I was really hoping things wouldn't have to come to this, but they have.
As I've mentioned in my previous several posts, schoolwork is looming like a mountain over me. I've been struggling as it is to try and stay on top of it, but with the school year's end in sight and the OYAN Summer Workshops coming up fast as well, I need to have it done, not just on top of.
So I've decided to take an at least two week hiatus from the computer and internet, if not longer, to try and knock out a bunch of the stuff I have to do.
I will be back, I promise, and, if you're lucky, I'll have written something in my non-internet time. Probably whilst stay wired into everything for a couple more days, but after that, it's so long to me.
So....wish me luck? And thank you so much for tagging along with my blog. It means a tremendous amount to me.
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Writing: 30 Prompts - Untitled
I cannot begin to express how bad I feel for not having posted in what feels like weeks now, but life has been life and schoolwork mountainous, as it always is.
To make up for my lack of posts, I found another set of prompts I wrote out some time ago while digging through my hard-drive this evening. (Also known as, not quite listening to my SWI lesson.)
I was relieved to find that the prompts needed very little editing and decided to go ahead and share them with you all. The idea was one I had a long while ago and never got anywhere productive with, but I still found myself smiling rereading these blips.
Everything should be pretty self-explanatory, so I won't hold you any longer.
1. Frost
When he woke up, she was already out of bed, standing by the window, which was touched with frost. He rose and went to stand behind her, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders to ward off the cold. She smiled up at him in contentment.
2. Wing
She felt like a bird that had lost a wing without him; unable to fly. Grounded. But when he rode up the driveway that evening, she flew to greet him.
3. Glass
When he went to see her a few days after her aunt’s death, his first thought was that she looked like glass. Sitting in a corner of her room in the dark, alone and crying, all he could see was a glass doll that he would never let break again.
4. Tea
Her first reaction to the over eager suitor-wannabe was to throw her still warm tea in his face. She was so angry with him she wanted to scream. But a distracting hand on her shoulder kept her from following through and she watched as her husband made his claim known to the other man.
5. Star
He wondered why it was that she mirrored the brightness of stars in his eyes, no matter what state she was in.
6. Poem
She disliked most poetry. It was dull and repetitive, but there were a few she enjoy. Those were the ones she found while poking through the drawers of his desk.
7. Spot
He enjoyed the afternoons where he could find her curled up in one of the library’s cubby holes, soaking in the sun. The one she frequented most was dubbed “her spot” in his mind.
8. Kiss
She loved surprising him. Popping out from small places and catching him unawares. While he probably didn’t like that part, she would bet he did like the impromptu kiss that followed a scare.
9. Hand
He would find himself fascinated with her hands some days. The small, dainty fingers and soft palms. So unlike his own, and downright amusing when he found them covered with mud.
10. Scarf
She always made sure he had a scarf on the cold, windy days, going so far as to order him to a height she could reach so she could wrap it securely around his neck.
11. Leaf
Once when he was flipping through one of her books from home, he found a leaf pressed between the pages. She explained it was from the tree in her parent’s front yard. There was a bit of longing in her eyes that made his heart clench.
12. Scar
When she first saw the scar on his leg, she nearly burst into tears, imagining a highly painful occurrence, until he told her that it was from his childhood, when his brother hit him with a stick. She wasn’t sure how much she believed that.
13. Fire
He enjoyed evenings in front of the fire on the settee, with her back to his chest, and her peals of laughter at something causing him to smile as well.
14. Emotion
Sometimes, she wished he would show more emotion, but with one of his wordless gestures of affection, she would forget all about that wish, and thank God for making him the way he was.
15. Book
Every day he would finally say – to himself – that he could read her like a book. That was, until she said or did something entirely new, and he had to start all over again to fit this new quirk in.
16. Bell
She thought her hearing might be going bad until he looked at her with one of those looks of his that said she was being foolish again, and found that his message came across clear as a bell.
17. Whisper
He loved it when night fell, and she crawled under the covers to curl up beside him, whispering “I love you” and how the rest of their lives would be right because they were together.
18. Illness
She hated being sick. She couldn’t move, couldn’t barely breath, because when she caught an illness, it was usually bad. Now she hated it even more because she could see the worry and fear in his eyes while he sat beside her.
19. Logic
Logic was like a weapon when used correctly. You could always use it to corner your opponent, assuming they didn’t outwit you first. And he’d always used this as his fallback. Until now. She darted away from him, skirts trailing behind her, laughter filling the air, with his boots in hand.
20. Laugh
The first time she truly heard him laugh, she was enchanted. All she’d done was slip on the polished wood floors and fall with a loud “oomph” and he had started chuckling. From that moment forward, she made it her life’s goal to make him laugh more often.
21. Child
When they’d first met, he’d thought she was like a child. Some days, he still thought that. But there were moments where he would be knocked off his feet and left wondering where his sweet and innocent wife had gone to.
22. Breath
Winter was one of her favorite times of year. Because when she’d been outside for a long time and he came to find her, he would bend down to nuzzle her cheek, and his warm breath would ghost over her skin, warming it.
23. Eyes
He’d never particularly liked it when people stared at him, because it was downright unnerving. But when his wife leaned over him, eyes alight with mischief as they perused his features, he didn’t quite mind it so much.
24. Bag
The day she had to pack her bags to go back to her parent’s house was the day her heart felt like it would break in two, even though she knew it was for her own safety. She’d just never imagined she would have to leave his side.
25. Time
Everything seemed to stop when she left. Not only time, but also his heart. Like her presence alone made the world go round. It was terrible, and he wished the war would end so she could return to his side.
26. Fear
Her fear had been rising with every passing month that he wouldn’t send for her or even come for her himself when she turned around and her gaze was caught by a familiar tall and dark form. And in that instant, all her insecurities vanished.
27. Table
It did him a world of good to have her sitting across from him at the table once again, chattering about her day. Of course, it was a bit more chaotic with their twin sons there as well.
28. Scream
Her heart always pounded when she heard one of her children scream, but on this particular day, she didn’t mind the nerve attack as much, because she burst into the boys’ room to find their father tickling them on the rug.
29. Flower
No matter how many flowering weeds the twins might bring her per day, none of their plants brought the same look of heartfelt love to her face as his mere presence did.
30. Smile
She had it decided. The one thing she would never, ever tire of even if she tried. That was the soft smile on her husband’s face when he thought she wasn’t looking, one that radiated peace and contentment with his little family and that readiness for what tomorrow might bring.
And now I must dash, because it is 10:30 PM and I have much yet to do before rising a bit earlier than normal to (prayerfully) talk with my bestie over Skype tomorrow morning.
So, I hope you both enjoyed these and that you shall forgive me for the sudden quiet.
Please feel free to leave comments or questions below and thank you very much for reading!
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
To make up for my lack of posts, I found another set of prompts I wrote out some time ago while digging through my hard-drive this evening. (Also known as, not quite listening to my SWI lesson.)
I was relieved to find that the prompts needed very little editing and decided to go ahead and share them with you all. The idea was one I had a long while ago and never got anywhere productive with, but I still found myself smiling rereading these blips.
Everything should be pretty self-explanatory, so I won't hold you any longer.
1. Frost
When he woke up, she was already out of bed, standing by the window, which was touched with frost. He rose and went to stand behind her, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders to ward off the cold. She smiled up at him in contentment.
2. Wing
She felt like a bird that had lost a wing without him; unable to fly. Grounded. But when he rode up the driveway that evening, she flew to greet him.
3. Glass
When he went to see her a few days after her aunt’s death, his first thought was that she looked like glass. Sitting in a corner of her room in the dark, alone and crying, all he could see was a glass doll that he would never let break again.
4. Tea
Her first reaction to the over eager suitor-wannabe was to throw her still warm tea in his face. She was so angry with him she wanted to scream. But a distracting hand on her shoulder kept her from following through and she watched as her husband made his claim known to the other man.
5. Star
He wondered why it was that she mirrored the brightness of stars in his eyes, no matter what state she was in.
6. Poem
She disliked most poetry. It was dull and repetitive, but there were a few she enjoy. Those were the ones she found while poking through the drawers of his desk.
7. Spot
He enjoyed the afternoons where he could find her curled up in one of the library’s cubby holes, soaking in the sun. The one she frequented most was dubbed “her spot” in his mind.
8. Kiss
She loved surprising him. Popping out from small places and catching him unawares. While he probably didn’t like that part, she would bet he did like the impromptu kiss that followed a scare.
9. Hand
He would find himself fascinated with her hands some days. The small, dainty fingers and soft palms. So unlike his own, and downright amusing when he found them covered with mud.
10. Scarf
She always made sure he had a scarf on the cold, windy days, going so far as to order him to a height she could reach so she could wrap it securely around his neck.
11. Leaf
Once when he was flipping through one of her books from home, he found a leaf pressed between the pages. She explained it was from the tree in her parent’s front yard. There was a bit of longing in her eyes that made his heart clench.
12. Scar
When she first saw the scar on his leg, she nearly burst into tears, imagining a highly painful occurrence, until he told her that it was from his childhood, when his brother hit him with a stick. She wasn’t sure how much she believed that.
13. Fire
He enjoyed evenings in front of the fire on the settee, with her back to his chest, and her peals of laughter at something causing him to smile as well.
14. Emotion
Sometimes, she wished he would show more emotion, but with one of his wordless gestures of affection, she would forget all about that wish, and thank God for making him the way he was.
15. Book
Every day he would finally say – to himself – that he could read her like a book. That was, until she said or did something entirely new, and he had to start all over again to fit this new quirk in.
16. Bell
She thought her hearing might be going bad until he looked at her with one of those looks of his that said she was being foolish again, and found that his message came across clear as a bell.
17. Whisper
He loved it when night fell, and she crawled under the covers to curl up beside him, whispering “I love you” and how the rest of their lives would be right because they were together.
18. Illness
She hated being sick. She couldn’t move, couldn’t barely breath, because when she caught an illness, it was usually bad. Now she hated it even more because she could see the worry and fear in his eyes while he sat beside her.
19. Logic
Logic was like a weapon when used correctly. You could always use it to corner your opponent, assuming they didn’t outwit you first. And he’d always used this as his fallback. Until now. She darted away from him, skirts trailing behind her, laughter filling the air, with his boots in hand.
20. Laugh
The first time she truly heard him laugh, she was enchanted. All she’d done was slip on the polished wood floors and fall with a loud “oomph” and he had started chuckling. From that moment forward, she made it her life’s goal to make him laugh more often.
21. Child
When they’d first met, he’d thought she was like a child. Some days, he still thought that. But there were moments where he would be knocked off his feet and left wondering where his sweet and innocent wife had gone to.
22. Breath
Winter was one of her favorite times of year. Because when she’d been outside for a long time and he came to find her, he would bend down to nuzzle her cheek, and his warm breath would ghost over her skin, warming it.
23. Eyes
He’d never particularly liked it when people stared at him, because it was downright unnerving. But when his wife leaned over him, eyes alight with mischief as they perused his features, he didn’t quite mind it so much.
24. Bag
The day she had to pack her bags to go back to her parent’s house was the day her heart felt like it would break in two, even though she knew it was for her own safety. She’d just never imagined she would have to leave his side.
25. Time
Everything seemed to stop when she left. Not only time, but also his heart. Like her presence alone made the world go round. It was terrible, and he wished the war would end so she could return to his side.
26. Fear
Her fear had been rising with every passing month that he wouldn’t send for her or even come for her himself when she turned around and her gaze was caught by a familiar tall and dark form. And in that instant, all her insecurities vanished.
27. Table
It did him a world of good to have her sitting across from him at the table once again, chattering about her day. Of course, it was a bit more chaotic with their twin sons there as well.
28. Scream
Her heart always pounded when she heard one of her children scream, but on this particular day, she didn’t mind the nerve attack as much, because she burst into the boys’ room to find their father tickling them on the rug.
29. Flower
No matter how many flowering weeds the twins might bring her per day, none of their plants brought the same look of heartfelt love to her face as his mere presence did.
30. Smile
She had it decided. The one thing she would never, ever tire of even if she tried. That was the soft smile on her husband’s face when he thought she wasn’t looking, one that radiated peace and contentment with his little family and that readiness for what tomorrow might bring.
And now I must dash, because it is 10:30 PM and I have much yet to do before rising a bit earlier than normal to (prayerfully) talk with my bestie over Skype tomorrow morning.
So, I hope you both enjoyed these and that you shall forgive me for the sudden quiet.
Please feel free to leave comments or questions below and thank you very much for reading!
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Writing: Original -- Of Moving and Storms
I haven't a lot of time due to a baby sitting job in forty-five minutes and not even having gotten out of bed yet, but I wanted to post this real fast so as to reassure Trinity that every one is doing quite well. Well, in the original they are. We won't speak of the deviant.
This scrawl was one that just came out of no where last week and is a short amount of time after Jhidek, Ruusan, and their four children moved from Norsha'ac to Istilanda, the difference being, from grassy hills, to oceans and beaches.
Please note, also, that Gramma Ti-ti is Tara and Grampa Ar-ar is Nuridarr. Vivian did love her nicknames as a baby and a few have stuck.
It is almost one o'clock in the morning when the first crack of lightning illuimnates the bedroom and it is quickly followed by a boom of thunder, wakening Ruusan almost instantly.
Disoriented initially, her heart pounds in her chest as she lifts her head from her pillow then lightning flashes again and she realizes, belatedly, that a storm has blown in off the ocean and even now, the rain batters against the glass windows taking up the far wall of the room.
Rolling over and sitting up, Ruu pulls the comforter around herself, glancing at the empty space on the other side of the bed. A quiet sigh escapes her.
Sometime in the next twenty-four hours, he'd said when he'd called earlier. This job was turning out to be a bit more unpredictable than expected, stretching to three days, possibly four, but Ruu knows Jay has to make up for his absence while moving her and the kids to Istilanda.
There are still boxes scattered everywhere because she hasn't been able to find the energy to both unpack and mind her children. Vivian and Ellora's excitement over the new location is complete, but just as often, she has to wipe away tears because, yes, they're going to see Gramma Ti-ti and Auntie Merri and Grampa Ar-ar and Auntie Raina again.
That is one thing Ruusan hadn't considered entirely when she and Jhidek had decided to move; the relative solitude that she'd be placed in by the new location. Having lived his family for the past five years, not having someone popping in and out throughout the day or meandering over to Auntie Tara's house when the girls had too much energy was a foreign concept.
But the change is doing her a lot of good at the same time. The fresh start and new setting helps Ruu keep her head clearer, freer of thoughts that threaten to weigh her down.
A faint smile pulls at her mouth as she looks around she and Jay's new room, the large bay windows looking out over the ocean, the light wood flooring and white-painted walls.
Overall, the house has five separate bedrooms, four on the second story, one on the first floor, and there is a small basement that acts as a storm shelter in case of a typhoon. Vivian and Ellora have been installed down the hall in the other room that overlooks the beach and sea, much to their delight, and Connor will be across the hall from them in a couple more months. Ruu has already had to nurse more than one pair of bruised knees due to the slippery hardwood floors, but is finding she likes them much better than the carpet in the apartment on Norsha'ac, if only because they are far easier to clean.
Sleep having fled for the time being despite her exhaustion earlier that evening, the woman slides out of bed, not bothering with the robe pooled on the floor beside the bed. She goes to the tall windows and pushes the curtains out of the way so she can see out. Wind is whipping at the trees and the ocean rolls and tosses, crashing up on the beach only to subside again.
Thunder continues to boom as well, and she absently hopes it won't wake the kids as it had her.
Ruusan watches the effect of the storm, crossing her arms over her stomach. She doubts it will hamper Jhidek's return, but still worries a bit that it will.
She lingers over the view a few minutes longer, then goes to check on Connor. At seven months, he's just beginning to crawl and Ruu made quick work of installing gates on the stairs so that neither he nor Ellie will take a tumble down them. Leaning over the crib, she smiles softly, brushing her fingers over the baby's cheek.
As always, the curls are her own, but it's the sandy color that means her genes have finally had some influence. A small triumph, but after both Vivian and Ellora turned out looking much like their respective fathers,
having Connor bear some resemblance to herself made the back-aches worth it.
Of course, his eyes are still brown.
Oh well, Ruu muses, tucking the blanket closer around her son and straightening to go check on her daughters. Maybe next round.
As she pads across the floor to the bedroom door, a small frown pulls at Ruusan's mouth. Not being near Jhidek's family any longer means that, aside from her husband, who is constantly coming and going, she'll be devoid of an extra set of hands to help with the kids while she's pregnant, especially when she nears her due date.
Considering this problem a few moments later, Ruu decides to bring it up with Jay at some point and tucks the thought away as she goes to her daughters' room.
The nightlight casts a faint glow over the space, giving it a warm atmosphere that seems to ward off the severity of the storm. On the short table between the two little beds and their slumbering occupants, a small, lavender music player has a soft piano piece on, keeping the thunder at bay.
Ruusan gently pushes back Ellora's dark curls, feeling her warmth and hearing her little breaths and pulls up the light purple comforter before shifting across the space between Ell's and Vivi's bed to check on her oldest.
Vivian's leg is hanging over the side of the mattress, so she eases back under the covers and bends down to kiss the five-year-old's temple.
I have no idea what I ever did to deserve all this, Lord, she thinks, rising after a couple more moments and going to stand in the doorway.
She stays there, lost in thought, until a faint clatter from downstairs catches the mother's attention.
Hope causes her pulse to pick up.
Jhidek.
Closing the girls' door behind herself, Ruu makes her way downstairs, the gates opening soundlessly at her behest as she passes through them to reach the main floor.
The air is cooler on the first floor and she crosses her arms over her chest to ward off the chill that causes goosebumps to break out over her arms. There's another faint noise that draws her attention and guides her through the dark house towards the entry way.
Ruu wanders to the short hallway that leads to the front door and draws to a halt when she sees Jhidek there, leaning over to pull off his boots.
He looks up and she smiles.
There you have it. Right as rain.
And now, I must dash. Thank you for reading!
Also, I'm considering doing a short review on BBC's North & South. Would anyone be interested in that?
Thank you muchas for reading!
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
This scrawl was one that just came out of no where last week and is a short amount of time after Jhidek, Ruusan, and their four children moved from Norsha'ac to Istilanda, the difference being, from grassy hills, to oceans and beaches.
Please note, also, that Gramma Ti-ti is Tara and Grampa Ar-ar is Nuridarr. Vivian did love her nicknames as a baby and a few have stuck.
It is almost one o'clock in the morning when the first crack of lightning illuimnates the bedroom and it is quickly followed by a boom of thunder, wakening Ruusan almost instantly.
Disoriented initially, her heart pounds in her chest as she lifts her head from her pillow then lightning flashes again and she realizes, belatedly, that a storm has blown in off the ocean and even now, the rain batters against the glass windows taking up the far wall of the room.
Rolling over and sitting up, Ruu pulls the comforter around herself, glancing at the empty space on the other side of the bed. A quiet sigh escapes her.
Sometime in the next twenty-four hours, he'd said when he'd called earlier. This job was turning out to be a bit more unpredictable than expected, stretching to three days, possibly four, but Ruu knows Jay has to make up for his absence while moving her and the kids to Istilanda.
There are still boxes scattered everywhere because she hasn't been able to find the energy to both unpack and mind her children. Vivian and Ellora's excitement over the new location is complete, but just as often, she has to wipe away tears because, yes, they're going to see Gramma Ti-ti and Auntie Merri and Grampa Ar-ar and Auntie Raina again.
That is one thing Ruusan hadn't considered entirely when she and Jhidek had decided to move; the relative solitude that she'd be placed in by the new location. Having lived his family for the past five years, not having someone popping in and out throughout the day or meandering over to Auntie Tara's house when the girls had too much energy was a foreign concept.
But the change is doing her a lot of good at the same time. The fresh start and new setting helps Ruu keep her head clearer, freer of thoughts that threaten to weigh her down.
A faint smile pulls at her mouth as she looks around she and Jay's new room, the large bay windows looking out over the ocean, the light wood flooring and white-painted walls.
Overall, the house has five separate bedrooms, four on the second story, one on the first floor, and there is a small basement that acts as a storm shelter in case of a typhoon. Vivian and Ellora have been installed down the hall in the other room that overlooks the beach and sea, much to their delight, and Connor will be across the hall from them in a couple more months. Ruu has already had to nurse more than one pair of bruised knees due to the slippery hardwood floors, but is finding she likes them much better than the carpet in the apartment on Norsha'ac, if only because they are far easier to clean.
Sleep having fled for the time being despite her exhaustion earlier that evening, the woman slides out of bed, not bothering with the robe pooled on the floor beside the bed. She goes to the tall windows and pushes the curtains out of the way so she can see out. Wind is whipping at the trees and the ocean rolls and tosses, crashing up on the beach only to subside again.
Thunder continues to boom as well, and she absently hopes it won't wake the kids as it had her.
Ruusan watches the effect of the storm, crossing her arms over her stomach. She doubts it will hamper Jhidek's return, but still worries a bit that it will.
She lingers over the view a few minutes longer, then goes to check on Connor. At seven months, he's just beginning to crawl and Ruu made quick work of installing gates on the stairs so that neither he nor Ellie will take a tumble down them. Leaning over the crib, she smiles softly, brushing her fingers over the baby's cheek.
As always, the curls are her own, but it's the sandy color that means her genes have finally had some influence. A small triumph, but after both Vivian and Ellora turned out looking much like their respective fathers,
having Connor bear some resemblance to herself made the back-aches worth it.
Of course, his eyes are still brown.
Oh well, Ruu muses, tucking the blanket closer around her son and straightening to go check on her daughters. Maybe next round.
As she pads across the floor to the bedroom door, a small frown pulls at Ruusan's mouth. Not being near Jhidek's family any longer means that, aside from her husband, who is constantly coming and going, she'll be devoid of an extra set of hands to help with the kids while she's pregnant, especially when she nears her due date.
Considering this problem a few moments later, Ruu decides to bring it up with Jay at some point and tucks the thought away as she goes to her daughters' room.
The nightlight casts a faint glow over the space, giving it a warm atmosphere that seems to ward off the severity of the storm. On the short table between the two little beds and their slumbering occupants, a small, lavender music player has a soft piano piece on, keeping the thunder at bay.
Ruusan gently pushes back Ellora's dark curls, feeling her warmth and hearing her little breaths and pulls up the light purple comforter before shifting across the space between Ell's and Vivi's bed to check on her oldest.
Vivian's leg is hanging over the side of the mattress, so she eases back under the covers and bends down to kiss the five-year-old's temple.
I have no idea what I ever did to deserve all this, Lord, she thinks, rising after a couple more moments and going to stand in the doorway.
She stays there, lost in thought, until a faint clatter from downstairs catches the mother's attention.
Hope causes her pulse to pick up.
Jhidek.
Closing the girls' door behind herself, Ruu makes her way downstairs, the gates opening soundlessly at her behest as she passes through them to reach the main floor.
The air is cooler on the first floor and she crosses her arms over her chest to ward off the chill that causes goosebumps to break out over her arms. There's another faint noise that draws her attention and guides her through the dark house towards the entry way.
Ruu wanders to the short hallway that leads to the front door and draws to a halt when she sees Jhidek there, leaning over to pull off his boots.
He looks up and she smiles.
There you have it. Right as rain.
And now, I must dash. Thank you for reading!
Also, I'm considering doing a short review on BBC's North & South. Would anyone be interested in that?
Thank you muchas for reading!
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
Writing: "nerves"
Truth be told, I can't remember when I wrote this. It was in the last year, I know that much, but otherwise, I'm quite in the dark. The computer says 8/17/2012, but that could be the last time I edited it.
This scribble is... a part of my heart, I guess. Nobody probably reads the tags, but for this one I've added "best friends" to the handful of identifying markers because I wrote this with myself and Penny's friendship in mind.
While day described in the scrawl has not yet come for either of us (I am only seventeen, after all), I believe it shall, and when it does, I quite expect I shall be this nervous mess, on both counts. Maybe. We'll just have to see now, won't we?
You should also note this isn't exactly representative of how Penny and I's conversations tend to go, but it is how some of them look to me. My grown-up, mature, and quite insightful ENFP of a best friend, giving me advice that makes me pause and go, "Oh, I hadn't though of it like that..."
The format is a bit weird, so it may take you a couple of sentences to adjust. Otherwise, I hope you'll find this to be amusing, if not a bit heart-warming.
(The height difference is totally accurate though. I'm 5'Nothing" to her... 5'6", Penny?)
Is this where I should comment that any similarities to persons either living or dead are entirely coincidental?
i clasp my hands over my stomach, over that white, white fabric that has enveloped my small frame, its many folds trailing out behind me and whispering whenever i move. nervous anxiety has gripped me and it makes my guts begin to churn.
where my mother is, i have no idea. the others all left me what felt like hours ago but must only be a few minutes in reality, per my own request.
i'd wanted a little bit of time to compose myself and the only result thus far had been to only make myself more uncertain.
had i made the right choice? was this who god was leading me to? could i spend the rest of my life with this man?
the thoughts weighed down on me, forcing me to find a seat and try to regain my nerve.
you've known him for years, everyone likes you, you love him, i told myself, taking in a deep breath, and then stilling when i heard the door into the room open.
the eyes that peeked in i would've known anywhere and the questioning look made me smile despite myself.
"can i come in?" she asked, stepping more fully into my line of vision.
"always," i murmured in reply, dropping my gaze to my lap.
she knows how to read me, she'll know what's going on.
not that there is anything wrong with that.
as i thought she would, my best friend of what must be almost two decades now came to sit next to me, smoothing out the fabric of her own gown - a gorgeous blue that she'd helped me pick out for the bridesmaid dresses.
"it's okay to be scared." she said after a moment, voice quiet in the otherwise still room. "it's not everyday you decide to give your life to someone else forever."
"thank you for that reminder," i grumbled halfheartedly, stomach rolling again because i can't do this but i can't dream of not doing this and--
"trust me," she murmured softly and i felt her hand on my back, rubbing a vague circle to try and calm me. "i've been in your shoes before."
"you wouldn't fit my shoes," i couldn't help but insert this somewhat witty comment, trying desperately to cover up my insecurity.
her laugh was quiet, but i could tell she's not distracted from the original subject. "you remember last time we were in this position but our roles were reversed, right?"
i mumbled an affirmative, recalling that time three years ago incredibly well, despite the time that had passed since.
"you thought i was nervous but trying to hide it and took it upon yourself to try and reassure me, remember?" there's amusement in her voice and i huffed in response to it. "what was it you told me again?"
"i just said that there was nothing to worry about because, in the movies, he's always just as nervous as she is, but you love each other and that'll make everything okay. even if you trip walking up the aisle, which you won't because you've got your big, buff daddy there to hold you up." i recited dutifully, then felt my ears heat. yes, i remembered every word of my nervous speech to my not-nervous best friend on her wedding day.
i had practiced it for days in advance, after all.
humor was back in her tone. "i haven't got anything like that for you, but maybe you should listen to your own advice."
"i'd rather hear yours," i murmured, finally glancing up at her and seeing the warmth in her dark eyes. "if you've got anything. if not, that's fine. i can totally come up with something on my own and --"
"hey," she stopped me with the quiet word, heading off my uneasy ramble before it got any further. "i have got something, if you're willing to hear it."
"always."
she nodded, studied me another moment, then said, "you love him, yes?"
a smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. "you actually want an answer to that?"
there's laughter in her eyes again but she didn't let it escape her. "you told me the day you met him that you'd fallen in love with his eyes and his smile. a year later you said you thought god might be trying to tell you something when it came to you and him because nothing ever felt so right when you were together. you two kept god right here all through your journey to this point," the words were spoken quietly as she touched a finger to where my heart lay. "and he never asked you to give each other up. i am of the opinion, that when god approves, you're in love, your parents have given their permission, and your friends are in total agreement, you've found the right guy."
i watched her quietly, always unsure of how to reply to her wisdom, but this time it seemed she had a bit more to say, saving me from the embarrassment of my own words a few minutes longer.
"so when your dad comes to that door in a few minutes," she continued at last. "i want to see your chin held high and a smile on your face because you are marrying the man you love. and i like to think that god is up there smiling somewhere because one of his precious children is getting married today and he could not be more proud of you."
words stuck to my throat and i couldn't speak for a moment. "you cannot make me cry right now because my sister put heavens-knows how much makeup on my face that has the potential to smear."
now she laughs, the sound quiet yet loud in the small room and i can't help but join her.
when our amusement dies down, i hug her, having to go up on tiptoe so i can rest my chin on her shoulder, arms tight around her "thank you," i whisper, emotion making my voice uneven. "thank you so much for everything."
"you're welcome," she whispers in reply, her embrace just as tight as mine is.
"there will still be an us after this," i say, drawing back enough to look at her face and seeing the tears in her eyes. "he and i will get back from the honeymoon and it'll be back to instant messaging everyday and random phone calls whenever we feel like it."
"maybe not everyday," humor is back on her face. "but often."
i let out a gusty sigh. "every other day, then. i can't live without you for that long, you know."
So, there you have it. I've always found that the art of writing without any capitalization to be a somewhat... special one, I suppose. It makes it feel more personal to me, somehow.
But anyways. I shall leave you to your day, while I got and watch North & South starring Richard Armitage, who many of you might know as Thorin from The Hobbit.
Many thanks, dear readers, for doing what you do best when it comes to this blog, and that is, reading, as one might expect. Have a lovely Sunday or Monday or whatever day it is when you read this.
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
This scribble is... a part of my heart, I guess. Nobody probably reads the tags, but for this one I've added "best friends" to the handful of identifying markers because I wrote this with myself and Penny's friendship in mind.
While day described in the scrawl has not yet come for either of us (I am only seventeen, after all), I believe it shall, and when it does, I quite expect I shall be this nervous mess, on both counts. Maybe. We'll just have to see now, won't we?
You should also note this isn't exactly representative of how Penny and I's conversations tend to go, but it is how some of them look to me. My grown-up, mature, and quite insightful ENFP of a best friend, giving me advice that makes me pause and go, "Oh, I hadn't though of it like that..."
The format is a bit weird, so it may take you a couple of sentences to adjust. Otherwise, I hope you'll find this to be amusing, if not a bit heart-warming.
(The height difference is totally accurate though. I'm 5'Nothing" to her... 5'6", Penny?)
Is this where I should comment that any similarities to persons either living or dead are entirely coincidental?
i clasp my hands over my stomach, over that white, white fabric that has enveloped my small frame, its many folds trailing out behind me and whispering whenever i move. nervous anxiety has gripped me and it makes my guts begin to churn.
where my mother is, i have no idea. the others all left me what felt like hours ago but must only be a few minutes in reality, per my own request.
i'd wanted a little bit of time to compose myself and the only result thus far had been to only make myself more uncertain.
had i made the right choice? was this who god was leading me to? could i spend the rest of my life with this man?
the thoughts weighed down on me, forcing me to find a seat and try to regain my nerve.
you've known him for years, everyone likes you, you love him, i told myself, taking in a deep breath, and then stilling when i heard the door into the room open.
the eyes that peeked in i would've known anywhere and the questioning look made me smile despite myself.
"can i come in?" she asked, stepping more fully into my line of vision.
"always," i murmured in reply, dropping my gaze to my lap.
she knows how to read me, she'll know what's going on.
not that there is anything wrong with that.
as i thought she would, my best friend of what must be almost two decades now came to sit next to me, smoothing out the fabric of her own gown - a gorgeous blue that she'd helped me pick out for the bridesmaid dresses.
"it's okay to be scared." she said after a moment, voice quiet in the otherwise still room. "it's not everyday you decide to give your life to someone else forever."
"thank you for that reminder," i grumbled halfheartedly, stomach rolling again because i can't do this but i can't dream of not doing this and--
"trust me," she murmured softly and i felt her hand on my back, rubbing a vague circle to try and calm me. "i've been in your shoes before."
"you wouldn't fit my shoes," i couldn't help but insert this somewhat witty comment, trying desperately to cover up my insecurity.
her laugh was quiet, but i could tell she's not distracted from the original subject. "you remember last time we were in this position but our roles were reversed, right?"
i mumbled an affirmative, recalling that time three years ago incredibly well, despite the time that had passed since.
"you thought i was nervous but trying to hide it and took it upon yourself to try and reassure me, remember?" there's amusement in her voice and i huffed in response to it. "what was it you told me again?"
"i just said that there was nothing to worry about because, in the movies, he's always just as nervous as she is, but you love each other and that'll make everything okay. even if you trip walking up the aisle, which you won't because you've got your big, buff daddy there to hold you up." i recited dutifully, then felt my ears heat. yes, i remembered every word of my nervous speech to my not-nervous best friend on her wedding day.
i had practiced it for days in advance, after all.
humor was back in her tone. "i haven't got anything like that for you, but maybe you should listen to your own advice."
"i'd rather hear yours," i murmured, finally glancing up at her and seeing the warmth in her dark eyes. "if you've got anything. if not, that's fine. i can totally come up with something on my own and --"
"hey," she stopped me with the quiet word, heading off my uneasy ramble before it got any further. "i have got something, if you're willing to hear it."
"always."
she nodded, studied me another moment, then said, "you love him, yes?"
a smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. "you actually want an answer to that?"
there's laughter in her eyes again but she didn't let it escape her. "you told me the day you met him that you'd fallen in love with his eyes and his smile. a year later you said you thought god might be trying to tell you something when it came to you and him because nothing ever felt so right when you were together. you two kept god right here all through your journey to this point," the words were spoken quietly as she touched a finger to where my heart lay. "and he never asked you to give each other up. i am of the opinion, that when god approves, you're in love, your parents have given their permission, and your friends are in total agreement, you've found the right guy."
i watched her quietly, always unsure of how to reply to her wisdom, but this time it seemed she had a bit more to say, saving me from the embarrassment of my own words a few minutes longer.
"so when your dad comes to that door in a few minutes," she continued at last. "i want to see your chin held high and a smile on your face because you are marrying the man you love. and i like to think that god is up there smiling somewhere because one of his precious children is getting married today and he could not be more proud of you."
words stuck to my throat and i couldn't speak for a moment. "you cannot make me cry right now because my sister put heavens-knows how much makeup on my face that has the potential to smear."
now she laughs, the sound quiet yet loud in the small room and i can't help but join her.
when our amusement dies down, i hug her, having to go up on tiptoe so i can rest my chin on her shoulder, arms tight around her "thank you," i whisper, emotion making my voice uneven. "thank you so much for everything."
"you're welcome," she whispers in reply, her embrace just as tight as mine is.
"there will still be an us after this," i say, drawing back enough to look at her face and seeing the tears in her eyes. "he and i will get back from the honeymoon and it'll be back to instant messaging everyday and random phone calls whenever we feel like it."
"maybe not everyday," humor is back on her face. "but often."
i let out a gusty sigh. "every other day, then. i can't live without you for that long, you know."
So, there you have it. I've always found that the art of writing without any capitalization to be a somewhat... special one, I suppose. It makes it feel more personal to me, somehow.
But anyways. I shall leave you to your day, while I got and watch North & South starring Richard Armitage, who many of you might know as Thorin from The Hobbit.
Many thanks, dear readers, for doing what you do best when it comes to this blog, and that is, reading, as one might expect. Have a lovely Sunday or Monday or whatever day it is when you read this.
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
Friday, March 22, 2013
A Writer on Pinterest
You know that awful moment when it's a Saturday morning and you're expecting to sleep in after a really long, really emotional day yesterday that had you in tears as you crawl into bed, and then it's 7:30 in the morning and you never wake up this early, let alone on a Saturday, but you're awake now and it's just... Sigh.
So, yes, it's 7:45 and while my headache from last night is gone, I really had wanted to sleep longer. Oh well.
For the focus of this post, Pinterest.
I believe that the majority of you already follow me on Pinterest, but I'm going to put this together for those who don't.
As any good writer on Pinterest does, I have a variety of story and character related boards to which I pin a good deal of pictures pertaining to the board's title.
I will provide a link to each board and a brief summary about what's entailed below. Please don't hesitate to follow through, even if you don't have Pinterest. (Though if you don't have Pinterest, you might consider it.)
Story Inspiration
I have three boards that all begin with "story". Story Inspiration is a collection of pins that provide me with inspiration for something to include in a story. That could be anything from a bunch of dragon pictures to a short quote that makes me go "Ooh, that'd be a fascinating line to spin a story off of."
Story Setting
As the title might suggest, Story Setting is all about the world in which a story might take place. The locations range from an artwork of an oriental palace in mountains to a digital rendering of a sci-fi style hotel room. Take your pick.
Story Style
This would be for those looking to outfit their heroes in anything from silver wire masquerade masks to a black bustle skirt from the Victorian era. This board is still a bit new and my eye is not particularly drawn to things of the accessory/clothing genre, so filling it is a work in progress.
Faces to Remember
When you're on Pinterest and going through people's story boards, you'll find that they have a penchant to save pictures of people who they find inspiring, and this is my take on that. All the faces to be found in this board are ones that I think would be interesting in a story, but have not yet found a home for. Ages range from adorable little Asian girls to an older woman with gray hair who has all the qualities of a mentor in her face.
Now, for the more personal boards, involving the characters I already have.
Characters
This is a stashing spot for the pictures I find that remind me of my characters. It doesn't always have to be spot on. Maybe it's his hair, or her expression, but it's a little conglomerate of things that make up the people inside my head. (Hint: If you wanted to have an idea of what Vivian looks like, here's your chance.)
Hints of Character
This board is very similar to Characters, but it's in words, songs, and poses instead. This song lyrics remind me of those two characters at this given time; that Mustang is one that I could see my character's brother fixing and then the character driving. Little things that make up the characters on the inside, instead of on the outside.
Profile: Sarris and Novarr Schaefe
This is a specialized board for my characters, Sarris and Novarr. It's a big mish-mash of Characters and Hints of Characters, just for the two of them. I also enjoy doing MBTI for my characters, so Novarr has a fair deal of ENTP pins. Sarris, on the other hand, shares her type with several other of my characters, and I have stuffed them all in another board that I'll share at the end. (Warning: Sarris has had a tough background, and a couple of the pins in this board reflect that. One is of bloody hands, the other uses the word "h*ll", so if you're not comfortable with either, consider skipping this board.)
Profile: Ruusan and Jaydn Schaefe
Technically, Ruusan has been both an Armstrong and a Vhander, but calling her a Schaefe was easiest, so I went with that. Like Sarris and Novarr's board, this is just a collection of pictures and quotes that remind me of these two sisters, although now it's extended to encompass the Deviant, so if something doesn't make sense, see if it has a "Deviant Ruu/Jade" note attached. If not, it may have a "Kidnapped Ruu" note, and that means the same as the deviant.
Profile: Ianthe and the Tribes
I believe I already shared this board when I posted about Ianthe a while back, but I'll share it again for any newcomers or happen-byers. This board is a bit more expansive than the last world, extended to include Ianthe's world and all the people and places in it. So there'll be pictures that remind me of characters or images of real life Arabian palaces, all in an attempt to capture the feel of that world.
Profile: Jasmine "Jaz" O'Haire
Not one of my largest boards ever, but this is a smattering of things that make me think of Jaz, who I've posted a couple of scrawls about. The majority of this board's contents are her MBTI type, which is ESTJ, but there are a handful of others things included as well.
MBTI Personality
And last but not least, my MBTI Personality board. This has a mix of various types that either hold meaning to me via friends or characters, or just interested me enough to repin them. If they are connected to a character, there will be a note at the bottom saying who it is. For instance, there are several ISTJ pins that are marked with Sarris, Jaydn, and Cameron, and more still of ISFP, which is a new character of mine, Leo Argon.
And with that, I think I've covered all my story-related boards on Pinterest. If you feel like delving into the bottomless pit that is the rest of my Pinterest, feel free, but don't expect to escape for some time.
Hopefully, you all found this quite interesting, or some such. Thanks for your time and I pray you all will be sleeping on Saturday morning, not writing blog posts, as I am.
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
So, yes, it's 7:45 and while my headache from last night is gone, I really had wanted to sleep longer. Oh well.
For the focus of this post, Pinterest.
I believe that the majority of you already follow me on Pinterest, but I'm going to put this together for those who don't.
As any good writer on Pinterest does, I have a variety of story and character related boards to which I pin a good deal of pictures pertaining to the board's title.
I will provide a link to each board and a brief summary about what's entailed below. Please don't hesitate to follow through, even if you don't have Pinterest. (Though if you don't have Pinterest, you might consider it.)
Story Inspiration
I have three boards that all begin with "story". Story Inspiration is a collection of pins that provide me with inspiration for something to include in a story. That could be anything from a bunch of dragon pictures to a short quote that makes me go "Ooh, that'd be a fascinating line to spin a story off of."
Story Setting
As the title might suggest, Story Setting is all about the world in which a story might take place. The locations range from an artwork of an oriental palace in mountains to a digital rendering of a sci-fi style hotel room. Take your pick.
Story Style
This would be for those looking to outfit their heroes in anything from silver wire masquerade masks to a black bustle skirt from the Victorian era. This board is still a bit new and my eye is not particularly drawn to things of the accessory/clothing genre, so filling it is a work in progress.
Faces to Remember
When you're on Pinterest and going through people's story boards, you'll find that they have a penchant to save pictures of people who they find inspiring, and this is my take on that. All the faces to be found in this board are ones that I think would be interesting in a story, but have not yet found a home for. Ages range from adorable little Asian girls to an older woman with gray hair who has all the qualities of a mentor in her face.
Now, for the more personal boards, involving the characters I already have.
Characters
This is a stashing spot for the pictures I find that remind me of my characters. It doesn't always have to be spot on. Maybe it's his hair, or her expression, but it's a little conglomerate of things that make up the people inside my head. (Hint: If you wanted to have an idea of what Vivian looks like, here's your chance.)
Hints of Character
This board is very similar to Characters, but it's in words, songs, and poses instead. This song lyrics remind me of those two characters at this given time; that Mustang is one that I could see my character's brother fixing and then the character driving. Little things that make up the characters on the inside, instead of on the outside.
Profile: Sarris and Novarr Schaefe
This is a specialized board for my characters, Sarris and Novarr. It's a big mish-mash of Characters and Hints of Characters, just for the two of them. I also enjoy doing MBTI for my characters, so Novarr has a fair deal of ENTP pins. Sarris, on the other hand, shares her type with several other of my characters, and I have stuffed them all in another board that I'll share at the end. (Warning: Sarris has had a tough background, and a couple of the pins in this board reflect that. One is of bloody hands, the other uses the word "h*ll", so if you're not comfortable with either, consider skipping this board.)
Profile: Ruusan and Jaydn Schaefe
Technically, Ruusan has been both an Armstrong and a Vhander, but calling her a Schaefe was easiest, so I went with that. Like Sarris and Novarr's board, this is just a collection of pictures and quotes that remind me of these two sisters, although now it's extended to encompass the Deviant, so if something doesn't make sense, see if it has a "Deviant Ruu/Jade" note attached. If not, it may have a "Kidnapped Ruu" note, and that means the same as the deviant.
Profile: Ianthe and the Tribes
I believe I already shared this board when I posted about Ianthe a while back, but I'll share it again for any newcomers or happen-byers. This board is a bit more expansive than the last world, extended to include Ianthe's world and all the people and places in it. So there'll be pictures that remind me of characters or images of real life Arabian palaces, all in an attempt to capture the feel of that world.
Profile: Jasmine "Jaz" O'Haire
Not one of my largest boards ever, but this is a smattering of things that make me think of Jaz, who I've posted a couple of scrawls about. The majority of this board's contents are her MBTI type, which is ESTJ, but there are a handful of others things included as well.
MBTI Personality
And last but not least, my MBTI Personality board. This has a mix of various types that either hold meaning to me via friends or characters, or just interested me enough to repin them. If they are connected to a character, there will be a note at the bottom saying who it is. For instance, there are several ISTJ pins that are marked with Sarris, Jaydn, and Cameron, and more still of ISFP, which is a new character of mine, Leo Argon.
And with that, I think I've covered all my story-related boards on Pinterest. If you feel like delving into the bottomless pit that is the rest of my Pinterest, feel free, but don't expect to escape for some time.
Hopefully, you all found this quite interesting, or some such. Thanks for your time and I pray you all will be sleeping on Saturday morning, not writing blog posts, as I am.
Ad astra per aspera.
To the stars, through difficulties.
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