Ordinarily, she might feel a quiet sense of pride over what they’ve accomplished in such a short time, how many syndicates and crime gangs they’ve brought down, but their goal was never the human trafficking.
Despite her weariness, Jaydn is aware of the helpless frustration churning inside her. There is nothing. No whispers. No crumbs. Nothing to lead them to Ruu.
Jay looks worse and gets quieter by the day and Jade wishes that they would just find something, anything at this point that will give him, and the rest of them, hope.
There’s been too much time to consider what may have befallen her, because although Ruusan is strong, she’s not strong in a way that will protect her from the malevolent side of this galaxy, and that’s what Jade’s truly afraid of.
Not that Ruu will be found dead, although that is her second greatest fear, but that she will be dead inside, a shell of her former self, broken down with her good heart crushed into dust.
She’s seen it before in the past, and countless times in these recent months. Women who have had everything taken from them. Bruised, beaten, abused, destroyed until there’s nothing left of who they were before.
Jade shifts onto her back, letting her arm fall over her eyes to block out the faint light from the rest of the room. Her mind is full of images she wishes she could erase and she makes her tensing form relax once more, although her fingers remain clenched into a fist.
That can’t happen to her; not to Ruu.
We just need one sign, one bread crumb to show us where to go. Everyone is looking, talking to their people. Aunt Sar is edging the line of abusing her authority as a grandmaster searching for Ruu and Uncle Nov disappears for days at a time to search.
We’re doing everything we can.
And it’s not. enough. She swallows back the emotion that tightens her throat, feeling hot water flood her eyes. What do we do, Imo? Ha’imo? I can’t bear seeing Jay like this. I can’t bear seeing any of us like this, but Jhidek especially.
Her brother’s pain drives her to the point of distraction sometimes, unable to fathom what it is he feels every time they come out with nothing again. Raina’s being affected by it as well. Shak, everyone is.
Jade sits up without warning and hastily sheds herself of her gear, dropping her weapons on the coffee table before she gets up to go to her room.
Shower. She needs a shower because otherwise she’s going to break down.
Ji. I can’t.
The door slides shut behind her and Jaydn goes about divesting herself of her clothes, stepping out of her boots, throwing her jacket on her bed, and she tries to ignore the fine tremble that’s setting into her hands.
The cold water is a shock to her system. Jade forces herself to remain under the icy rain from the showerhead, leaning her forehead against the wall.
Dear God… help us…
So that's pretty much the situation with Ruusan in the deviant storyline currently. I'd had one idea how things go down with Ruu while Jay and everyone else is looking for her, but my sisters got to me and I decided to take another path, one that will have far more serious repercussions on Ruusan.
It's all deliciously dramatic and just a wee bit angsty.
Just a little awkward, "Is she alright?", sadistic!writer moment there for you all.
News, news. Well, I hope to sit here on the computer and post several more various scribbles from different points in both the Deviant and Original storylines this evening while I am avoiding math and Latin.
Beyond that, I don't have any plans, but I do have a good-sized stack of randomness that I'd like to share with you, including deviant stuff including Jaydn and this hunter with stormy blue eyes who goes by the name Jase Drouais.
Unfortunately, the course of love (true love?) never did run smooth, as I am very fond of proving in my characters' love lives.
Ah well. They shall survive.
With that, I shall cease talking your ear off and go put together a few more posts for your perusal.
As always, thank you ever so much for reading! (And I hit 1000 views today, which is incredibly exciting, and I thank you all for that as well!)
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
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