Pages

Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Writing: Jaz + Fairytale AU

   This month went by in a blink, and next month is three times as busy, so it'll go by even faster, no doubt. My 20th birthday, a wedding, two separate trips out to Illinois, Christmas with our grandparents.

    Rest? Who needs rest?

    As the title might suggest, I put Jasmine in a dress. We saw Cinderella for the first time a few months ago and the rest was 3,419 words, as they say. 


    Jaz held her breath as she ducked her head to hide her face and slipped inside the palace with the rest of the attending footmen. The ball would continue for several hours and the hundreds of staff waiting for their lords and ladies would be left to fend for themselves in the meantime.
    The fear of being discovered was real. She was a woman in man’s clothing, in a place where she shouldn’t have been, with a plan that could have her thrown in prison. 
    Not that it mattered. Not of it mattered, in that moment. Bright eyes flicked to and fro as she eased through the edges of the crowd to the nearest exit. 
    This was her last chance. Last chance at getting away from the Windsor’s, from her beginnings, last chance to see him again. She’d said that day that she would never let some over-inflated fool with a wand dictate her future.
    She’d never been more wrong.
    The bindings around her chest to help her fit in were constraining, cutting off the lungful of air she tried to draw in. Her palms were sweating as she escaped the din and chatter of the footmen and into a connecting passageway. It wasn’t hard to tell where to go; the strains of the music reached even down here, in the depths of the royal residence.
    Urgency burned in her. Jaz glanced over her shoulder then moved forward with purpose. She’d pulled enough scams in her youth to know the best way to blend in was to make sure no one had reason to question your presence.
    With hundreds of well-to-do guests requiring food, drink, and entertainment, the palace’s staff would be running around like headless chickens to fulfill all the needs. She would be invisible as long as she didn’t stand out.
    Jaz reached up to make sure there were no auburn strands of hair escaping the tricorne hat that had been pulled over her hair. Adele had stabbed more pins than she’d thought possible into her hair to keep the unruly waves in check. 
    The woman stopped at a crossroads of halls as a passel of servants hurried past, laden with beverages and victuals. No one even glanced her way.
    Waiting until they were a safe distance away, Jasmine continued after them at a steady clip, stride long and shoulders back. On the outside, she would be just another of the household staff attending to an errand as long as no one looked too close.
    (Adele had made a point of pounding it into her head that if anyone decided to actually take in her face, “those long lashes and soft lips will give you away faster than if you’d paraded around in a dress.”)
    Inside, she trembled. It reached her fingertips and undermined her confidence. The fact that this moment would make or break her wasn’t of consequence anymore.
    The more steps she took behind her, the more she wanted to turn back. This pull, once caused by that magical bind, now propelled only by herself—please, I want to see him again—terrified her. 
    Sure, she’d been interested in guys before, done her share of flirting and offering coy smiles, but this was so different. She could—would—shatter over this, something that hadn’t happened since her father left her waiting in their ramshackle home.
    Jasmine kept moving as traffic began to pick up.
    Some people gave her a distracted look, but when she didn’t look back, continued on her path with single-minded determination, they didn’t pursue the curiosity.
    The long slacks Adele had acquired for her ruse were strange to wear now, after so long in dresses befitting of her age and position. Dresses, constraining corsets, pantaloons, slippers… 
    She almost missed them. If she was able to reach him tonight, she would be a social nightmare, dressed as a man.
    The palace was more sprawling than she’d been able to comprehend. Herds of servants became a trail that led her up countless stairs, around numerous corners, and through innumerable hallways, the signs of wealth growing with every floor they rose. 
    Soon, jade eyes blinked at golden candelabras that watched over well-tended wood floors and side tables of rich color and complex engravings. The dirt on her boots from the courtyard felt impudent by comparison. 
    The orchestra that presided over the festivities grew ever louder, the sweet strings and notable brass coming together in a harmony unlike one she’d ever heard. 
    Only the best in the land for his highness, after all…
    
//

    Years of living on the streets and fending for herself lent themselves to Jasmine as she threaded her way through the fringes of the crowd. A dance was taking up the entirety of the ballroom floor and much of the attention of those not joining in, with swinging skirts and clapping hands joining the vivid ambiance.
    She paused in a small nook between a statue of someone’s forebear and an ornate pillar to catch her breath and watch the proceedings. 
     Thus far, she hadn’t spotted him. The royal box housing his uncle and a couple of his cousins had been easy to locate, but it’d only taken a moment of studying to know he wasn’t there. Zahn and Matthias, although alike in appearance to him, were cunning where he was straightforward, scheming where he was honest.
    It showed in their postures and their movements, marked them even from a distance as not who she searched for.
    Please.
    That thrice cursed bind had dragged her by the ear to his very feet last time she’d been in the palace with the Windsor’s. Now, it abandoned her. Jaz’s fingers curled into fists, short nails digging into her palms. 
    She hated magic more than she had words to express. 
    Two laughing women passed in front of her hideaway, dresses long and full, the colors vibrant. She wished to be allowed to command the room as they did, to belong. To be worthy.
    But she wasn’t and never would be.
    It didn’t take a brilliant mind to know it and hers was sharper than most. 
    Taking a breath, building her resolve again, Jasmine stepped out and continued to traverse the room. Her gaze swept every face, focusing in on every dark head of hair she passed.
    Ten minutes turned into half an hour. Hope turned to bleak despair.
    He wasn’t here. 
    She went around the expansive room three times, risking exposure to drift further towards the epicenter, never lingering too long, but coming up empty all the same.
    Jaz had to bump a waiter and endanger his load to divert the attention of a young lord who eyed her with more attention than she wanted. Her distraction worked but the close shave reminded her that discovery would be easy for anyone with keen focus.
    Bowing out of the way of an older couple headed towards the nearest table of champagne flutes, Jaz found an exit from the press of people and slipped out the unassuming door into a well-lit, but empty corridor.
    She sank to the floor, back against the paneling, and pushed the hat and white-haired wig off her head. The cloth tied around her forehead, keeping her natural hair in check, was damp with sweat. 
    Moisture burned in her eyes that she blinked away, drawing in a shuddering breath that was nowhere near as full as she wanted it.
    Her fingers shook as she undid the cloth and started working pins from her hair. It didn’t make sense. None of it made sense. She’d seen the king, had seen Matthias and Zahn, the beautiful Annalise Vaughn who was rumored to be the bride of whichever nephew the king chose as his successor.
    But he wasn’t here. No whisper of his presence, only the lingering question on the lips of many a young woman about the missing Mason.
    Jaz curled in on herself, pressing her forehead into her knees. There was nothing left to do. Her every hope had rested on him being here tonight, where she could find him before he was removed from reach altogether.
    The announcement would be made in the morning of the king’s choice, the new heir’s fate sealed to the throne and a wife. There was not time between now and the wee hours of the morning when the party would disperse for her to search the sprawling palace for him, not being a foreigner to its winding halls. 
    
//

    Jasmine resisted the vice-like grip on her arm as the guard dragging her through the halls. Her auburn hair fell down in waves around her shoulders, telling any within sight of her deception. 
    “Get your hands off me!” She snarled, grief fueling her anger as she lashed out at the man. 
    The eyes turned on her at her words were hard, unmoved at her attempts to dislodge him. Her fingers dug into his thick doublet and made no impact on him. Jaz felt her breath catch in her throat, becoming aware of the vulnerability of her situation in a rush.
    “Listen and listen well, wench,” he ground out at last, dragging her nearer by the hold on her upper arm, his other gauntleted hand resting on the hilt of his longsword. His breath smelled stale. “You have entered the royal palace without invitation, in the appearance of a man, and refuse to explain yourself to me beyond more lies. And now you order me to unhand you?”
    The air felt too thin. Jasmine tried again to jerk away to no avail, desperation strangling her. Everything he said was true, but what was she supposed to tell him? That she was searching out one of the potential heirs to the throne to see if he would take her, despite her station and roots? 
    No. No, he would never believe that. 
    His gaze narrowed at her silence, then nodded once, as if his suspicions had been confirmed. He started walking again, dragging Jaz along in his trail as if she were no more than a wayward child.
    “Where are you taking me?” She bit out, voice tight and with lingering anger. Better anger than fear. Anger kept you alive and gave you a fighting chance, whereas fear just crippled. Jaz knew that better than most. 
    Strong fingers tightened around her arm, cutting off circulation to the rest of her limb even further. There would be bruises to explain, if she walked away from this. 
    No answer was forthcoming.
    They were going a way she wasn’t familiar with—not that such a route would be difficult to contrive, but they were also descending. The staircase, even at the back of the palace, was wide, spiraling down and made of polished mahogany.
     Jasmine had to hurry to keep from being dragged. The guard made no allowances for her shorter stature and moved with what she assumed was his normal pace.
    Her jade gaze drifted down to where the stairs ended in another corridor, this one lined with windows overlooking the sprawling gardens that were one of the palace’s many awe-inspiring features. And then stopped on a figure who looked to have been passing by, only to have stopped at the noise of their descent.
    Jaz tripped and would have fallen down the remainder of the steps if not for the painful hold the guard had on her arm. Her saving grace was that they were still hidden in shadow by the unlit stairwell. 
    He turned to snarl at her, having failed to spot what she had. “If I have to tell you to walk one more time, wench!”
    Jasmine refused to cringe, not this time—she’d taken a heavy-handed blow from the guard earlier and would not flinch in the face of another.
    “Captain.” His modulated voice cut in and the underlying command in it couldn’t be ignored.
    She wanted to run. This wasn’t how this was supposed to happen, with tears in her eyes and a bruise forming on her jaw, appearance disheveled, but when her captor’s attention turned to the man waiting for them, hers went with it.
    The silver embroidery on Renner’s formal jacket glimmered in the candlelight, his dark eyes unreadable. There was a sheathed ceremonial blade balanced in his hand. 
    Jasmine still remembered what it felt like to have those hands lingering on her arms, keeping her near.
    Finally catching up with who opposed him, the guard, retaining his grasp of her, executed a hasty bow. “Milord. I apologize for disturbing you.”
    “What are you doing, Captain?” Again, that tone that insisted on an answer, but with the subtlety of one in control of the situation, even if he was the only one who knew it. 
    “Escorting an intruder to the prison, milord. It’s nothing to fear, just a wench who wanted a little too badly to be part of the proceedings upstairs.” The abrupt change in character from threatening to easy confidence was not altogether surprising.
    Jaz felt her mind stopping and restarting, trailing after tangents, then pausing to consider the tingling that was spreading from her fingertips, and not because of the numbness of the guard’s grip. He was here. He was here.
    Ren.
    He hadn’t seen her yet, right? Surely he would say something, respond somehow. Please, don’t let this just be me.
    But his name caught in her throat, got stuck on her tongue as fear won out despite her best efforts. She wouldn’t survive seeing the rejection, or worse, the lack of recognition, on his face.
    There was no choice, in the end, of escaping without that final, shattering moment of confrontation.
    Not when the pain in her arm was getting unbearable and Renner bade the guard, “Bring her here.”
    Her socked feet, boots left behind in the corridor with other components of her disguise, slid off the steps as she stumbled to keep up as her captor hurried to follow his lord’s command.
    Jasmine knew that the candlelight would catch on every thick wave of her loose hair, illuminate her profile, bare her to him where the shadows had sheltered. Her gaze dropped to the ground as they reached the passageway, becoming level with the heir. Before any reaction could be had, the guard clamped a heavy hand down on her head to force her into a bow.
    “Forgive me, milord,” she whispered, squeezing jade green eyes shut. “I was—searching for someone dear. I meant no disrespect.”
    “Quiet, wench—“ the captain’s fingers dug into her scalp, yanking at her hair and it was impossible not to yelp even as she tried to dislodge him.
    Tears pricked again—when had she gotten so weepy?—as Jaz gritted her teeth and prepared to throw herself towards the man and catch him off guard.
    Instead, Renner’s order came like a blade formed from ice, frigid and forbidding, even as his boots sounded on the stone floors, drawing nearer. “Release her now, captain, and return to your post.”
    Both Jasmine and the guard stilled. Confusion and hope pounded at the back of her consciousness.
    She wasn’t expecting the over-powered shove that her captor gave her during the release part of Ren’s order, and she lost her balance, toppling to the side, head bouncing off the wall before she went down.
    “Milord—“ 
    The guard’s beginning explanation bounced in her ears, disjointed and far off. Vision swimming and with pricking pain on one side of her body and white hot pain on the other, Jasmine almost missed the lashing order as she gasped for breath against her chest bindings. 
    “Go, now. Your commander will be spoken to. Do not let me see your face again.” An abrupt end to the man’s military career was promised within the sharp commands.
    “Yes, milord.” The stiff note to his tone would’ve been funny if not for the way her body burned because of him. Heavy footsteps retreated and everything was still for an aching moment.
    She flinched when there was a clatter nearby; Renner’s sword being cast side. A cool hand brushed her cheek, pushing her hair aside and sliding behind her neck. It was impossible to say if the tremor to his touch was from her or was his own. 
    “Have you broken anything?” His voice was a low murmur, scarce more than a breath. The same yearning and agony that had swirled in her for weeks now was in those hoarse words.
    Jasmine forced air into her lungs, flailing her unimpeded arm to gain motor control over it again and then reaching up to find his wrist with her own hand, clinging tight. “Ren.” Speaking alone cost her dearly, setting back her efforts to regulate her breathing, but she had to. 
     “You will not be harmed again.” Renner whispered, fingers spasming under hers as his other hand joined the first in supporting her head from the other side. His thumb brushed across the aching spot on her jaw, fingertips lost in her hair.
    “I’m okay,” she managed, forcing her eyes open to look at him despite the fire burning in her head. His dark eyes were close, brow lowered and jaw tight with agitation. Despite her night straight from the gates of hades, Jaz smiled.
    Tears filled her gaze, unbidden, as she struggled to maintain her uneasy connection to consciousness. “I’ve missed you.”
    The heir and lord ducked his head down to press his forehead to hers, a harsh breath leaving him. “And I you. I was leaving to search for you when the guard—“
    Laughter bubbled in her chest, stemming in the relief that flooded her system, and then caught in her throat as her restricted lungs tried to meet the needs for air. Jaz’s fingers tightened around his wrist. “You found me. You found me.” The sweetness of it burst across her tongue, cascaded through her senses in a rush.
    “You found me,” Renner corrected, and she could hear how the anxiety had fled him as well in the simple remark. He was silent for a beat, and then, “You still struggle to breathe properly. What’s wrong?”
    Jasmine did not want to roll her eyes at him, but she was tempted. “I’m dressed as a man. My partner in crime helped too well in hiding my female assets.”
    The quiet lasted longer this time and she accepted to herself that she was going to have to cut herself out of the chest bindings soon, or black out when she wanted most to be aware. 
    Ren withdrew from her, shifting back, although his left hand remained splayed beside her head, keeping it from the stone floor. “If you’ll permit it, there is the apartment of one of my cousins within this section. You are welcome to borrow some of her things.”
    His proposition made her wilt with relief at the prospect of freedom. “I would be grateful.”

    Once the time-consuming task of escaping the confines of her disguise was completed, Jasmine bundled up her clothes and stuffed them under the bed. Renner’s cousin was almost a perfect match in size, just a deep breath in bigger. She checked her appearance in one of the many mirrors in the room, satisfied with the gray, unremarkable dress that she’d dug from the depths of the closet.
    Tugging her hair over her shoulder, Jaz took an extra moment to examine the purpling bruise on her jaw. It’d been a temptation to dab some of the face powder from the washroom on it. But she’d never been that vain and Renner was already aware of its extent. With no plans to linger at the palace, covering it up would be a waste of time.
    Jasmine stepped into the shoes she was borrowing then pushed her way out of the Mason woman’s bed chamber, gaze finding Ren a heartbeat later where he stood watching out a window, motionless.
    The magical bind that had been woven over them no longer trembled in her breast, insisting that she search for him with every beat of her heart. As if it knew that once Jaz had found him, she wouldn’t need it to draw them together anymore.
     Even if she would have willingly cursed the bind to the gates of hades and back, there was no denying what it had done for her.

    Renner turned before the thought could be completed. His attention dropped down to her changed attireand back up before a smile flitted at the corners of his mouth and he crossed the room towards her.


    Yeah, it's 85% complete. Better than usual, yes? These two shift in personality with every different AU that I do. Don't be surprised if more of said AU's continue to crop up, because I have more in the works.

    Ad astra per aspera.
    To the stars, through difficulties.

Friday, October 30, 2015

Writing: Flashes of Maeve

    I excel at scraping in at almost the last moment. Here's to hoping the habit does not become a lifetime trend.

    (Tell me if the Arial font works or if the Trebuchet is preferred. My writing is all done in Arial and I just realized that Blogger has it as a font option.)

    As the title might suggest, this is just going to be a short, blips post for Maeve Copeland/D'Araignes, from my side project Artifice. Right now, it's hard to recall if I've ever posted something of her before, though I likely have. She's one of the easier characters to write (it's all the angst in her story, probably) so I only have 16k words in my "maeve-samuele extra" document. 

    There are time skips. Unstated, but still present. And a small author's note, for giggles. The line of events aren't difficult to follow, with the selection of scrawls chosen for this post. But, all the same, drop me a line if something's unclear.


    Samuele was relieved when the councilman and his wife moved on. He appreciated the loyalty of his people, but it didn’t mean he enjoyed conversing with all of them at length. Especially Councilman Blake, who believed if he argued his points long enough, he would make a difference on a decision that had been made months past.
     It made his head pound.
     Left in peace for a few moments, he drained part of the bubbling liquor in his glass, savoring the tart sweetness of the champagne. As had been happened more and more frequently of late, his gaze meandered over the crowd, searching for a familiar figure.
    Yvonne had dressed Maeve in a swath of ocean-toned colors that made her stand out even in this large gathering of dignitaries and government figures. Dark hair tucked up behind her ear on one side, the rest left to hang in a wave of curls.
    The effect had been both enchanting and enticing in a way that still threw him off balance. 
    Spotting his wife across the room, Samuele watched as she nodded her farewell to a man he recognized to be a prominent lawyer—one of those who’d been invited out of necessity. If he’d had any say in the matter, Samuele would’ve left him off the guest list for the sole fact that he was known to be something of a rake. 
    Maeve moved away before anyone else could claim her attention. The champagne flute in her hand looked untouched from this distance and the crystals sewn into the fringes of her dress sparkled with her every moment. 
    She drifted to the bay windows lining the ball room, all closed tight for security, but still affording a generous view of the gardens outside. There was a near imperceptible slump to her shoulders before she realized that her posture had slipped and corrected herself.
    For a moment, Samuele wanted to go to Maeve and tell her that they could leave for home. He wanted to see that faint relief in her sapphire bright eyes and be able to tuck her hand into the crook of his arm and walk with her out to the car. To be able to get out of his tie and help her escape the confines of her dress and spend the remainder of the evening in bed with Maeve reading beside him.
    Even as the thoughts formed in his mind, he knew they couldn’t just leave. They had duties, a commitment to be here. Attempting to dismiss the thoughts from his mind, Lord D’Araignes returned to conversing with his guests, counting down the minutes of the following hour and a half until they could bow out.

//

    Samuele accessed his personal email, agitated but taking his seat anyways. Yvonne’s words had left a hollow pit in his gut that told him he would need the support of his chair.
    She—I received an email, my lord. Just now. Automated. She wanted me to tell you to check your email. Or—or someone else wanted her to tell you that.
    The reminder that she might have been taken, to be used against him, the most effective of threats—no one had stood in his way as he’d made tracks for his office.
    There was no need to ask himself why she might’ve sent word to her assistant about the communique. She knew how he was, that the last place he would be in these hours would be at his desk.
    But here he was, at her behest, and there was her name—Maeve, my Maeve—at the top of his inbox on an untitled email.
    He didn’t question the link within, didn’t stop to think what might be inside, just clicked on through and waited for the video to buffer.
    Maeve’s face blinked into existence on the computer screen. Samuele paused it to reach for the sound, glad he’d thought to close his office door before attending to this task. The last thing he wanted now was to be interrupted.
    The room behind her was unfamiliar until she shifted position and he could see that it was one of the studies buried deep within the palace. 
    It didn’t make sense. None of this made sense, and the ruler had to force down the near panic strangling him.
    She wasn’t being held hostage, she’d made this video herself, in secret, in their home. To send to him.
    “Samuele—Lord D’Araignes—I don’t know how I should address you, now.” Her blue eyes were watery even from the start, flickering away from the camera to check her surroundings. The video had been taken on her phone, or one gotten for this specific purpose.
    Her ragged breath came through the speakers for his monitor. 
    “There is no way to begin apologizing for what you’re about to know, my Lord. I should be gone almost a day, by now. I know that you’re ripping apart the country, looking for me.”  
    She paused.
    “Don’t look. You won’t find me.”
    “I was not kidnapped nor was I coerced. I left of my own free will, Sam—Lord D’Araignes.” Maeve bit her lip, glancing elsewhere again.
    Samuele forced his clenching fists to relax, but was unable to help the unnatural tightness of his frame, the tension building in him. The pit in his gut had deepened beyond imagination. Not you, Maeve. Please. 
    “Your minister of defense will have told you about a man named Iago. A powerful shadow that no one has been able to find. Iago made me into Maeve Copeland five years ago, Samuele. Iago pulled the strings so that I would be one of the candidates for you to marry. I’ve been one of his assets for the entirety of my adult life. Of my own will.” Her sapphire bright gaze was broken in a way he’d never witnessed before.
    Samuele recognized the shock in himself, in the way that what she was explaining wasn’t sinking in. Yet.
    On the video, Maeve stopped to collect herself in a way he was familiar with. That quiet pause while she gathered her thoughts. How much had she been able to cover up with that seemingly insignificant habit?
    “Samuele, you won’t believe a word I say from here on out, when you process all of this, but I have to say it anyways. I—love you. I love you, and I’m not supposed to. Iago knows and he will try kill you for it.
    “I will not let him. There’s—there’s someone who should help me. Even if not, I left to find Iago and end him. This is the most I can do to make this up to you. You’re going to make yourself believe that everything between us was a lie. I know you will.
    “But you have to know, Samuele. You have to know that it was an act at first, that I dreamed about what Iago would do to you, but not anymore. Not in a very long time. Iago did not order me to take that bullet for you. I was the one who told you that I loved you that morning at the beach house. Me. Maeve. Not Iago.
    He remembered that morning in aching clarity. The fear making his heart pound, expecting the worst, that she couldn’t handle his world, that she was leaving him. Only for the tears to fill her eyes as she told him she loved him.
    It hadn’t made sense then, why she had trembled in his arms as she’d whispered the words to him. Why her laugh when he didn’t turn her away had been on the verge of a sob.
    Now it did. Both their lives were forfeit because of it. 
    Maeve in the recording looked at her watch, drawing in a breath through parted lips that had been against his more times than he could count. Quirked in a quiet smile. Pressed together in annoyance. 
    Lying with every breath.
    “I have to meet you for dinner soon. Riza and Yvonne will be wondering where I am.” Her sapphire bright gaze returned to the camera, to him, weary, resolved, resigned. “You’re going to be angry with me, Samuele, and I deserve it. But don’t take it out on anyone else. Don’t hate yourself for loving me.
    There were seconds left. Samuele didn’t want it to end, didn’t want this to be real, to be true. Not her, not her, not her. All his life, he’d been taught to be wary of newcomers in his life, of those who might be out to deceive him. He could tell friend from foe within hours.
     And she had deceived them all.
    “This is goodbye, Samuele. ...My Samuele. I wish you knew how much there is I want to tell you. But there isn’t time and it won’t make a difference soon anyways. Just know this—I will do everything in my power to save your life and end Iago’s. My loyalty and devotion is yours, even if it kills me. And I love you.
    There was a space, a breath, a heartbeat of time where she was looking right at him, unguarded and open in a way he had only seen a handful of times.
    The video went black and Maeve was gone.
    
    When the anger and the betrayal overwhelmed, when the disbelief and heartbreak warred for dominance, Samuele D’Araignes had only one thing about his wife that he knew with certainty. 
    She was his.
    (Later, that would be all that mattered.)

//

(a.n. IT'S SO ANGSTY AND CLICHED I LOVE IT and i am so sorry)

//

    Maeve retook her seat in the battered leather chair, pulling her legs up to lean them against the armrest. Her eyes had returned to their vivid shade of blue, hair curling around her shoulders. It was shorter than before, but Riza had to fight through the emotion of seeing her Lady as she remembered her.
    And judging by the way Yvonne clasped her hands together until her knuckles turned white, the eddies of feeling were of similar strength for her as well.
    The silence held steady for what felt to Riza a lifetime.
    Maeve was the first to break it, first with a quiet breath, then, “What did you hear? About what happened.”
    Riza bit her lip. The D’Araignes family had attempted to keep it quiet. Sudden background problems brought to light that required the Lady’s absence for some time had been the cover story. But then the list had come in, forcing corrupt members of the government into the light, with Maeve Copeland among their number.
    Who had leaked it was still a mystery, but the media storm had raged for months. The royal family had closed ranks and refused to speak to the press about anything pertaining Maeve’s involvement in the matter.
    Yvonne gathered herself first. “There was uproar. The list you sent got into the hands of the media. You were the frontrunner of the government conspiracy. The only thing that tempered it was when news came in of other countries receiving similar lists.”
    A pained smile crossed the former Lady’s lips. “I had a feeling. I—was removed from the goings on of the world for a while and when I came back.” She shrugged. “The fallout held little appeal. It’s good, though. The people deserved to know the truth.”
     “And are you going to come back now?” The former fashion coordinator voiced what Riza was thinking, no inflection in her tone, just simple inquiry.
     Even three years later, even after the betrayal, it was still hard to break through that barrier of ruler and subordinate that had existed between them for an almost equal length of time. The many things she wished to say, had longed to say for so long, she couldn’t.

//

    In the end, the decision was taken from her hands.
    It was late, dark, when she walked home after a private, late evening lesson. Her thoughts were invested in both her work and what Yvonne had challenged her with the prior evening, scarce allowing her to take stock of her surroundings.
    She glanced back and forth before stepping into the road to cross to the mini mart, but the car’s headlights were off and the noise from a nearby nightclub covered up the churning of its motor.
    There was only a moment between noticing the vehicle veering towards her and the impact, during which she was able to process the relief that she hadn’t revealed her presence. That Samuele would not have to lose her all over again, in so much more of a horrific way.
    The crunch was sickening, the weightlessness disorienting, the landing the final blow.
    Maeve slipped away before the pain could register.

    The beeping was what woke her again. That steady, sharp beep... beep... beep indicating her heart still beat in her chest, still kept her alive.
    There was no tube down her throat, which was a relief. Her mouth was dry, her body numb. She had enough experience to know that wasn’t a good sign—there was no telling how much morphine was in her system right now, keeping the pain at bay.
    Letting that sift through her hazy thoughts, Maeve turned her attention to what she remembered. Her smiling student, still recuperating from a sprained ankle but longing to dance. Going home. The sound of her bones grinding together. Then black. And nothing.
    Careful to take shallow breaths, she let her eyes open a slit, relieved that the overhead lights were off. Her head was listed to the left, towards the entrance to the room. There was no familiar thickness on her eye—her contacts had been removed. No sunshine painted the sterile walls, which told her it was either late or very, very early.
    Her attention drifted. The curtain pulled across the window in the closed door. The silence. Then took in the state of her body, realizing her left leg was elevated in a swing, that her knee was bandaged and in a brace, immobilizing it.
    Maeve did not need a doctor to tell her that the damage was severe enough that she would never return to working at the dance studio—if she ever walked without support again.
    There was no agony or devastation over this realization, just a mild pang in her chest. She’d had so much ripped away from her during her life that this just went onto that list. Dancing had been rewarding, but not a true passion. She would just move to the next cover screen after she got out of the hospital.
     Drawing in a breath—and wincing when her body seemed to grind in protest, although she felt none of the pain of it—Maeve’s gaze continued on from her injuries, to the rest of the room. There was no light peeping around the heavy curtains, confirming her conclusion of it being night hours. 
    Then she caught a glimpse of black pants from her peripherals. And followed them up to a white, wrinkled button-up shirt. And then up to his face. 
    The morphine kept her from overreacting, from jerking, or even gasping. Her senses were too dulled for that, her mind too sluggish. Maeve wasn’t surprised, though. It wasn’t hard to draw the lines, to connect Yvonne to this.
    She let out a long, slow sigh, letting her head settle in his direction. 
    Samuele hadn’t changed much. Three years, and all he had to show for it was a shorter haircut and a few more lines creasing his face. The dark circles beneath his eyes told her he’d slept badly for the last several days, which was probably why he was able to sleep like the dead in a hospital chair with his head leaning back against the wall.


    And because I'm so nice and generous and totally not awful at writing and posting that writing, here's a short Jaz/Renner AU that I did.... in space.


    He was one of the only commanders on the protection force for one of the most prominent planets in the system with a spotless record and she was the best smuggler and scammer this side of the Icarian Belt, neither facts which mattered all that much currently. 
    “I cannot believe that I am stuck in jail for a week with you,” Jasmine groaned, cursing her luck and for thinking she could get away with skirting in Xitar’s space lanes without prior authorization. 
    The only bright side of the ordeal was that she’d dropped off her illicit cargo before her infraction, and would only be in the slammer seven days, instead of the far heftier sentence that was attached to contraband trafficking.
    Her silent companion, Renner Mason, did not voice his agreement with her statement, instead contemplating the apoplectic fit that his superior in the force and his father would have when they realized he’d put a mark on his whitewashed career chasing a mere smuggler. Though the spark to her direct gaze and the knowing curve of her smirk at times made him think maybe she was worth the smear in his record to spend a week in her company, waiting for her to slip up about herself. 
    The woman let out a long, drawn out sigh, turning her head  to eye the man across the cell from her with a critical eye. After a moment, O’Haire remarked in a dead serious tone, “You’re a lot hotter than your cousin made you out to be.”
    Ren closed his eyes and searched for the hard-earned patience that he’d cultivated for most of his life. Forget any opportunities the occasion might present. 

    This was going to be a week from hell.


    They make me giggle. A lot. 

    So that's about it that's worth anyone's while. Moving across the United States and driving 5,400+ miles really takes it out of me.

    As a general announcement, I have no NaNoWriMo plans this years, unless I come down with scarlet fever in the next twenty four hours and have delusions of grandeur, in which case, someone stop me. There's more important stuff to be done this month then putting 50k towards an unknown project, which, as my cousin said today, "that's impossible". Or something to that effect. It is a lot of words.

    But, I might have something new out eventually; a couple of posts of pictures from our roadtrip. Did anyone know that Montana is a freaking beautiful state? Yeah. Also, I got some shots of the Air Force Academy Chapel while we were visiting that I'm going to share.

    And... that's about it. For the moment. Life's crazy. The usual. Shoutout to anyone who actually read all of this and is still even reading this blog. You're amazing.

    Thanks, peeps.

    Ad astra per aspera.
    To the stars, through difficulty.

Monday, September 28, 2015

Writing: "waiting & hoping"

    My friends, it has been some time since my last post, but it is not yet October, and thus, I have not yet exceeded my own deadline. 

    I've got an medium aged piece of writing today. Scrawled it down back when I read a bunch of military Dee Henderson books and came away with the following piece. 



    Early morning hour and the peace that came with it.
    Warm sunlight creeping in across the tiled kitchen floor.
    Quiet rustle of the pages of her Bible.
    Shadow’s heaved sigh and Troxie’s foot jerking in response to his dream.
    The scent of her coffee drifting to her from the overlarge mug she’d taken to using.
    Mandy pulled her knee up to rest her chin on it, blue gaze drifting from her morning journaling to the backyard and the ocean, visible on the horizon as the hill dropped away.
    It’d slipped her mind to not watch CNN before bed, again, and she’d sat through a lengthy late night report about a series of IED attacks in Afghanistan. She’d woken up at two o’clock after a nightmare.
    Sleep hadn’t returned, even though she knew that wasn’t where Sam was deployed to. Or at least, was fairly certain. The whereabouts of his unit was restricted information.
    A subdued breath left her. Mandy rubbed the back of her neck, sitting back and reaching for her coffee. The black mug with the Marine Core insignia on it she’d stolen from Sam’s cupboards last month was too large for her hands, but she found an odd safety in that fact. It made her feel like he was closer than a world and an ocean away.
    Shifting around, the woman checked the time on the stove. Almost 0600. Shadow and Troxie would be stirring from their slumber on the kitchen floor soon—protective instincts kept them near her, especially after an irregular night—and would be expecting the morning jog she’d kept as a habit even after retiring from the Air Force.
    It was Saturday, which meant escaping her thoughts at work was off the table. No overtime pay and while she enjoyed her work, being locked deep in a basement behind multiple dead-bolted doors made her a wee bit claustrophobic.
    There was work to be done today, anyways. Claire’s husband was coming home next week as well, and between a toddler and being seven months pregnant, the spring cleaning she wanted to get done before his homecoming wasn’t happening. The request for help had come up in the weekly Bible study Mandy went to and she’d volunteered, badly needing a chance to burn off her own nervous energy.
    Mandy reached for the letter from her sister that had come in the mail a handful of days prior. It’d been tucked in the pages of her well-worn Bible since, reread a number of times. The news it carried had left a pit in her stomach.
    “It’s the most amazing thing, Dee. Jeff proposed to me tonight. I probably won’t sleep for a week. The ring is gorgeous and he wants to be married no later than next summer!
    Oh, Meg...
    The pain that squeezed in her chest was familiar. Mandy was well-accustomed to its presence, after two years of feeling it. She dreaded having to tell Sam about this letter. He deserved to know its contents, but she didn’t want to be the one to deliver the news. It’s not fair that this happened to him, Lord.
    The German Shepherd sprawled on the ground behind her roused with a clank of ID tags and a sneeze. Shadow heaved himself up and plodded to her, resting his head on her thigh and staring up at her, pleading.
    With a watery laugh, blinking away the tears that had risen to the surface unbidden, Mandy leaned down to press a kiss to his furry head, scratching behind his ear. She would miss having the Shepherd around the house when Sam came home and took him back.
    “Maybe your daddy will get his head out of the hole he’s buried it in while he’s dry-docked,” she remarked with one last pat before pushing the dog away so she could get up.
    Shadow moved to give her space and stepped over the top of Troxie, whacking the Retriever on his way and awakening her dog as well.
    She checked the time. 0600. Time to get moving.
    Draining the last of her coffee, Mandy headed to change into her running clothes. There’d been more than enough contemplation of the entire subject for one morning, and although she could feel it still pressuring at the back of her thoughts, she needed to get moving.
    The weight of it did cause her to pen down a memo to call Mrs. McIntyre and see if they could meet for lunch early next week. The older woman was her confidante of recent years, offering the level-headed advice and listening ear that she needed in ever-increasing frequency.
    She had to get it together.
    Sam would be flying home next week and would be needing their tried and true friendship as he got resettled into the pace of stateside life. (Even if she hoped for that picture she’d sent from the 4th of July, her with Shadow and Troxie in red, white, and blue, laughter brimming, to have made changes in his heart.)
   (Come home safe, soldier scrawled across the photo in metallic silver pen.)
    Meg, you’ll never be able to grasp what you’ve given up.
    Shadow and Troxie were waiting by the front door when she emerged, scraping her hair back to restrain it. It was impossible not to smile.
    They were both getting old, but Shadow’s past MWD training showed in the way he sat upright in anticipation of her coming. Troxie, on the other hand, a family dog for most of his existence with the name to show for it, had slumped down to snooze for a while longer.
    “Come on, pretty boys,” Mandy laughed, stepping around them to unlock the front door, slipping her phone into a plastic bag and putting it into the pocket of her running capris. 

    The dogs preceded her outside into the still-cool air. Most of her neighbors’ cars were still in their driveways, the true sign of the weekend having arrived. No one wanted to be at work if they didn’t have to be.
    Relocking her home behind her, Mandy took a moment to stretch while her two companions wandered around the yard, searching out the scents of any new person or critter that might have trespassed into their territory.
    Hoping that the fact that it was Saturday would keep the beach mostly clear, she started at an even jog towards the preset loop that would take her down to the waterfront. The fresh, salty air did wonders for the soul, and she hoped the length of the course would help settle her tumultuous thoughts.



    I wanted to capture the longing, the waiting, wishing, and hoping. Not sure that it quite worked, but I tried. 

   Life is about to descend into a hectic mess here soon. We're watching the Hundred Foot Journey right now and I feel as if we are in the quiet before the storm, the calm before the chaos. We have two weeks, not even, before we are going to drive back down the highway to the East Coast. (Or is it east coast? Do you capitalize that?) Then it'll be the moving in process--again.

     Such fun.

     But I have not forgotten you all, have no fear. I'll continue to update as I can or as I have worthy material. Thank you for staying with me.

    Ad astra per aspera.
    To the stars, through difficulties.

Monday, August 31, 2015

Writing: "bellamy + she's home"

    In keeping with my own tradition to post at least once a month, here I am. Two days before the deadline. True to form.

    Since I don't have much of not for writing, here's installment 2 of my The 100 bullet-point meta fics--explanation in my previous installment post.

    This is one of my favorite installments (and, as it happens, also the most popular one on Tumblr. Just for some trivia.)


bellamy + she’s home

•  Bellamy getting back after two weeks of travelling with Octavia and Lincoln, searching out allies with various Grounder tribes, exhausted and weary to his bones, because it’s been almost a year, and stories of her dog his every step in the Grounder villages, tales of Clarke of the Sky People and the death she’d brought down upon their greatest enemy, the Mountain Men.
•  Bellamy stepping through the gates of Camp Jaha and knowing right away that something’s happened, because there’s a foreign buzz in the air, one that only crops up when something of significance has occurred.
•  Bellamy setting down his pack when a shout goes up–Bellamy’s back!–and bracing for the onslaught of news and hugs that always greet him nowadays from the Delinquents, while Octavia laughs off to the side, she and Lincoln moving off towards their tent together to drop their gear.
•  Bellamy patiently working through the small crowd of kids that turn out to welcome him home, not paying much attention to their words until Miller’s in front of him, hand settling on his shoulder, and saying that she’s home.
•  Bellamy feeling a rush of numbness overtake him as he stares at Miller and just asks Clarke? and Miller nodding, jerking his head back towards the remains of the Ark then leading the way through the kids, who’re still chattering to each other in excitement.
•  Bellamy having questions running through his mind but being unable to put any of them in the air as he hoists his pack up again and following Miller because this can’t be real, can it? He doesn’t know how many times he’s woken up from a dream of her having come back in the last eleven months and is just tired enough that he’s not sure he isn’t in the midst of another dream.
•  Bellamy catching sight of Clarke exiting the Ark with Abby and Kane in tow, blonde hair turning to shimmering gold in the dying sunlight, and realizing she’s searching the people–for him–because then she’s looking right at him and is starting to smile.
•  Bellamy dropping his pack and crossing the space between them in fifteen long strides–he’s not waiting for Clarke to come to him, not this time–and she waits for him, arms outstretched, and Bellamy wraps his around her, lifting her off her feet and burying his face in her shoulder.
•  Bellamy shuddering when Clarke’s fingers curl into his hair and feeling the warm moisture of her tears against his neck and just holding her tighter, unconcerned with how he can feel the toes of her boots bumping against his shins.
•  Bellamy breathing in her scent–sunshine and salt and Clarke–and letting the rest of the world fall to the background.
•  Bellamy letting out a choked laugh when she whispers “I missed you” against his skin, voice unsteady with her emotions and rasping out “I know. I missed you too” in reply, and he won’t say how hard it’d been, how rough those first months had been, because she doesn’t need that weight.
•  Bellamy finally setting her back on her feet, but not releasing her all together, his hands lingering on her back to keep her close and hers resting on his arms. Clarke having tears in her eyes and smeared on her cheeks–tanned, like she’s been in the sun, where she belongs-as she looks up at him.
•  Bellamy leaning down to rest his forehead against hers, smiling at the laugh that sounds like a sob that escapes from Clarke, because he missed her, he missed her, she’s not allowed to leave like that again.
•  Bellamy straightening and telling her as much–you’re not allowed to leave like that again, not without me–because it’s been a long year and he knows the value of communication now, the importance of saying what you mean, after having to shepherd the Delinquents on his own for so long, and savoring the warmth that steals into her blue eyes at that.
•  Bellamy wanting to kiss her, because in the long eleven month since she left him standing there, the memory of her in his arms and her lips against his jaw burned into his memory, he’s realized that she’s it for him, there’s never going to be anyone who compares to Clarke, but he doesn’t. Because he won’t risk scaring her off, not when he just got her back.
•  Bellamy realizing that Kane and Abby have been joined by David Miller, that all three are rather amused, and that Raven (Wick bearing down on her, because he has trouble losing sight of her for long) is standing with Monty and Harper nearby, watching the proceedings.
•  Bellamy looking back down at Clarke and contemplating spiriting her away, because she’s obviously been here for a day or two, but instead shifting to slide one arm across her shoulders, keeping her close to his side (it’s going to be hard to let her go more than a few feet away for a while) as he turns to face the Arkers’ leaders.
•  Bellamy giving his report to Abby and Kane about the outcome of the two-week trek into the mountains with his sister and Lincoln, aware of Clarke slipping her arm around his waist, leaning against him in quiet contentment.
•  Bellamy feeling Clarke tense beside him when Octavia and Lincoln join the little powwow, and tightening his arm around her as he eyes his sister, knowing where the stress was coming from, but also knowing what Clarke doesn’t, that he and Octavia have had several loud arguments about her opinion on Clarke’s leadership skills.
•  Bellamy waiting as Octavia stares at Clarke with a blank face, impatient for her to make up her mind, because if she keeps this up, Clarke is going to try and step away from him and he isn’t ready to have her even a couple of steps away at this point.
•  Bellamy letting out a quiet sigh of relief when Octavia finally shrugs with an offhand glad you’re back, Clarke, things aren’t the same without you bossing us around and not missing the way the woman at his side slumps in relief even as she responds with a thank you, octavia.
•  Bellamy steering the conversation back to business with one-minded purpose–the sooner they’re done here, the sooner he can find a quiet corner to talk to Clarke in–and letting Lincoln and O put in their opinions and observations on their expedition’s results.
•  Bellamy tangling his fingers Clarke’s loose curls without even realizing he’s doing it.
•  Bellamy sharing a significant glance with Abby when they’re done, before glancing down at Clarke, finding her already watching him, and murmuring come on.
•  Bellamy clasping one of Clarke’s hands in his, taking them away towards the fence surrounding Camp Jaha, ducking behind the shrapnel that shields Raven’s Gate for some privacy–heavens knows there isn’t a lot of that here.
•  Bellamy and Clarke settling down cross-legged, her close enough that her legs overlap his and her blue eyes filled with relief and hope and contentment as she looks up at him.
•  Bellamy letting his hands settle on her legs, needing to touch her, because he’s still not sure this is real, it’s been so long.
•  Bellamy asking after a long space of quiet where they just watch each other if she found what she was looking for, and feeling the lingering knot in his chest ease further when Clarke nods with a low I did, Bellamy, thank you for letting me go. (He wants her to say his name forever.)
•  Bellamy trying to shrug it off, as if it hadn’t been as hard as she made it out to be, but failing because it had been, it’d been harder to watch her walk away than pulling that lever with her hand trembling beneath his.
•  Bellamy stilling when Clarke reaches for him, her fingertips–her hands are cold–brushing his cheeks, slim fingers combing back his unruly hair with care as she soothes eleven months of pain away with a few simple touches.
•  Bellamy closing his eyes and letting his head droop into her touch, wishing she didn’t affect him so profoundly but not wanting to have it any other way.
•  (clarke whispering i’m sorry for leaving you, bell, i’m so sorry. i had to go.)
•  (bellamy shaking his head ever so slightly, as long as you’re okay now.)
•   (i am. i am. i needed to find myself again and i’m going to be okay now. quiet but sure.)
•  (just… don’t leave me like that again, okay? i can’t lose you, clarke.)
•  (okay. i won’t. pause, breath, then her lips against his forehead, lingering. he feels her smile. i have so much to tell you.)
•  (the feeling’s mutual. the kids have done a lot of growing up.)
•  (thank you for looking out for them, bellamy.)
•  (anything for you, clarke.)

•  it’s going to be okay.


    Of course, this will be a few light years away from what actually happens in the show when it comes back next spring but, this is my happily ever after for Bellamy and Clarke. 

    As always, apologies for the lack of existence, but, you know how it goes. Life. School. Work. I'M STILL ALIVE. Just not, you know, actively writing a lot. Just blips and blurbs. As usual.

    Thanks for hanging in there, folks. Keep on.

    Ad astra per aspera.
    To the stars, through difficulties.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Writing: "clarke + healing"

    Alright. This is going to be a little bit off on a side road, because while I did write this piece of work, that I like to call a "bullet-point fic" for reasons you will soon discover, the entire idea, characters, and world are not mine.

    Over the beginning of this year, I watched a CW tv show called The 100 and while I cannot, in any good conscience, recommend it for a variety of reasons, I really enjoyed it. Then the finale of season two rolled around, I was reeling, and I wrote some of my first fanfiction. Though not in the normal format. 

    Despite the fact that the catalysts for these bullet-point fics (I wrote several different ones) are unknown to you, I felt that the writing itself was strong and packed a pretty good punch at times. There's six-some installments at this point in time and I plan to post them in chronological order of when they happen in my mind.

    Disclaimer: none of this is mine beyond the actual structuring of the words into sentences and paragraphs. This is not canon for The 100, as it is set after the events of the finale of season 2. 

    Shall we?


clarke + healing

•  Clarke wandering for weeks and months, staying with various Grounder tribes that welcome Clarke of the Sky People, who slayed the Mountain Men.
•  Clarke never being able to stay in one place for too long because she can’t bear to hear the tales of the death she’s wrought.
•  Clarke staying tucked away in the mountains for a time, drawing the trees and the peaks on paper she’d traded for (Grounders always welcome the skills of a healer), breathing the mountain air and slowly trying to repair her heart.
•  Clarke wandering to the coast through the forest, smiling for the first time in so long when she sees the endless ocean, watching the waves ripple across the expanse of water.
•  Clarke being absorbed into a tribe of Grounders who are removed from the circles of rumors going around about her great victory.
•  Clarke becoming their healer and having children come running to accompany her when she needs to go looking for herbs.
•  Clarke spending hours on the beach, drawing in the sand, soaking in the sun, watching the sea and the effect of the wind on it, lost in thought.
•  Clarke refusing for the longest time to join in any celebrations, preferring to spend them in her little hut, grinding herbs and keeping to herself. (She doesn’t deserve to be happy like that.
•  Clarke starting to cry when a little girl with dark hair and blue eyes, with chubby cheeks and a shy smile, gives her a necklace of seashells strung together. The little girl hugging her, seeming to get, somehow, that Clarke’s tears are not because of her.
•  Clarke being drawn out, little by little, by the people of the village. Being brought along on berry-picking expeditions by the women, being trusted implicitly by the men to tend to their wounds. Being asked by their village’s leader to weigh in on decisions as their healer.
•  Clarke starting to laugh again.
•  Clarke adapting to the Grounders’ way of life, but always retaining a small piece of her being a Sky Person, because she will always be different, always kom skai kru. (Of the Sky People.)
•  Clarke learning to speak Trigadeslang and making children giggle as she mispronounces. (Sometimes she does it on purpose, just to get that reaction.)
•  Clarke training with a warrior of the village–Rael–(a solemn, wise woman who fights hard but also loves deeply and sees no weakness in it) and getting stronger.
•  Clarke joining the Grounders when they’re all gathering, late one night, for some momentous event that she hasn’t quite grasped, just to realize they’re watching a meteor shower. The pain is palpable on her face.
•  Clarke sitting on the beach at dawn with Rael and telling her in muted whispers of the people she left behind, of the death she caused, of a promise to return someday. (Of being afraid to go back to them.)
•  Clarke crying as Rael tells her that some wounds take longer to heal than others. That the courage will return in time. That she has been brave for her people. That they can now be brave for her and wait until she’s ready to go back to them. That she is not weak for needing this time to repair her heart. That she would be weak if she weren’t affected by everything she’s done. And then resting her hand on Clarke’s head as she settles back in silence and Clarke breaks down, sobbing.
•  Clarke being noticeably lighter after that, smiling more and laughing harder, and allowing herself to cry when she needs to. Welcoming anyone who comes to her with open arms, having sweets for children, and a kind word for adults.
•  Clarke decorating her little home with seashells and sea glass.
•  Clarke telling tales of her adventures with Bellamy, the rebel leader, and Raven, who shouldn’t have survived, and Octavia, who loved one of the tri kru, and Jasper and his goggles, Monty and his pure heart, and all the people she loves. (She smiles when she speaks of them and realizes it doesn’t hurt like it did once.)
•  Clarke joining in the dances and the ceremonies and going on gathering and hunting trips as she’s invited and spending six months among them before Rael looks at her one day and says that it’s time.
•  Clarke trying to deny it, wanting to stay longer, to continue healing, but Rael shaking her head and saying that she has done her healing, it is time to regain her courage and rejoin her people and continue her journey there.
•  Clarke preparing to leave with no lack of emotion, packing her shells and her paintings and her clothes into a pack as children drift by, giving her more small gifts, of rocks and shells and dried food, that she packs away.
•  Clarke standing at the village entrance, tears in her eyes and with a tremulous smile, as the whole village turns out to see her off, with called farewells and last minute hugs and Clarke promises that she’ll come back to see them some day–and bring her people with her–and gives final instructions for the injured that are still healing.
•  Clarke walking forward into the forest, only to hear someone call after her, and turning to find Rael, the warrior who trained her (and helped heal her) stalking towards her with a grudging smile that she’s trying to smother. “We cannot afford to have our healer be eaten or lost on her journey. I will accompany you to your destination.
•  Clarke welcoming her friend with a grateful smile and the two falling into step together to begin the long journey. Only for the warrior to ask what exactly is their destination again? and Clarke just starts laughing.
•  Clarke and Rael travelling for weeks, talking and sharing, and Rael helping to settle Clarke’s fear that she isn’t ready for this step, sometimes insisting they stop so that they can “train” but really it’s just a tussle to help Clarke blow off her nerves.
•  Clarke whispering to Rael about Bellamy late at night, about how much it had hurt to have to walk away, about how much she trusted him, about how much she’d realized she needed him to be able to lead. About how he’d helped her pull the lever, about how he’d tried to take some of the blame for the deaths at Mount Weather. 
•  Clarke telling Rael several nights later how much she’s missed him. All of them. Her people. Even if they hate her when she comes back, she still has missed them.
•  Clarke and Rael being road-weary when they finally come across that last hill, exit the tree-line to see the loom of the Ark and the fence around Camp Jaha. Rael clasping Clarke’s forearm and then pulling her into hug her. This is as far as she will go. The rest is up to Clarke.
•  Clarke thanking her for everything in Trigadeslang, promising again to come see them, before turning towards Camp Jaha and her people, fingers tight around the strap of her pack as she walks towards it, already seeing Arkers gathering at the gate.
•  she’s home.


(end clarke + healing)


    And that's the first installment. I'm sorry that you're probably quite lost now, but I really, really liked these installments I did, so they're going to be shared.

    Thoughts? Confused questions? 

    (Thanks for sticking with me. Sorry it's been so touch and go, but that's life, you know?)

    Ad astra per aspera.
    To the stars, through difficulties.