Drabble Challenge: Days 29 & 30

    What about NaNo? Of course I've started my NaNo! I have twenty-four words on my Day One document, thank you very much. 

    Yeah, I'm freaking out over how this whole "words" thing works and wanted to continue working on my drabbles, so. Second to the last one complete. I'll fiddle with the last one over the next day or two. NaNo is gonna have to take priority.


    Drabble Challenge: Days 29 & 30 - promise&simple
    Word Count: 1,875    Minimum Goal: 1,800

    The calmer Jandy got herself, the easier it was to hear what was occurring on Dechlan’s half of their link. She’d been able to see what he was seeing in the past, but that’d been with complete cooperation from both parties. Getting audio would be as much as she could do on her own.
    “…sir. This wasn’t supposed to be our assignment. I saw the original file.”
    “Who said it was yours, Lieutenant? 2-22 has been assigned with 2-01. You and 2-02 will be remaining in command to relay information as needed.”
    The strength of Dechlan’s emotions was enough to defocus Jandy. She struggled to stay constant through the buffeting waves, brow creasing as her hands tightened around each other. It’s going to be fine, Dech. A whisper, maybe not enough to register with him, but something in his subconscious recognized her voice.
    It felt like he let out a long breath. “All due respect, sir, but you put us together for missions just like this.”
    “I distinctly remember you requesting being part of a Dyad, Lieutenant, and your word to stay objective.” There was something in Warren’s voice that put Jandy’s teeth on edge—like he knew something he wasn’t telling.
    Dechlan seemed to have an inkling of what it was because he went completely still for a breathless moment before speaking again. “I have been, sir. 2-22 has reached mission capability, per your orders, and has been excelling. I don’t know what—“
    “I have reason to believe you aren’t as objective as would be preferred, Lieutenant, which is why I am sending your counterpart with 2-01.”
    “This is a high-profile job, sir. Wouldn’t 2-02—“
    “Are you questioning me, Lieutenant Scott?”
    Jandy wouldn’t have been surprised if Dechlan had bit his tongue at that point to keep from saying something they would both regret.
    “No, sir.”
    “Then you are dismissed.”
    “Yes, sir.” She’d never heard him sound so wooden, forced and then she tucked back inside her own head before he would realize she was sitting there and listening.
    That didn’t mean she didn’t still feel what he felt; every bit of his helplessness, his simmering anger, the desire to lash out at something before he quelled it with an iron hand.
    Jandy cradled her head between her arms, feeling a tremor run through her. 
    I’m going to protect you. A promise she knew Dechlan had meant. There was no way for him to lie to her about it. But one he wasn’t going to be allowed to keep. 
    Although hard to get a read on, the Daxtons seemed confident in what they were doing, which was a good thing. Gage would know what he was doing. 
    Thinking logically about the matter was easier than Jandy would’ve thought. She lay down with her head on her flat pillow, staring through the darkness of her quarters, and there was no emotion to rise and clog her throat.
    She had to counteract Dechlan, which helped to keep her calm. He hadn’t returned to his own room after Warren had dismissed him, pacing through the halls instead, tense and on edge. Jandy hadn’t really realized how important this was to him, how much was on the line not just for her, but for both of them. They’d spent months learning how to work together in tandem and just when they were getting it figured out, Warren threw them this new curve ball. Now it would be a matter of keeping that synchronization over a much greater distance with a new level of pressure.
     Jandy let her eyes close and reached out to her partner, fingers curling in her thin blanket. Dech. Please, calm down.
    Don’t, Jandy, not right now. 
    No, this isn’t just about you. This is both of us and you can’t just push me out.
    She caught a glimpse of his intentions right before there was a rap at the door of her quarters. Sitting up, the woman could feel his struggle to calm down radiating off him before she slid off the bed. It was an easy matter to pull some extra clothes on—pants, for one—then she went to open the heavy barrier, having to put her shoulder into it.
    Dechlan’s hands were on either side of the frame, his head hanging, both with weariness and the weight of his own guilt. Because that was what it was, Jandy realized as she lifted one hand to brush a feather light touch along his cheek, seeking to bring him some form of relief.
    And it felt like she was back with Jane again, somehow. Becoming the protector again, except this time it wasn’t from the evil in the shadows of their lives; it was against the fallible nature of the human heart.
    I… will be fine, Dech, Jandy whispered through their link, feeling the foundations of stubble against her fingertips. You don’t have to take all this on yourself. I may not be who I was before I lost Jane, but I think I can still muster a little something to get myself through whatever it is Warren’s got planned.
    The green eyes that flickered up to meet hers were still weighted down by things that Jandy might’ve been able to sense, but that she didn’t always understand. His mind was so different, it worked in such a contrasting way, that she struggled to keep up. But, right now, it’d never felt more relatable to her.
    This was how she’d felt when she’d been here with Jane. When Jane had been dying and there had been nothing she could do.
    Come on, Dech. Talk to me, she pleaded, stepping closer to catch his gaze again after it moved away from her. The cold air from the hall brushed over her bare toes and Jandy had to resist the shiver that crawled up her spine.
    I was invested in keeping you two alive from day one, Jandy. Jane died not just on your watch, but mine. And it— He ran out of words, gritting his teeth as he tried to get his point across.
    Jandy was able to pick up on what he’d been working to say. It’s different with me. Because of this. Quiet, almost matter-of-fact.
    Like I knew it would be. Dechlan’s grip on the steel door frame tightened a fraction and she resisted the urge to get him to stop before he cut himself. It was how he was holding on.
    Making a decision, Jandy leaned to flick out the lights of her small room, then ducked under her counterpart’s arm, snagging the side of his shirt as she went. “Let’s go.”
    The soldier turned to face her after a few moments, compliant but exhaustion hovered on his face, in the darkness beneath his eyes. “Where?”
    Jandy managed a partial smile, but her eyes smarted. She wanted to be able to do something for him so badly… “Dining hall? I don’t think the guards would be too happy if we tried to get outside at this hour. Or maybe one of the upper offices….maybe we could see some stars.”
    She hadn’t let go of his shirt and didn’t realize it until Dechlan reached down to uncurl her fingers, but he didn’t release her hand after that. 
    Not even considering turning him away, Jandy laced her fingers through his then led the way away from her quarters despite how her door was still open. It wouldn’t matter if it was closed—there were video cameras everywhere.
    
//

    You still awake? 
    The briefing room was cold, exposed to the draft the late January winds brought. But the blanket of darkness over the complex meant they could see the stars, small pinpricks of light against the midnight tapestry of the sky.
    Jandy didn’t want to move from where she was, tucked into Dechlan’s side as they leaned against each other for support. He’d gotten heavier in the last few minutes and, judging by the lack of activity from him over their link, she was pretty sure he’d finally drifted off.
    A quiet sigh escaped her as she continued to watch the twinkling stars, ignoring the pressure in her head that spoke of a need to sleep. There would be time for that later. Now, Dechlan needed her. Her partner needed her, and there was no way she was going to leave him.
    You’ve been my anchor since the start of this, Dech. Let me return the favor. She traced the bones and veins in the back of his hand, unwilling to let go and have his arm around her fall away. Even if she was stepping back into the role of protector for Dechlan, as she’d been for so many years for Jane, he could provide the same security for her without even being conscious. Jandy supposed it was because she’d come to associate his very presence by her side with safety. 
    It was hard for her to look back on her life and trace the path to this point. Well, how was it supposed to have worked out this way at all? Three years ago, she’d been working three minimum wage jobs to feed herself and her sister, keep their apartment, and make sure Jane wouldn’t have to do the same. 
    Now, Jane was gone and Dechlan was here and she had been and was in the heads of both. Really, the two most important people in her life, since the beginning. It’d only been Jane for so many years, and now she didn’t want anybody but Dechlan. 
    She wasn’t a fool; she knew that Dechlan hadn’t been Warren’s first choice—that had been some guy named Smithson—but Dech had gotten his foot in the door somehow. Protecting her long before she even knew she needed protecting.
    Jandy let her cheek rest against his hair, feeling her throat tighten. She wasn’t sure what to call it—a gut feeling, maybe, but she didn’t think that this next assignment with Gage Daxton would be one she would just walk away from. 
    The fact that Warren had pulled Dechlan back to command was evidence enough. It meant that, whatever was going to go down, it was going to be something that wouldn’t go over well with Dechlan’s want to protect. A trait that Warren was aware of and was guarding against now.
    Nothing about this next job would be simple and, if she was honest with herself, she wasn’t ready for it. She wasn’t ready to be away from Dechlan, she wasn’t ready to rely on Gage Daxton to keep her alive, she just wasn’t ready.
    But she’d have to be. And Jandy knew it, as much as she wished she didn’t. 
    We both know that if I mess up, I won’t make it back, Dech. And if I don’t make it back, I don’t want to begin to think of what that’ll do to you. Because we put up a good front and pretend there’s more space between us than there is. Like right now. 
    Slipping her fingers between his, Jandy held on tight to her slumbering companion’s hand and tried not to think of how the silence after Jane would be nothing compared to the silence if they lost each other.

    Should I mention that I have a headache right now to cover for the end part? Got a bit introspective for Jandy without my meaning it to. And, I must say that these drabbles are nowhere near as fast-paced as I imagined them being in church on Sunday. I was expecting to be in the heart of my writerly sadism by now, but we're still in the beginning stages of it.

    Ah well. We'll get there eventually.

    Poor Dech, eh? He actually is taking his whole role as protector really, really seriously. The thought of not being able to be there for her is going to kill him--or drive him to interesting extremes, but who knows.

    But now I have to go work on my NaNoWriMo. Wish me luck, eh? Or at least this whole writing deal flowing a bit better than pulling teeth. Or... some similar analogy. You know what I mean.

    Ad astra per aspera.

    To the stars, through difficulties.

Drabble Challenge: Days 27 & 28

    I was going to post this in several hours, along with the other two final drabbles I have yet to write, buuut, my mom isn't as forgiving a roomie as my sister. The typing bugs her. So I'm laying here, creeping along with my typing this to keep the noise down, hoping she'll pass out before too long so I can work some more.

    Heh. Life of a writer.

    NaNo started forty minutes ago. Aaaaah. Aaaaah. Heavy breathing. Panic. I'll write that tomorrow.

    Phew, it's warm in here. I'm baking. I began to despair of ever getting this combo-drabble done, though. Then I erased a hundred words and began in a fresh line and it came pretty easily after that. Which was a relief. I want to get onto the next one before my inspie fades. Stay with me, Dechlan, I'm begging you.


    Drabble Challenge: Days 27 & 28 - diamond&letters
    Word Count: 1,748    Minimum Goal: 1,680

    Five weeks. Twenty-eight days.

    The dining hall was still and empty when they wandered through it in the dead of night. One of the pros of Dechlan’s being on Warren’s goon squad was that he was allowed little privileges, like meandering around the base whenever he so pleased—even three in the morning.
    Jandy trailed along at his side, silent. She was exhausted, but the knot in her gut kept her from sleep.
    The Daxtons had given them a green light that afternoon. They’d reached whatever goal Warren had set up for them and now were ready for ‘field work’. Dechlan had more of an idea of what that meant, but Jandy had no desire to know. None at all.
    Enough light came from the kitchen’s emergency lights—the fancy ones, that flicked on whenever it was dark—to illuminate the large room and keep them from bumping into anything. Jandy went to sit on one of the tabletops, hands clasped together. Closer study revealed that her hands were cold enough for her fingernails to turn blue.
    “It’s going to be fine,” Dechlan said after a moment, coming to sit on the bench beside her perch, the words reverberating through their thoughts along with the quiet, steady strength he always seemed to have. 
    She managed a partial smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Despite the issued sweater enveloping her small frame, the warmth that had filled her earlier at their achievement had fled, leaving her empty and freezing inside. 
    Turning to sit sideways on the bench, Dechlan reached for her hands, curling his longer fingers over hers in an attempt to transfer some heat to them. Jandy didn’t protest, remembering times she’d done the same for Jane.
    The fact that she felt like she’d just come out of a freezer aside, the stillness of the dining hall was peaceful. It was just them; no Daxton twins, no blaring alarms, no Warren with yet another load of stuff for them to do… 
    Do you ever want to just leave? She didn’t voice the question for fear of being overheard, but Dechlan definitely go the entire sentence, because his gaze flicked up to meet hers.
    A reluctance to answer was all she got at first. But he did reply, the words coming through after a few moments. Sometimes… but I would rather be here, protecting you, than be anywhere else without any idea of what’s going on in this complex. I want to end what Warren is doing here, but the only way to do that is from the inside.
    Despite the past weeks spend in each other’s heads, Dechlan’s response surprised her. You’ve been keeping that to yourself.
    Brief humor crossed his features. It took some effort. No offense, but it was a while before I was sure that you wouldn’t tell anyone if I did tell you.
    I’m honored you trust me now, then. And she pushed her sincerity across the connection to him along with a hint of a smile.
    It wasn’t accurate to say that silence fell, because, even if no words were being spoken, they were always passing things back and forth, intentionally or otherwise. That was what happened now and Jandy let out a quiet breath. 
    Are we going to make it through to the end of this, Dech? She’d called him Soldier Boy for a week before he’d broken her of that habit, and since then, it’d been whatever her current mindset dictated. 
    I don’t see why we won’t. Dechlan rubbed absent circles against the backs of her fingers with his thumbs, not realizing he was even doing it. Jandy was sure because she checked.
    I’m not a soldier, or even a spy. I don’t how to do what Warren’s probably going to want us to do. The pit in her gut grew again and she hoped she wouldn’t be sick again, like she had been earlier that evening.
    Dechlan’s grip on her hands tightened and Jandy felt a wave of…she wasn’t sure how to define it, but if she had to, she’d have called it protectiveness. He’s not going to send us in somewhere that we won’t be able to handle. He doesn’t have that many functional Dyads, so he can’t afford to lose any. And what do you think I’m supposed to be for? 
    Comic relief, Jandy quipped, drawing a snort from her counterpart. The noise echoed a bit in the dining hall, reminding her of where they were situated. 
    “I’m going to protect you, Jandy,” the soldier said, voice low, an unspoken promise backing his statement.
    “I’ll protect you, Jane.” Seven years old and defiant even with the bruise on her cheek.
    Jane sniffing, tears still staining her cheeks, but nodding. “I know, Jandy.”
    “Yeah, I know,” she kept her own tone equally quiet, knowing he would’ve caught the memory and through that, the significance of her word choice.
    Little else was spoken after that. Jandy ended up initiating a game of tag—sort of. She ran, scrambling over tabletops and trying not to trip over her own feet, while Dechlan anticipated her every move and stalked along after her. The kitchen staff showed up a handful of hours later, when she was laying on her back on one of the long tables, almost asleep, while Dechlan occupied the bench below her, waking from a fitful rest at the hushed conversation.

//

     “What’ve you found? Any gold? Diamonds?” Jane asked, sitting on the ratty old couch in their apartment, watching Jandy sort through a box of their mom’s stuff. 
    It’d been four days since the police had discovered her body and they’d hardly seen their dad since, so Jandy had taken it on herself to go through the stuff in her mom’s closet.
    “Old papers, some letters from a lady with Mom’s maiden name. There’s not a lot here and definitely nothing worth anything.” Jandy reported, holding up one of the envelopes to show her sister.
    “It looks old,” the younger commented, taking the envelope to study it while her sister returned to her investigation. “Do you think she’s still out there?”
    “Maybe.” Jandy paused, sitting back on her heels. “That’d be awful, don’t you think? Parted by an ocean from someone you care about, not knowing whether they’re still alive or not.”
    Jane hummed in agreement, opening the letter to read it.

//

    Their first assignment was nothing like the assassination attempt Jandy had believed they would be told to carry out. It was a simple retrieval of some information. Dechlan would do the retrieving, she would do the distracting.
    For the first time since she’d learned about their having to do field work, Jandy felt confident that she’d actually be able to do what Warren was asking. Acting wasn’t her strongest skill, but she’d done it before, and, when armed with the video that Warren supplied her with, she had just the bargaining chip she needed to draw some attention.
    Dechlan wasn’t thrilled with the plan—that she saunter right into the lobby of a large corporate building and start making threats of with words like “public media” and “indecent exposure”—but there wasn’t a lot he could do about it.
    Warren assigned one of his commanders to oversee their op, and his job was to get them in and out. Jandy would go in first, demand to speak with the head of the company, conveniently vacating his office, while Dechlan took the maintenance stairs, broke into the office, and lifted what Warren had sent them for.
    It went off without a hitch. Jandy drew on confidence she hadn’t felt so strongly since she’d been standing up to a guy much bigger than her to protect her little sister and she felt all that more pleased with her performance when her counterpart had a smile and a “good job” for her as they drove away.

    They spent two months working on similar assignments for Warren, handling six different operations while the Daxton’s were sent on other jobs, the details to which they weren’t privy. 
    Then something changed. Jandy wasn’t ever allowed to read the actual mission files, but Dechlan was, and the one that Warren handed him after Jandy got dismissed without so much as a “by your leave” was different.

    She sat on the bottom bunk in her small quarters where she lived on her own, knees drawn up and her arms looped around them. The cement was cold against her back, a detail Jandy ignored as she closed her eyes, trying to follow Dechlan’s movements.
    It was past Warren’s light’s out time, but he was up and about, moving through the halls with a destination in mind. She was able to figure out what it was after a bit of poking, but he had been working on his blocking skills—Jandy had to fight for every tidbit of information she extracted from his brain. She still hadn’t been able to work out what he’d read in the file for their latest assignment.
    Why are you going back to see him? The woman questioned, knowing she wouldn’t be getting an answer from Dechlan but needing to try anyway.
    There was a flair of irritation when Warren’s guards stopped him. She assumed that didn’t last long when the next emotion she picked up on was satisfied with a vexed edge to it. 
    Opening her eyes to the darkness of her room, Jandy gritted her teeth at her inability to break through. It hadn’t been necessary for her to fight her way in thus far, and she knew that maybe she shouldn’t be doing so now, but this was important. Important enough to put the unflappable Dechlan on edge. She realized after a minute of considering that, if she couldn’t get him to tell her what he was doing, maybe she could just listen instead. So she stopped fighting with him and started paying attention to what was coming to her through their connection.
    He was tense enough to put her on edge right along with him. Anger, something akin to betrayal, frustration, and… traces of fear?
    Jandy let out a long breath, trying to focus harder. She had to slide into the background of his head and in order to do that, she couldn’t be a riot of emotions or Dechlan would be able to pick up on her intentions in a heartbeat. He already could, if he’d been paying attention, but this was working because he wasn’t. 

    Huh. Just realized that little flashback with Jane and Jandy could be seen as really callous. To clear things up, their mom wasn't much of a mom and we'll leave it at that.

    And I was going to comment on something else from that, but then realized I could be giving stuff away and sooo, ne'er mind. Move along.

    Um. Yeah. So. Words. Dechlan still fulfilling his awesome dude role well enough? I feel kind of bad for him. He can't help but just get rather completely protective of Jandy. One of the side effects of living in one another's head.

    Muuuuum, go to sleeeeep. It's 1 AM. I want to write at full speed and get thousands more words done. I can't if you're not snoring like baby sis over there. And my Pacific Rim soundtrack is done. Piffle. 

    Boyce Avenue covers it is.

    Alright, I'll let you guys go. Three posts in one day, though. Kind of a record, I think. Feel free to leave thoughts. They make me rather ridiculously happy.

    Ad astra per aspera.

    To the stars, through difficulties. 

Drabble Challenge: Day 26

    I forgot to ask last post; how's the new layout/color/design for my blog? More readable? Trinity commented that the white on the red was difficult to read, so the purple was my alternative after a bit of fiddling. 

    This bit got mixed reviews from me. I really liked how I started it, but when I got further along my groove started fizzling out so I'm a bit "meh" over the end. 


    Drabble Challenge: Day 26 - escape
    Word Count: 1,655    Minimum Goal: 1,560

    Jandy stumbled into the cafeteria at six-thirty, knowing Dechlan was already inside, but having to search for him. This effort was aided when a hand—his—went up in the air across the large, busy room despite the way his back was turned.
    She made her way through the early morning bustle of people, nearly tripping over a pair of outstretched legs on her path to her partner. Dechlan held out a hand to help her step over the bench when she reached him, waiting until she’d sat down to let go and move a Styrofoam cup of coffee in front of her.
    Not bothering with a verbal thank you, because he’d already picked up on her fuzzy gratitude, Jandy tried the coffee sludge from Mars and managed not to grimace for once.
    Mornings were not her thing, at all. She was just grateful that it didn’t bother Dechlan. 
    “We’re supposed to meet the Daxtons at oh-seven-hundred to continue off yesterday. Warren wasn’t too pleased we didn’t finish on schedule,” the male said, matter-of-fact as he moved an extra plate of eggs off his tray for her to eat. 
    “He can go stuff it,” Jandy mumbled, leaning against his shoulder, just wishing she could go back to sleep. 
    Dechlan elbowed her and she caught the wordless command to eat. A quiet sigh escaped her.
    “They said it gets easier,” he continued after she’d started to poke at the food before her. “It’s just harder for us because we’re not related and that makes it more difficult to get to the level of familiarity that they need.”
    A huff of amusement escaped Jandy. “Familiarity, sure.”
    They both knew what Warren wanted, but, as acquaintances of barely two weeks, it was hard to get there and remain in their respective comfort zones.
    And, if she was honest with herself, Jandy knew that she was scared of ending up like Jane. The pressure of training and developing their connection would keep getting to her until her heart gave out and—
    Dechlan bumped her. Stop.
    That was the most they’d been able to manage thus far in terms of intelligible thoughts. A single word, backed by a fairly strong emotion or mixture of emotions. They’d discovered it when she’d woken up from a nightmare, screaming for Jane and almost giving Dechlan a heart attack.
    But Jandy didn’t respond, chewing on her cooling eggs and ignoring his gaze boring into the side of her head. The coffee was doing its job in waking her up, despite the awful taste. 
    As expected, he didn’t press her any more than that, but she could feel what he was holding back and wished that there was some way she could erase the intense mixture of emotion weighing on both of them.
    Jandy only got a brief warning before Dechlan stood up, which was out of the ordinary, because he usually waited for her. The oddity further increased when he held out a hand for hers. “Come on. Bring the coffee, if you want.”
    “Where are we going?” she questioned, leaving the sludge behind as she let Dech pull her to her feet.
    There was no forthcoming reply, but Jandy caught pieces of his plan through their link and she shot him a look as he forged a path through the crowd of soldiers and scientists. He pretended not to notice, leading her on a winding path from the depths of Warren’s complex until they were in the upper levels where you could see sunlight.
    It was still mostly dark out, with hints of pink and purple starting to streak the sky, and Jandy couldn’t have cared less, pausing in a long hallway on ground level to look out at the heavy blanket of white covering the slope of a nearby mountain that rose up over the compound. Dechlan paused when he realized she wasn’t following.
    “Jandy, come on. We don’t have that much time before we need to meet with the Daxtons.”
    She couldn’t tear herself away from the overlook. “But how much better can it get than this? We could watch the sunrise from right here.”
    A curl of satisfaction made its way through the connection, drawing Jandy’s attention from the window and to Dechlan where he stood several paces away, attempting to keep that emotion from transforming into a smile. “Would you like to watch it from here, or from outside?”
    Outside. Fresh air. Cold air. Snow. Cold. Jandy couldn’t think of a time she’d eager to go outside, but after spending what felt like months cooped up in Warren’s laboratory, nothing sounded more like heaven.
    “Outside.” She responded a heartbeat later, jogging to catch up with her partner, her dark mood from earlier releasing its hold on her. If her eagerness to be outdoors had been any less, Jandy would’ve considered that he’d done this on purpose. Even so, she couldn’t find it in her to be even fractionally miffed at him.
    The security guards at the door the soldier led them to weren’t too pleased to be letting Jandy out and about without prior authorization from Warren, but Dechlan applied just enough pressure on them to get them to think again.
    And it worked, because, with a final warning to be back in a half hour, the guards allowed them through, a gust of cold air greeting them and Jandy laughed, stepping out onto the pavement that bore a good inch of snow on it.
    Dechlan stayed close behind her once they were outside, directing her towards a good vantage point to watch the sunrise by gesturing the direction to head when Jandy checked with him.
    “You did this on purpose,” she accused, unable to keep from smiling even as she did so. The frigid temperature was causing her cheeks to turn red and her uniform wasn’t nearly warm enough for this, but she didn’t care.
    He shrugged, confirming her suspicion. “You’ve needed it.”
    There wasn’t a lot she could say to dispute that, because it was true. Jandy turned her gaze forward, being careful not to slip as she made her way across the un-shoveled grounds.
    The air was crisp, tingling as she breathed it in, and it was a welcome change from the sometimes-stagnant air deep in the belly of the gray compound that towered behind them. Jandy could feel Dechlan’s similar pleasure at getting outside, but his was for different reasons. 
     It’d taken until her nightmare just a handful of days prior for them to talk. Actually talk, not just maintain the uncomfortable front and pick up on every wayward emotion. About Jane, about how he and his brother had gotten involved in Warren’s program. About what had really happened last time she’d been at this compound.
    “She would’ve loved this,” Jandy murmured when they came to a standstill, looking out from the crest of the hill the entire complex had been built on. They were boxed in by mountains that were no doubt farther away than they appeared to be, but there was a gap between two peaks to the east where the sun’s light was already beginning to make an appearance.
    Dechlan glanced down at her but didn’t say anything, his silence respectful and comforting, in its own way.
    “Not that,” she amended, waving back at the buildings, stark against the white backdrop. “But the mountains. We lived in the heart of downtown Akita. The snow that reached us never stayed very long and traveling out of the city to see anything but buildings was difficult.” Fond memories of Jane’s excitement over even a dusting had a smile pulling at the corner of Jandy’s mouth.
     “She wouldn’t have blamed you for what happened.”
     I know. The self-recrimination didn’t fade though. Jandy pushed her hands into her pockets, letting out a breath that billowed in the air.
    The sun was close to making an appearance, but she wasn’t able to pay as much attention to it as she would’ve liked, instead being distracted by the internal debate Dechlan waged with both himself and her. 
    She knew what he was trying to do, but Jane had been her sister. Her little sister who she had been looking out for since they’d been five with their mom gone all hours of the day and sometimes into the night and their dad stumbling home long after dark, drunk as he always was after grueling day of manual labor.
    “How am I supposed to let go of that, Dechlan?” Jandy asked, turning to him with pain and frustration welling in her chest. “You’re in my head. You’ve seen how we grew up, you know how hard I worked to keep her safe from every problem my parents brought home when there was no chance of escape for us.”
    “Yes, I know. But I also know that being brought here,” he threw a hand out towards the nearby buildings, a certain amount of intensity in his fern-green eyes as he spoke to her. “Was not your fault. It was Warren’s. He decided he wanted you two and there was nothing you’ve could’ve done to avert that. Being linked wasn’t your fault; the strain of it wasn’t your fault.”
    Sunlight streamed through the mountain pass, warming the air and Jandy was momentarily struck with how it illuminated Dechlan’s features before wondering what it did to hers. “I could’ve fought harder against him,” she murmured at last, unable to help the underlying unsteadiness. 
    “And he would’ve pushed back harder.” Dechlan didn’t mince his words, seeking to drive his point home. “You know that.”
    A breeze blew past them, causing goose bumps to rise on her arms despite the long sleeves of her shirt. 
    Yeah. She admitted silently, her dark brown gaze drifting to where the sun was nestled between the peaks of the two mountains, rising at a steady rate. I know. But it doesn’t change the fact that she’s still gone.


    Also, just by the way, writing a mental link between two people is actually kind of hard. You constantly have to remember that you're not just writing one set of thoughts and emotions, but two. Maybe not in as great of detail, but you have to remember that the second person is there. 

    So, yeah. I like the beginning a lot. Later is okay. Sorta.

    Planning on combining the next two drabbles into "diamonds&letters" and "promise&simple" then the last one will be "future" and I do have something sadistic planned. As long as I can get my aching brain to cooperate with me, but we'll have to see how that goes.

    Anyways. Comments, questions, critiques, or concerns can be directed to the comment box and I would be pleased to respond to them. Thanks for putting up with me and I should be posting again today sometime. "Should" being the operative word there.

    Ad astra per aspera.
    To the stars, through difficulties.    

Drabble Challenge: Day 25

    Wow, NaNo starts in twelve hours. I really don't know if I'm ready yet. Not to mention my outline for the first several chapters is back at home. Which may complicate things a bit.

    As it turned out, I got two drabbles done over all of yesterday and a bit of today. I did work a little in the car, but we were driving through Pennsylvania and there were a lot of cool things to look at, so I didn't start seriously working in the evening.

    I did (finally) get to jam the Daxton Twins in, though, which I am pleased about.

    Please meet Gage and Teagan Daxton, also perhaps-not-so-willing participants of the Dyad Program.

    They're kind of awesome. And older than they look, I think, but details.


    Drabble Challenge: Day 25 - winter
    Word Count: 1,539    Minimum Goal: 1,500

    Jandy had forgotten what time of year it was until she was escorted to a briefing room one morning that overlooked a paved courtyard. A light dusting of snow covered the ground and dusted the surrounding buildings, with the overhead sky shaded gray with winter clouds.
    Looking out on the stark and almost harsh scene, she realized she missed her little corner of the world back at home. Japan hadn’t been her native land, but after spending the majority of her life there, it was the closest thing she had to a mother country. And she liked it that way.
    She forgot, again, that she had someone listening in on her thoughts and emotions until there was a faint feeling of question at the back of her thoughts. In answer, she focused on the sensation of being surrounded by people and buildings, the warmth of her old haunt where she’d drown the pain she couldn’t remember the source of. The emptiness of her apartment that was probably long since ransacked and repopulated. 
    Thus far, that had been how they communicated. Impressions, emotions, sensations, but no words as of yet. Sometimes, Jandy felt like she could hear things from his end of the connection. Pieces of conversations when around her was silence, the clink of silverware when she wasn’t eating, splashing water while she was in bed… It’d taken time to adjust and to get her skin to stop crawling every time it happened, and now Jandy found the background noise soothing.
    Taking a seat in one of the handful of chairs, Jandy rolled across the floor to be near the window, propping her feet up on the low windowsill. You should really see this, Soldier Boy. Despite the whole prison look, the snow makes things a bit less… oppressive. Like a big, mean dog with a bow tie.
    Bemusement drifted through her. She couldn’t help her eye-roll and sank lower in her chair, relaxing into the leather, feeling at ease for the first time since she’d arrived here. The soldiers who had escorted here had stepped out into the hall, so the room was empty. 
    It’d been two days since Doctor Hummel had had a free-for-all with her brain and the pain was finally beginning to recede to a dull pounding. If the soldier – Dechlan Scott, she reminded herself – on the other end of this link had been fighting the same effects, he’d been very good at ignoring it. Jandy had gotten scarcely a glimpse of any pain from him over the last forty-eight hours.
     Jandy could feel Dechlan Scott’s vague attendance to her thoughts; just a faint notion, but one that she was certain of either way. She was able to do the same to him, if she preferred, but oft times was too busy drifting through her own memories to pay much attention.
    There was a click from behind her. Twirling in her seat, the woman watched the opening portal to see who would come through, seeing one of her guards pushing the door open. Warren was the first one through, surprise, surprise.
    Jandy arched an eyebrow at him, looking past him as a woman and a man, both about the same height and with blonde-brown hair, followed him into the briefing room. Both pairs of hazel eyes went to her as they entered and they exchanged a look.
    Odd. That was either a good look or a bad look. “Welcome to my office,” she drawled in greeting.
    The Dyad Program’s overseer wasn’t impressed as he took a seat at the head of the table, his two companions occupying spots side-by-side across from Jandy. They were perfectly serene and that wasn’t even the weird part. They their every movement was made in sync. No lapses or pauses.
    Just when she was beginning to think maybe they were in on the whole mental connection thing, the door opened again. Her dark gaze flicked that way and her surprise was mirrored both on the face of the man standing there and in her—his—thoughts. 
     “You’re—“ Jandy started then stopped, finding she couldn’t think of anything to say. Something tugged at her—a memory, maybe—that she couldn’t pinpoint, sparked by his presence.
    He looked like the soldier she’d been imagining since two days ago. Short cropped, brown hair, tall with an upright form, and a direct gaze. It didn’t take him long to school his features, subduing the display of emotion before he spoke.
    “Dechlan Scott.”
    Jandy had no idea what to make of her emotions, nor of the guarded vibe she was getting off of him, but she replied, “Jandy Sparks. Nice to actually meet you.”
    The soldier watched her a moment longer before moving around to sit down at Warren’s right hand, a seat over to Jandy’s left. 
    She found herself almost frozen, unable to glance over at him or even produce legible thoughts, because this was really happening. Jane was really gone and she would be spending the rest of her foreseeable future with someone who was currently an absolute stranger privy to her every thought and emotion.
    Her fingers curled around the arms of her chair before she pushed to her feet, despite how Warren seemed ready to begin his little powwow. Snow had started to fall again, the wind blowing the flakes about in small flurries. 
    “2-22, please take your seat.” The overseer said with very little room for anything but compliance in his voice.
    Jandy ignored him for the time being, arms crossed tight over her stomach. Dechlan Scott was keeping to himself, which she was thankful for. She’d been able to ignore the fact that he was an actual person, not just a thought in her mind, until now. Now he was real. 
    Now her sister was really gone. Really and truly.

    //

    Green eyes boring into hers as he gripped her shoulders tight, keeping her from launching herself at the people in white coats who’d come to take her sister away.
    He didn’t say anything but Jandy couldn’t tear herself – or her gaze – away from his. 
    “Please.” 
    “I can’t.”

    //

    Jandy drew in a sharp breath, not sure where the memory had come from, but when she turned, turned to look and see if it was the same man, he was already watching her. As if he’d expected it, or maybe he’d just been able to pick up on the memory as she relived it.
    You were there. 
    Dechlan nodded once, like he’d heard the thought.
    Reaching for her seat, the woman sat down a bit heavily, feeling as though she’d been hit by a large projectile. What was Warren’s purpose with this? Why him?
    That man, however, had had his patience quota used up for the day and it showed. “If you’re ready to begin, 2-22?” He didn’t wait for her to confirm, continuing anyways as he gestured at the other two members of the meeting. “Gage and Teagan Daxton, designated 2-01 and 2-02. They’ve been part of the Dyad Program since before you and your sister were here.”
    Jandy attempted not to snort at the “part of” portion of his introduction, covering with a light cough that everyone seemed to buy—except Dechlan. The tick that appeared for a brief moment in his jaw told that he’d caught the thought and that he was far from annoyed buy it.
    Secure in the fact that he wasn’t going to rat her out to Warren—maybe not such a flawless little soldier after all—Jandy nodded at the Daxton’s after the fact.
    “You guys are twins?” She asked, curiosity getting the better of her. 
    “We are,” the female, Teagan, answered. “Got invited to this little rodeo a bit over a year and a half ago. Not a lot of perks, but it’s at least a bit warmer than where we came from.”
    Her twin smirked at the not-so-veiled jab at Warren’s project. Jandy wondered briefly how long it’d taken them to build the connection she was seeing. The potential had been there for Jane and her, but that had been before Jane hadn’t been able to take the pressure any longer.
    Warren cleared his throat, casting a hard look at the three of them. Dechlan was left out of it, nothing about his ramrod–straight posture and silence offending his boss. 
    Jandy decided then and there to loosen him up a bit at some point. There was no way she’d be able to survive otherwise. Although, it might not be such a hard job after all, she figured, watching the tick appear again and reaching out with her thoughts to poke him experimentally. 
    The feeling she got in response no doubt translated to “leave me alone and listen”. It took a fair deal of effort to keep from smiling.
    “2-01 and 2-02 are going to be your program guides. They have been ready for field work for some time, but I want them to get the two of you in sync before their first mission.” Warren’s words had a sobering effect on all of them.
    Her humor from moments prior dissipated, this piece of news drawing much the same reaction as a bucket of cold water might’ve. Field work?


    Not my finest work, but I guess it'll do. Yay for Daxtons! I plan to do more with them in the future, but for now their role is comprised of grudging lackeys for Warren. 

    I may take a page out of Penny's book and do some prompt combining, just as an FYI. Not a lot, but enough to cut my five remaining drabbles down to three in an attempt to make them slightly more manageable before I have to, you know, start a 50,000 word novel sometime tomorrow. 

    Speaking of which, I need to finish my outline (still) and figure out the NaNo widget. 

    Alright, now for the second drabble. See you in two!

    Ad astra per aspera.
    To the stars, through difficulties.

Notification

    Just giving peoples a head's up (greetings to you, new follower, AKA, Sam) about what my current game plan is.

    We're headed to the grandparent's in the morning, which is a several hour drive, during which I fully intend to write my little heart out. So long as I am not completely miserable and more sick than I have been this evening. Heh.

    I do fully intend to give finishing the drabble challenge my best effort, though. I like Jandy and Dechlan a lot and it's all just a matter of actually getting the words onto the page.

    Then I need to finish my NaNoWriMo novel outline. Heh. Two days. Oh gosh.

    Anyways. During dinner this evening, I also finished a random, introspective, friendship/life applicable scribble that's been floating around in my head for a bit and thought it might be a good thing to post. You guys can get back to me on whether or not I was right.

    Ernest Hemingway once said, "The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too." 

    It's kind of hard to believe, but it's true. It's applicable in a lot of different types of relationships, but, in my case, it applies to friendships. 

    I let one friendship swallow me whole, lost track of who I was and that there are more people out there than just that one person. That person was and still is very, very important to me, but the difference now is that I know that there are going to be other people, too. 

    Because, let's be honest, one will never be enough. One friend that you pour yourself into is not going to be enough and all you're going to end up with is a bruised heart. Speaking from experience.

    You need all of them; all the different kinds of friendships that you'll come across in life. You need the friend who's been your bestie seven years running. You need the friend to pass cutesy blabbers and hugs back and forth with. You need the friend who's watched all those action movies too. You need the friend who you spill your heart to when you don't know who else to turn to. You need the friend you talk about hot guys with. You need the friend you hardly realized was there had until God gave you a kick in the pants. You need the friend who got you interested in Castle. You need the friend who understands the procrastination. You need the friend you don't really talk to anymore. 

    Maybe some won't be as close as others. That's okay.

    Maybe some will be easier and less draining to spend time with than others. That's okay. 

    Maybe only a handful will ever really see your heart, and that's okay too. It doesn't matter how close they are, they're still going to shape who you are. Leave an impression on your person. Good, bad, painful. It's still important.

    Don't be afraid to open your heart to someone new. Maybe they'll be one of the most amazing people you've ever met. Maybe they'll break your heart.

    Both are how we grow, learn, and slowly become who we're supposed to be.


    And there's my writing for today. (Yes, I really do have friends who fit all those descriptors, believe it or not.) Thoughts are quite welcome.

    Thanks for hanging in there, guys! See you, hopefully, on the morrow with a flurry of posts. Hopefully.

    Ad astra per aspera.
    To the stars, through difficulties.

Drabble Challenge: Day 24

    Heavens, I can barely keep my eyes open. This is going to have to be short, I'm afraid.

    Still attempting to catch up, obviously. Continuing right off from yesterday's scrawl, just a handful of hours later.


    Drabble Challenge: Day 24 - outside
    Word Count: 1,465    Minimum Goal: 1,440

    First, it was just fogginess and a headache that pounded against every corner of her skull. Much like a migraine, but worse. Much worse. And when the fog began to lift, not only was there hammering pain in her head, but it felt like there were tendrils of fire, burning a path through her brain. 
    Jandy couldn’t even find the breath to cry out. The pain was so completely overwhelming, conquering everything else until all she could do was curl in on herself, almost forgetting that she needed air. But every time she moved, the ache worsened, blazing up until she stilled again.
    She didn’t remember it being like this with Jane. She didn’t remember this part at all from before, but she was pretty sure she would’ve remembered the impression of someone searing cattle-brands against her hippocampus.
    As awareness continued to filter back to her, Jandy was able to feel a cot and a pillow under her head. A blanket draped over her. And… a conversation?
    One dark eye opened a crack, enough to see dimmed lights, a handful of other cots, and not another soul in sight. Something that she was thankful for, but when she retreated back into darkness, there were voices again. Indistinct and fuzzy, but definitely there.
    I’m too tired for this. Jandy told herself, attempting to get her fingers to uncramp from their strangle hold on the rough fabric of her blanket. 
    Annoyance drifted through her and Jandy huffed before she realized that she wasn’t annoyed. She hurt too much to be annoyed at either Warren, Doctor Hummel, or even the both of them combined right that moment.
    Memory took precious seconds to return. An operation, one that she and Jane had supposedly undergone a year ago. One that—
    Oh. Oh. 
    Jandy pressed her fingers into her forehead, trying to alleviate the pain and how much of an idiot she felt like. Of course. Warren’s whole project was centered around what was happening to her right then. Establishing mental connections between two different minds with the help of a bit of technology and some very delicate surgery.
    The annoyed vibe strengthened, but Jandy didn’t get the impression that it was being directed at her. Either way, she still was vexed by it, pushing back against the foreign feeling, mumbling, “Don’t take it out on me. I’m the victim here, green-soldier-person.”
    That annoyance was drown out by a myriad of emotions – surprise, confusion, disconcertion – and then… it felt more like an impression that an actual feeling. Like a small wave from someone who didn’t know what to say.
    Shifting onto her back, head still aching, Jandy closed her eyes and focused on the sensation. How were you supposed to shake hands with someone mentally? She and Jane had never needed the formalities, and now—
     Vague amusement.
    Jandy frowned. Oh, shut up. She sequestered her thoughts, then reached out in an experimental jab, trying to recreate the effect of poking someone.
    It worked. A jump rippled through her head. More surprise, then frustration again, but, once more, not at her. It was directed at someone else on the other end of their figurative line.  
    The connection wasn’t as clear as it had been with Jane, though, she mused while her new pal seemed preoccupied. With Jane, they had been able to share clear thoughts; full sentences. Why it wasn’t working that way now was beyond her. Maybe their brains weren’t compatible. Or maybe it was too early. The memories from her first days here with her sister were still fuzzy and unclear.
    A warning that didn’t feel unlike a flashing red light would’ve broke through her thoughts.
    Warning for what? Jandy pushed that across. Or, at least, the question behind it. 
    It was another impression this time. Menacing. Controlling. Heartless. Cruel. Jandy pieced the various feelings together into a person—the project’s overseer, Mark Warren.
    Not too impressed by this, the woman rolled onto her side with her back facing the rest of the room, determined to pretend she was still asleep. For a short while, anyways. Green-soldier-person probably had let it slip that she was alive and kicking again. No surprise. Warren’s little robots.
    Bemusement that wasn’t hers drifted through Jandy. 
    Whoops. But there wasn’t a lot of apology behind it. They were like robots, and although whoever was on the receiving end of this handy little connection sure had a variety of emotions at hand, Warren still had had something up his sleeve with his whole “hand-picked partner” deal.
    Whatever and whoever was going on, Jandy didn’t particularly care. She felt like someone had cut her head open and poured a bunch of little dwarves with pick-axes into it. It felt remarkably like a few of the hangovers she’d experienced in the past, and whenever those cropped up, she tended to just flop back down and sleep several hours longer.
    The sound of a lock being turned came to her, followed by the door being opened. Footsteps entered the room from the hall and Jandy didn’t bother to look back at them.
    Looks like you were right, pal. Calvary’s arrived.
    A restlessness was the most resounding reply she got back, like the person on the other end wasn’t content with their situation. 
    “Are your readings in the green, Doctor Hummel?” Warren’s voice came, cutting through her curious investigation of the emotions that weren’t hers.
    It was a long moment before there was a somewhat reluctant, “Yes, Mr. Warren.” 
    Jandy wondered for only brief moments what had occurred while she’d been out. But then, how long exactly had she been out for?
    “Good. The connection appears to be holding strong?” The man continued behind her. 
    The woman resisted the urge to pull her pillow over her head to block out his voice and told herself to just pay attention to what was being said. At the back of her mind, the restlessness still churned, now almost to the edge of concern and Jandy only wished she could ask her new brain partner for the reason for the freak-out.
    She knew how to handle Warren.
    “Yes, thus far. It wavers from time to time, but it takes time and work to help the connection strengthen its bonds. At this moment, the connection seems to be an average one, and I would estimate it would take two or three days of time in contact and training to reach a point of mental clarity between them.” Hummel reported, her words punctuated by soft beeps, no doubt from her tablet.
    “You can stop pretending to be asleep now, 2-22.”
    She acquiesced with a long sigh, turning her head to catch a glimpse of Warren’s deadpan face in her peripherals. “A new number? Just for me? You shouldn’t have.”
    “Your designation shifted when you received a new partner. You and your sister were 2-13 and 2-14. Now you are 2-22.”
    “And my new head buddy?” Jandy prompted while attempting to poke the tenseness out of said buddy. The tension was making her hair stand on end and she already couldn’t think straight.
    “Dechlan Scott; designation, 2-21.” Warren stated, seeming to focus on her face for a long moment before he turned his attention back to the doctor waiting by his side. “Proceed as you see fit, Doctor. You will know how best to handle the initial stages, but I want full reports of the ground covered daily and immediate summoning if anything drastic occurs, is that understood?”
    Hummel nodded once, not seeming too pleased about it, but Jandy was certain she valued her job more than not being treated like a ten-year-old. Otherwise she would’ve been long gone ages ago.
    The overseer left not much after that, being met in the hall by a pair of soldiers before the three disappeared, both from sight and from hearing. Then, Doctor Hummel found a rolling stool, blowing out a long, frustrated breath.
    Jandy ignored her and the rest of the outside world in favor of her stressing counterpart. For the moment, at least. 
    What had his name been again? Dechlan? Dechlan Scott. She rolled the name around in her head a couple of times, trying to figure out where she’d heard it before, and only realized after the fact that his attention had been caught by her initial testing of his name. 
    How fascinating. She reached out to show that she was still in working order, despite a pounding headache. Speaking of which, “Say, Doc, any way I can get some painkillers. Whatever you guys did is making my head implode and I don’t think you want me starting to throw up. It’s never pretty.”
    One of Hummel’s flawless brows arched as she continued to type on her tablet. “Don’t count on it, Miss Sparks.”
    Jandy sighed. 


    Okay, time to sleep. Can't hardly focus on the screen anymore. Any questions, don't hesitate to leave 'em in the comment section. I'd be more than happy to answer once I find me brain again.

    Ad astra per aspera.
    To the stars through difficulties.

Drabble Challenge: Day 23

    Believe it or not, I am still trying to finish this thing. Jandy's a bit too interesting for me to just abandon, so I shall strive onwards. We'll see how many more I manage before I run up into NaNo. Four days, folks.

    I should really finish outlining, shouldn't I? I'm on chapter ten, at least.

    We're also continuing right off the last scribble, just FYI as it's been a couple of days.


    Drabble Challenge: Day 23 (late) - thousand
    Word Count: 1,490    Minimum Goal: 1,380

    It felt good to be clean again. Really good. There wasn’t a lot to be said for sitting in the same pair of clothes for several days, let alone it being the same outfit one had sat in a smoky bar with.
    Something felt different, though. Her mind felt sharper, no longer struggling to focus on one thing or another. There were clear lines now, between the memories she’d been reliving and the things that had happened to her recently. The facts were also setting in.
     If Jandy ever got her hands on the project overseer, she would be giving him a brutal first, and last, lesson in street fighting. As a thank you for all the fancy tricks he’d had drilled into her and Jane before he let her die.
     The shift in her mindset must’ve shown on her features, because when Jandy finished dressing in the scrubs—rough fabric, dark color, supremely uncomfortable—and turned her attention on them, both the women seemed to straighten up from their former at-attention-but-bored postures.
    “Whenever you two are ready,” she said, the corner of her mouth lifting in a humorless smirk. 
    My name is Jandy Sparks, you took my sister from me, then had the nerve to pretend it never happened. Who I am now is whom you made me to be and the consequences will be your own fault.
    There was no reply to her statement, just movement. The shorter of her two bodyguards took point, the other paced along behind, with Jandy situated between them. She didn’t know what was going to happen in the next hours, but now she was ready.

//
//

    A strong arm braced across her shoulders and collarbone to pull her away and then to her feet after while the white-coated doctors extracted Jane from her grip. Jandy couldn’t even summon the strength to try and fight, to ward them off, numbness spreading through her from the gaping emptiness in her mind.
    Jane’s name turned over and over in her mind. God, please, no. No. No, no, no. Not Jane.
    The hold on her shoulders was the only thing that kept her from falling back to her knees. 

//
//

    Warren was waiting for her arrival in a pristine lab where multiple monitors were already up and running, surrounding an operating table. An identical set up was on the other side of the room, and a woman in a white coat was typing away at a computer in between the two, her blonde hair tied back in a ponytail and her focus entirely on her work. For now, at least. Two assistants were assembling trays of what appeared to be surgical instruments, one on either side of the room and working with near-silent efficiency. 
    Jandy felt her stomach twist in apprehension. She didn’t remember this part. It was only Jane coming back and there was nothing in white laboratory/operating room that had resurfaced yet.
    “What is this?” She questioned, stopping only three steps inside the space, dark gaze flicking to the man responsible for everything. The anger that swelled was quelled—but Jandy could still feel it, bubbling inside of her.
    “Doctor Hummel has informed me that, if I wish to have any hope of reconnecting your mind to another’s, it must be done sooner, rather than later. It took some time to find a suitable and compatible candidate, but now that one has been selected, Doctor Hummel has been given the green light to proceed.” Mr. Warren explained in drawn out tons, seated in what looked to be the most comfortable chair in the room. 
    She took a step back out of base instinct, able to remember the muddle of her connection to Jane, the confusion, the pain, and eventual death that it had brought. Jane had taken more than a small portion of Jandy’s heart with her when she’d died and Jandy refused to go through that again. “No. You’ve already screwed around in my head enough. You’re not getting another shot at it.”
    One brow arched, as if he was genuinely interested in what she had to say. “I don’t see you have a choice, 2-13. If you will, please step over to the table. Doctor Hummel is quite anxious to begin and your selected partner should be here shortly.”
    A tight grip on Jandy’s shoulder kept her from getting any further away than she already had. A glance behind her confirmed that it was one of her two escorts, the woman’s blue eyes expressionless boring into hers. Deciding to ignore the soldier, Jandy focused on Warren again, who was watching the proceedings with waning patience. 
    Nothing was coming to mind. She didn’t know what to say to keep herself off that table. Jane had always had the words. Jane had always been the bright one, the one who’d finished school and even taken some night classes. Not her. Not Jandy, who’d barely finished high school and who’d devoted her life to just making sure her little sister was cared for and, most importantly, safe.
    It still haunted her, some of the things she’d done to achieve that goal. But she didn’t regret it. 
    I took on people like Dad’s old friends. I can take on whoever Warren plans to throw at me. Jandy took in a breath and pulled away from the strong hold on her jacket. 
    “Fine.” She said, moving across the room towards Warren in a few quick strides, dark brown gaze narrowed as she came close. “You want me to play ball? I’ll play ball. Just don’t regret it later down the road.” You have no idea what I have already proven myself capable of.
    The program’s overseer didn’t seem overly impressed, forget intimidated, by her announcement. It didn’t matter. Jandy turned away from him and went to sit on the edge of the cold, steel table. 
    The doctor finished her work and came over, brow furrowed deeply in thought as she took Jandy’s chin in hand and twisted her head to the side in the fashion of one not accustomed to working with live subjects all too often. Grimacing, Jandy let her do as she wanted, watching the nearest corner with too much interest.
    “Who on earth did you get to do the incisions last time; Doctor Frankenstein?” Hummel muttered, not loud enough for Warren to overhear while prodding at the back of her patient’s neck. She smelled like antiseptic and sterilized equipment, not a fun combination.
    Jandy had to restrain a caustic reply to her question, rotating her jaw when the other woman finally released her. “Everything to your satisfaction, Doc?”
    No amusement appeared on Hummel’s features as she went to the nearby counter and pulled open one of the upper cabinets, revealing something that reminded Jandy of a fancy wine-cooler, made of glass and with racks inside, but the name of it escaped her. 
    “Lay with your stomach down.” The doctor ordered, and when Jandy opened her mouth to protest – how on earth was that supposed to work, what with them trying to jiggle with her brain – a bolster was handed to her by one of the assistants.
    Not bothering with a thank you, Jandy studied the foam block, forgetting Doctor Hummel’s activities for the time being, before setting it on the operating table approximately where her head would be. She shifted around to get into position, the pit in her stomach growing larger with each passing moment. It would be a bit of a day-ruiner if she hurled everywhere. But amusing in the aftermath.
    The bolster had her head at an angle, with the back of it towards where Doctor Hummel still sifted through all her supplies. She could really only use one eye, the other too close to the table to be of much use. 
    “Manzano, go find out where Scott is at. I wanted him here ten minutes ago. Part of this process is synchronization and one has to be present for that.” Warren’s voice came, disembodied somewhere ahead of Jandy. The sound of the door being opened and shut again came a few moments later. 
    “I am prepared to administer anesthesia,” Hummel announced not long after Warren issued his command. 
    Jandy closed her eyes, letting out a quiet breath.

//

    “Just count backwards from a thousand,” Jane instructed, attempting to be brave but a wobble was detectable on her voice. “It’ll help you take your mind off the pain.”
    She managed a grimaced smile, fingers clamped down over the wound to her shoulder. “Isn’t it supposed to be backwards from ten?”
    “That’s usually for anesthesia, when you’re about to pass out. I haven’t got any of that for you.”

//


    Humor flickered through her thoughts before there was a steady “do it” from Warren and the touch of a cold swab met the skin of her arm. Then a needle stung, bright, flaring, and before Jandy could reach nine-hundred-eighty-nine, darkness swallowed her. 


    You know, if I were asked where all Jandy's seemingly new-found strength, determination, and will power has come from, I'd say it'd come from remembering about Jane. While Jane was alive, she was what drove Jandy to new heights (or lows..?). Either way, to be stronger. Now that she's remembering Jane, she's starting to remember that old strength that she used to have. Jane is gone, but she can still fight for her memory. 

    Hm. Well. Yeah, that's what I've got. I may go write some more and see if I can get another day scribbled out or not.

    Thanks for hanging with me, folks. Still working to get back on top of everything, but I'm a good deal closer than I was three days, let's just put it that way.

    Oh, and did anyone catch the name? Mwuaha. 

    Ad astra per aspera.
    To the stars, through difficulties.